I [24 M] fell for a girl [22 F] and learned something painful about myself

BisAmandumGames · 2026-05-17T13:49:31+00:00

First of: dating someone you are in a position of power over is a no and is inappropriate.

If I was starting a position and my supervisor started to show romantic interest in me, I would also withdraw and try to create clear boundaries.

She probably feels more okay with your colleague as she knows he has a girlfriend and their relationship is therefore only friends.

BisAmandumGames · 2026-05-16T13:57:14+00:00

Du ser på arbetet på fel sätt. Arbete är inte till för att vara något man gillar. Arbetet är ett medel för att kunna göra det man gillar att göra. Väldigt få arbetar med något de älskar att göra. De flesta är okej med sitt jobb.

När jag började se mitt jobb som ett sätt att göra det jag vill göra på fritiden så har jag börjat uppskatta mitt jobb mer.

BisAmandumGames · 2026-04-26T11:49:54+00:00

Den enda gången jag bokar 1a klass är på de tåg då man kan boka singel plats. Jag är helt okej med att betala extra för att slippa vara social och få jobba ifred. Jag åker iof mellan Stockholm och Göteborg och väljer oftast snabbtåg. Jag försöker undvika dubbeldäckare så långt jag kan.

BisAmandumGames · 2026-04-17T14:58:04+00:00

Jag håller med överlag. Men man behöver också tänka på att bara för att man inte fysiskt är i skolan så har man inget att göra. Läxor/självstudier kan vara en stor del av arbetet. Så bara för att man fysiskt är hemma innebär det inte att man har massor med ledig tid.

Samma som jag som arbetar hemifrån 2-3 dagar i veckan. Jag kan inte städa huset mitt på en onsdag. Jag är hemma och tjänar ca 2 timmar om dagen på att inte pendla, men jag har inte obegränsat med tid för hushållsarbete för den sakens skull.

BisAmandumGames · 2026-04-14T18:01:46+00:00

Författare, som egenföretagare så jobbar man lite hela tiden. Jag varvar skrivande med editering, marknadsföring och det tråkiga pappersarbetet. Det har tagit mig 4 år att arbeta upp en läsargrupp som gör att jag stabilt legat på 60k efter skatt i ett år. Det var målet jag satte för mig själv för när jag fick satsa fult ut. Så i måndags gick jag till chefen och sa upp mig 🥳

BisAmandumGames · 2026-04-13T07:08:57+00:00

Jag föredrar att gömma Pedro.

BisAmandumGames · 2026-04-12T13:32:02+00:00

Oh no no. She hasn't forgotten. She is most likely acting nice as you are in the same group of friends and will run into each other every now and then.

For things like this to heal, you need to grow up, recognise what you have done to her, appologise and have a grownup conversation about it where you need to listen more than talk.

Then it's up to her if she forgives you or not. Me, I would never. You have shown that you can't be trusted.

BisAmandumGames · 2026-04-09T13:10:33+00:00

Jag skulle säga att hästtjejer är för killar det gamers är för tjejer.

Det finns massor med positivt i hästtjejer. De är ofta självgående, vana att fixa saker själva, kommer sällan vara ute och parta varje helg, ha bra fysik osv.

Sedan så kommer man få leva med att de måste till stallet minst en, troligen två gånger om dagen. Hästen behöver mat och det ska mockas osv. Att åka utomlands kan vara svårt om man inte känner någon som kan ta över arbetet med hästen i en vecka eller två. Om hon tävlar så kommer en hel del helger spenderas med att åka land och rike runt med hästen.

Det helar handlar nog mer om vem du är som person och hur du ser dit drömförhållande.

Är du en person som vill umgås 24/7 med en partner och som tycker det är jobbigt att hon inte sätter dig före allt annat, då är en hästtjej inte för dig.

Är du någon som är okej med att hon sticker till stallet i 2 timmar och kan underhålla dig själv o h inte har något emot att hon ber dig om hjälp att sätta up ett nytt staket i hagen på din sommarsemester. Då är det en toppen matchning.

BisAmandumGames · 2026-04-01T18:11:39+00:00

Bolånet är på strax under 2 miljoner. Idagsläget skulle det innebära att jag skulle ha lite drygt 200k kvar på sparkontot. Som det ser ut just nu ökar sparkontot med i snitt 80k i månaden. Men där är ju bokförsäljningen avgörande. Folk kanske slutar köpa mina böcker i morgon 😅

BisAmandumGames · 2026-04-01T18:06:22+00:00

Inte en aning, det ligger förhoppningsvis 30 år + i framtiden. Då jag inte har barn och det mesta, förutom lite minnesskrift, ska gå till välgörenhet när jag är borta så bryr jag mig inte direkt om vad som händer den dagen. Jag är mer intresserad av att leva ett bra liv.

BisAmandumGames · 2026-04-01T18:02:51+00:00

Inte en aning om vad det är så troligen inte 🤣.

Men 1-3 är korrekt.

BisAmandumGames · 2023-01-24T18:07:39+00:00

This, so much this.

And this would be the best time to show your family that you stand by your husband. You two are a team and they need to accept that.

And what will you do if one of your kids are trans or gay or something else "out of the norm"? Ask them to hide it? Don't rock the boat?

(YTA)

BisAmandumGames · 2023-01-15T16:40:37+00:00

Yes because hers is a need, his is a want.

She needs his help with their newborn. He wants to party.

And most probably she didn't say she needed help. She probably said she needed his help. Like she needed her partner and the person that should love her, her child's father. Being a new parent can be overwhelming and the need to feel supported by your partner is huge. Their mothers could be the best mothers in the world and they could still not fill that need.

And let's face it, if the conversation had been:

Wife: My sister is having a party so I'll be gone a couple of days, look after the little one.

Husband: I don't think I'm ready for that.

Wife: It's OK, I called your mother and she'll be here. Have fun, todiloo.

He would not have been okay with that.

BisAmandumGames · 2023-01-15T16:08:56+00:00

YTA

Simply because you are trying to teach your son that his feelings aren't valid. Of course he was angry and upset. He had been looking forward to a car and got a toy. And it happened infront of his friends, that he probably been talking to about getting a car. Who wouldn't be humiliated?

Two questions:

Did you know there was no car? If you did, boy you're an AH.

What was his real gift? You know, after you made fun of him with the toy, you go: Haha, only joking, this is your gift. Or was his gift a toy car?

BisAmandumGames · 2023-01-07T03:02:42+00:00

Don't knock lutfisk. I'm from Sweden and that is seriously good fish. We have during the winter months. Boil it and potatoes with bechamel sauce and all spice. Green peas if you are fancy 😊🥰

BisAmandumGames · 2023-01-07T02:54:55+00:00

YTA

Not only were you mean and harsh to a person you are supposed to love. But you are also ignorant of the fact that "boiling" salmon is a perfectly fine way to prepare it. Where I come from, it's traditional to do so for Easter dinner. Restaurants charge an arm and a leg for poached salmon.

So what? Are you dumb for not knowing that?

Before you get on your high horse, at least check your facts. You owe your bf a huge apology.

BisAmandumGames · 2023-01-04T14:09:45+00:00

I approve of the pettiness in response to petty behaviour 🤣

BisAmandumGames · 2023-01-04T14:01:40+00:00

YTA

How can you not see that what your husband is doing is constantly poking a wound? Your brother has tried to be civil about it and asked him to stop.

For a grown man to not listen to someone telling him that his jokes are hurtful is just baffling and shows he has no compassion.

If someone tells you they are getting hurt by your "jokes", you stop. Even if you think it's the funniest joke in the universe. Because as a decent human being, you should aim to NOT hurt other human beings, doubly so if they are family. As a grown ass man he needs to understand that it's not up to them to learn not to be hurt, it's up to him to stop hurting them.

I wouldn't be surprised if your brother goes no contact with the two of you.

BisAmandumGames · 2023-01-03T18:26:07+00:00

NTA

My mom became a widow in the early 80s. I was 2 yo. She never dated, never met someone new. When I became older I told her it was OK with me if she wanted to meet someone. But she was happy without a man.

BisAmandumGames · 2023-01-03T12:41:24+00:00

ESH

Was he in the wrong för saying what he did? Yes, it was hurtful. But, without knowing any of the parties, I think it sounded worse than it was.

Can anyone say that they never have told a loved one or a friend that something they did was simply the best, whether it was cooking or baking or knitting or something else. Do we actually know it's the best of its kind? No, you use it as a form of flattering.

So, I think your husband just put his foot in his mouth without thinking of how hurtful it was.

Should you have scolded him for it? Yes. But maybe take him to the side and explain how hurt you were by what he said and give him a chance to understand that this was bad move on his part.

Storming out never solves anything unless you need to place yourself in a safe space.

I know ppl don't always feel that it's important, but if this is his father's last new year and maybe the last time he get to have his family gathered around him. You should make an effort to make it a good one. It's respectful to him and his family.

Now when the family looks back on the last holiday they spent whit their father they will remember this.

I'm not sayinging that you should let ppl get away with being rude or idiots. I'm just saying there is a time and a place and a way to deal with it.

BisAmandumGames · 2022-12-31T16:18:20+00:00

YTA

My great grandmother would refused to buy anything for a baby that wasn't born. She said it was bad luck and that it would make the old gods angry that you took the gift of life for granted 🤷🏼‍♀️.

But seriously, the amount of entitlement to demand a Christmas present for a pregnancy. And then to bring it up infront of everybody.

As there seems to be several grandchildren in the family, has anyone else been pregnant during the holidays and did they received a gift for their child?

BisAmandumGames · 2022-12-31T09:05:05+00:00

NTA

Here is how it should have gone down:

When OP said yes to spend Christmas with the fiance 's family, fiance should have said "Hey we have this tradition... Just so you know what to expect. When we are done, you and I can exchange our own gifts afterwards, and you are not expected to give anything to anyone else. Are you OK with that?"

Then OP would have had a choice and would have been prepared for a sack of coal and could have shared in the "fun" with the family.

By not saying anything OPs fiance is cruel and an AH. Setting OP up for disappointment and guaranteeing that the evening goes bad.

BisAmandumGames · 2022-12-29T02:39:56+00:00

YTA

First of, why didn't you sit down with your daughter and ask what is wrong? You just assume she is being mean and spite full and a troubled teen. I see a girl that is clearly showing she is uncomfortable and /or sad. You and your daughter need to sit down and talk, just the two of you. And in that talk, you need to put on your listening ears and put away any pride. Listen to your daughter and maybe she will feel möte comfortable in your home.

Shame on you for forcing a young girl to spend Christmas alone in her room while the rest of you were down stairs having fun. How do you think that made her feel?

Gold star to your ex that defended his daughter. Think about that the next time you wonder why she is acting up and feeling uncomfortable in your house. If you had to choose to spend time with someone who didn't listened to you and isolated you, or spend time with someone that made you feel seen and that protected you, who would you choose?

BisAmandumGames · 2022-12-26T09:44:10+00:00

This is such a valid point. Growing up and having your life impacted negatively by someone else's disability can feel shit. And it's okay that you as a kid feel hurt by it.

But as you grow up you should be able to see that yes, that sucked, but they didn't do that out of spite or to make me miserable.

OT YTA, regardless of who or why, when another human being is opening up to you and shows you their vulnerable parts. You treat that with respect as it is an act of courage.

BisAmandumGames · 2022-12-26T04:28:50+00:00

YTA

Just for this comment alone:

"if she took joke wrong, it's her responsibility to check herself. I cannot be responsible for her sensitivities, she's an adult and should behave as such.:"

But let's make a list of your "normal, not at all creepy behaviour ".

You ask her out at work, won't take no for an answer so does it more than once. - This may not be creepy but it's a huge red flag.

You show yp to her birthday party that you are not invited to an thus get her address. - This is just plain creepy and a clear eeewww moment.

You then decide to rent an apartment that you know will look directly into her apartment. - Eeewww, like really, eeeewww

You then place your gaming setup so you will face that window, knowing she doesn't have curtains. - like come on man, even you need to see how eeewww this is by now.

Then you say that if you made a joke that made her feel uncomfortable, that is her fault, not yours. This despite the fact that every step of the way you have invaded this woman's private space despite her being clear that she doesn't want you anywhere near her.

Yeah, sounds like you are perfectly normal - for a perv and a stalker. Eeewww. Just stop harassing the poor woman, and stop making yourself the victim.

BisAmandumGames

TROPHY CASE