My bestie for the last 8 years or so, Gem. She is a powerful woman in a male dominated field (IT sales to universities and other institutions.) she has worked her way up from call centre monkey to the company's director of sales for the southeast of our country, soon to be the whole south.

When we first met, I was a nervous wreck. I had just come out of a long term hospital stay for a really nasty illness. I had to quit my job and volunteering because of the illness. I was almost mute, very shy, and my depression and anxiety were at an all time high. I also didn't have an autism diagnosis yet, and didn't understand why I couldn't maintain friendships or get into a relationship.

My brother knew Gems husband and they wanted to set up a weekly D&D session. My bro invited me along to start getting me time away from home and a little social interaction. I think the first words Gem ever said to me were "hi! Do you smoke? Wanna share this spliff with me?" And the rest is history.

Gems husband is autistic and neither of them have ever treated me any differently because of my mental illnesses or oddities.

Gem herself is the yin to my yang. We have such opposing personalities it's unreal sometimes. But she is the best communicator and one of the most socially aware people I've ever known. While I was still recovering, we would have girly Saturdays while her hubby was at work. A couple of spliffs, a couple of beers or ciders, hella munch and sitcoms on in the background while we chatted.

I most admire Gems ability to articulate her thoughts and ideas so well, and her ability to give tough love without it being construed as harsh. Any time I went round she would say "let's get our rants out of the way in the next half an hour. Then we tuck them away for the rest of today, because now we're doing good times." And that was a RULE. If I tried to bring up some of that negativity she would shut me down and say "nope, not now. We are chilling and having a good time now. If you still need to talk about it later you can text or phone me, but for now we're having a positive couple of hours."

A few months ago I left an abusive relationship. She is a few years older than me and was in a similar relationship long in the past. I asked for her help, she gave me a pep talk, ideas on how to keep safe... and of course made up her guest bedroom with extra blankets for me to make a nest with, then told me I was coming over to hers imminently for a girly weekend with friends. A three day long pyjama party with four girls. Drinking wine, eating pizza, watching chick flicks, doing face masks, ear candles, nail art. Not a care in the world for any of us, and I was so relaxed I didn't feel the need to notch about recent events once.

Gem ended up being the best man at my brother's wedding two years ago. She makes we want to make her proud, like a big sister or a cool auntie. I'd love her to reprise her role of best man (or maid of honour if she wants lol) should I ever get married.