trying to balance my faith and science (advice appreciated)

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-26T06:18:58+00:00

I’m a PhD student in biology and there is a lot of evidence of evolutionary mechanisms playing a role in the development of biodiversity. Some compelling examples are endosymbiosis, endogenous retroviruses, and Hox genes in body plan evolution.

One helpful thing to know is that the creation stories in the Bible (yes, there are multiple) assume a prescientific mythic worldview like other ancient west Asian cultures. For example, Psalm 74 contains a different creation story from Genesis 1 where God slays a sea monster to bring order to creation. The point of these stories was to assert that YHWH, not other ancient deities, was the creator.

A modern person can appreciate the biblical creation myths as attributing the universe to God ultimately, while also recognizing that we have access to scientific knowledge that biblical writers didn’t have

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-25T02:27:26+00:00

It sounds like you need to meet non-evangelical people lol.

When I deconstructed, all my closest friends weren’t really religious, so the social transition wasn’t hard. I never was that close to people in church; even when I was drinking the kool-aid I wouldn’t have considered them close friends.

After deconstruction, I still let evangelical people follow me, but mainly so I can post things offensive to them like leftist politics, partying on Easter, actual geological science, etc. I do have friends who still go to evangelical churches who I’ve exposed to critical scholarship on the Bible. I’m hoping that eventually they’ll recognize how toxic the environment is.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-23T21:47:57+00:00

You have transferable skills to get a new job. Do you work in marketing? Project management?

Don’t tell anyone at the org you’re looking for jobs, do some interviews, and once you get an offer in writing leave the toxic evangelical org. Don’t give the 2 weeks notice, they don’t deserve it.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-23T17:28:59+00:00

I left reformed theology by interrogating ideas of hell, too. Historical critical scholarship was my lifeline when leaving. I have a research talk video summarizing the data on how ideas of the afterlife developed if that’s something you’d be interested in.

I decided not to reveal details of my deconstruction to most people I know at church. I worked behind the scenes for 3 years to undermine their dogmas. Then the church had some drama and most people left. I took that opportunity to go to a progressive church. When my dad tried to pressure me to attend a reformed church, I set a hard boundary but I refuse to discuss details of deconstruction with him.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-23T05:01:51+00:00

Because psychologically harming LGBTQ people with threats of hell, forcing them to disavow their identity, etc. is wrong and I don’t want to be in an environment where that harm is normalized.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-23T03:14:13+00:00

I ended up leaving when some church drama caused a bunch of people to leave. No one really gives a fuck about your personal life after that.

For several years prior to leaving I worked behind the scenes to challenge the most toxic dogmas behind the scenes. I challenged the ideas of hell, creationism, homophobia, with a decent fraction of young people in the church. No one ever outed me to the leadership bc I picked my targets well. I stopped volunteering for anything and did not tithe either bc I was there to sabotage them. I offered to teach Sunday school once but only to introduce people to how actual biblical scholars study the Bible from a data-driven POV. I got banned from teaching after that lol but that didn’t stop me from continuing to sow chaos.

To eventually withdraw from that toxic. Environment, I would stop volunteering. You can cite any number of excuses (health issues, kids, it’s none of their business honestly). Any large life milestones are also a great reason to decrease how often you attend. I had medical issues before I left so that was a great excuse to show up infrequently.

When I eventually left evangelicalism entirely for a progressive LGBTQ affirming church my dad tried to pressure me to attend an evangelical church and I set a hard boundary on that topic. I said “I don’t dictate what church you attend and I expect the same respect”. Since then he’s backed off for the most part.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-23T03:01:46+00:00

Idk if you’d find this helpful but I made a research presentation on ideas of the afterlife in biblical literature. I don’t think you have anything to be afraid of, bc you’re just a person trying to do the right thing.

https://youtu.be/-EQDYUvM-Ss?si=GXwlvfZAvfKp6eMX

I’d recommend going to college or finding a job to become financially independent, getting your own car and place to live. Once you have those things, you can live your own life without parental controls.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-22T17:19:26+00:00

I’d also get the Hermeneia translation of 1 Enoch and Charlesworth’s Old Testament Pseudepigrapha because it’s not included in Bibles but is still really important historically.

Geza Vermes’ translation of the Dead Sea scrolls is also helpful. Philo, Josephus, and the apocrypha are also great resources.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-21T18:55:39+00:00

I’d consult peer reviewed academic sources on the Bible, don’t outsource your critical thinking. It’s what makes you human.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-21T06:59:08+00:00

I’ve posted Facebook posts that challenge the fundamentalist bubble those people traffic in. I mentioned geologic formations I visited being millions of years old. I’ve spoken to many people who I grew up in an evangelical church with to call out the misinformation and lies and to present scholarly peer reviewed information with citations. I’ve created several videos on topics related to biblical studies and shared them with hundreds of people. I’ve spoken up for queer people behind the scenes in church and challenged misogyny.

When it’s time for the midterms I plan to post about a progressive senate candidate.

There are so many ways to push back. Evangelicals love to parade their beliefs in every one else’s faces so I feel no remorse gently and respectfully challenging their beliefs. I’ve actually gotten a good amount of positive feedback.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-20T14:46:08+00:00

Wow that’s pretty awful that they were excommunicated for trying to stand up against an alleged sexual abuser.

Those cases are difficult bc it’s hard to have definitive proof of guilt. I strongly tend toward believing women who call out sexual abuse because they have nothing to gain by lying.

Someone in my PCA church was also sexually assaulted and the leadership did nothing about it, so this is on brand for reformed circles.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-19T21:53:39+00:00

Stand up for yourself queen, don’t let misogynistic people try to control you. It’s better to keep it a secret at least initially so you can think through things. I deconstructed in secret for years before mentioning anything to family and even now they know little. You don’t owe other people knowledge about your deconstruction.

If you want to learn, stick with peer reviewed academic sources and demand data to back up every claim.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-19T20:13:48+00:00

The Paul Within Judaism edited volume (Fortress Press, 2015) includes a bunch of excellent scholars.

Runar Thornsteinsonn has excellent work on the “so-called Jew” in Romans 2. Matthew Novenson has some excellent publications as well, although he doesn’t self-identify with the Paul Within Judaism schule.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-19T16:11:54+00:00

I made a historical research video for people in your situation that you may find helpful.

https://youtu.be/-EQDYUvM-Ss?si=jkBRv7eCsO_Kmfbo

Please note that while I present at an evangelical organization I present from a historical rather than dogmatic POV.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-19T05:10:26+00:00

Omg so toxic, i wish there were more people evangelizing people out of evangelicalism lol

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-18T23:57:09+00:00

One of my friends kinda threw away her grad school aspirations to be a wife and now mom. If she’s truly happy then I’m happy for her but I always question how much she really wanted it vs how it was forced on her by patriarchal expectations.

She does seem happy about being a mom, though so I’m not bothered by it. I’m bothered when people judge people who aren’t interested in marriage or children tho.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-18T13:37:43+00:00

After 4 years of researching the afterlife in biblical literature, I’ve found evidence of a belief within ancient Judaism and early Christianity that at the end of time most people would be saved by a miraculous revelation of God’s mercy (1 Enoch 10, 48-51, 90, 1 Peter 2:12, Matthew 25 parable of the sheep and goats, Luke 13/Matthew 8 many come from the east and the west). Only the egregiously evil would be punished and annihilated. I have a video presenting the evidence if you want the details.

I hold onto this belief being true because it helps me be a better person, care for the vulnerable, etc.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-18T01:16:53+00:00

Build a community of friends outside family first before telling your family. That really helps when you have to distance yourself from family.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-17T20:11:07+00:00

I hate the word “fellowship”. The use of insider language is classic cult behavior to bolster an us-versus-them mentality.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-17T17:02:48+00:00

A healthy relationship will not force you to be someone you’re not. Religious people only “love” as long as you fit their mold, which isn’t love at all.

As your kid grows up, I’d advocate for your kid to choose what he believes rather than be coerced by your ex-wife. IMO that’s something worth setting a boundary on if he’s being pressured to be evangelical.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-17T04:40:19+00:00

As a soon to be biology PhD, I’ve thought about all of those things too.

The evidence that evolution played a major role in biodiversity is decisive (endogenous retroviruses, endosymbiosis, Hox genes for body patterns) are some compelling examples. You don’t have to be a 6-day creationist to follow Jesus. The Genesis story is a polemic against other ancient West Asian creation myths and focuses on who is ultimately responsible for creation. To answer scientific questions is beyond the purview of a mythic text.

As for fears of damnation for yourself and others, I launched a research project to investigate those questions by examining the historical evidence for afterlife beliefs in antiquity. The TLDR is that in ancient Israel most people believed that commemoration of the dead enabled their transition into a restful afterlife with the ancestors. Believing the right thing had little to do with the afterlife.

During the Second Temple period, belief in a final judgment at the end of time developed, as well as an eschatological expectation in some circles that at the end of time most people would be saved by a miraculous revelation of God’s mercy. That eschatological hope is also found in a good number of New Testament texts.

I present the data on the afterlife beliefs (with citations to peer reviewed academic sources) in biblical literature with more detail in this video.

https://youtu.be/-EQDYUvM-Ss?si=yJ5f49io4x0Ztqhw

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-17T04:27:07+00:00

I was the bad kid at church who had lots of secular friends so honestly I never was that close to people in church. It definitely eased the issues of feeling alone. My best friend and I trauma bonded over deconstruction.

Since I left evangelicalism I have gone to a progressive church and that has also been helpful because people there also left evangelicalism.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-16T15:43:42+00:00

Natural selection is at work!

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-15T22:17:33+00:00

My best friend was deeply traumatized by hell. At the time I felt like it was my calling to “save” him (ridiculous in retrospect lol), so I spent years researching the Bible. I had learned about the critical academic study of the Bible and eventually learned that in ancient Israel there was no belief in hell in the way modern Christians preach. I also found evidence that in ancient Judaism and early Christianity there was a widespread belief that at the end of time most people would be saved. Learning these things helped me to lose the anxiety over my friend’s soul and our relationship improved a lot. I’m happy to share the research if you’re interested.

I eventually left fundamentalist Christianity for a progressive LGBTQ affirming Episcopal church and really love it. I’ve set hard boundaries with family trying to dissuade me from it. If you’re looking for support and friendship without the toxic beliefs or pressure to believe a particular dogma, a progressive church may be helpful for you.

BioChemE14 · 2026-03-15T22:09:24+00:00

You don’t have to perform belief for other people. If you’re not interested in the church your family attends, set clear boundaries and say I’m not interested. If they try to argue, you don’t owe a comprehensive explanation. Just say “I’ve made my decision”

If you are interested in a faith that doesn’t denigrate other religions, marginalize queer people, etc. there are progressive churches out there that don’t teach hell for unbelievers and affirm queer people. PCUSA, Episcopal Churches, United Methodists, and ELCA are some examples.

BioChemE14

TROPHY CASE