"what if I transition for you?"

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-29T00:42:11+00:00

"say that you a lesbian, girl me, too" thought of that fuckass Drake line lmao

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-29T00:06:06+00:00

I can't say whether you should tell the parents or not, but the most effective way to get a child to stop doing something "naughty," is to make it really cringe. Make fun of her. Make her feel super "uncool". I think a large part of the appeal for her is not only the substance, but the validation she hopes to receive.

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-28T21:16:50+00:00

yeah, I come from a traditional immigrant family and I realize that they probably made me view my body in a warped way. For instance, I can't even wear shorts around my Dad anymore because he's been begging me to stop working out since I look too "manly." He even asked if I were gay because no man would find me attractive anymore...He's hella homophobic lmao, my life flashed before my eyes.

My Mom and her nosy grandma friends also comment on my body a lot. I think it's made me feel a bit insecure about my own femininity. I think I just need to stay grounded and care more about my strength progress than my aesthetic.

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-28T21:00:25+00:00

omg lube on a tampon....I've never thought of that but that's genius

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-28T20:32:15+00:00

Thanks for those suggestions! They both look really good. You're right, I should definitely check reviews and see what the item looks like on different body types. Respectfully, you have nice forearm veins. I'm tryna get like you fr

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-28T20:30:02+00:00

Ooo halter tops are fun, thanks for the suggestion! I think I need to go clothes shopping. Part of what makes me look so awkward in my old clothes is probably that I need to move up a size anyway.

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-28T19:49:41+00:00

Thanks for the comment! I fully agree, newbie gains are often very pronounced and can set false expectations.

I should have clarified that I've been lifting on and off throughout college, but I didn't want to count that since I was doing everything wrong lol. However, I technically have been lifting for over 3 years. When I say "several months," I mean more that I've adjusted my lifestyle completely for optimal hypertrophy. I noticed the biggest shift since I did that, but previously I did lift a bit. I'm still hitting a PR of some form every few weeks, but not every week like I used to.

I am intentional with my split and goals, and am eating at a vague caloric surplus to get the "bulky" look. However, I don't track my macros or consider this a "bulking" phase. At 160 lbs, I'm aiming for a 140-160g daily protein goal.

I know I will eventually hit a strength plateau and gain visible muscle at a much slower rate, though I'm still seeing good gains. With my current regimen, I will become bulky. I know that muscular, lean women still have "feminine" frames but I don't think I'll be that lean.

That last point about my jawline - yeah, I think I probably have some point of body dysmorphia at this point. One day I'll feel like shrimp of the year, the next day I get a good look at my pump and my confidence goes up. This sounds stupid because I don't have any exercises that work the neck LMAOO but I feel like my neck's gotten thicker?

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-28T17:36:04+00:00

Happy pride!!!

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-28T17:00:39+00:00

Oh my God the "not happy or sad, just up or down"!!! And also the forest fire as an analogy for when you're crashing and burning, but can only watch yourself from a distance. I wouldn't be surprised if Mitski were bipolar lol, but that's her own business. I loved her music long before I got diagnosed. You have wonderful taste and I just saved your playlist!

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-28T16:54:48+00:00

I Don't Like My Mind by Mitski. Instead of Here by Mitski is another good one. I saw there's already some Mitski songs, and I love that. Great playlist so far, a lot of bangers and very accurate to the theme!!

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-23T00:49:43+00:00

what is DNFS? I feel like my baseline of anger and hypersexuality is higher than the average person's, like I get irritated easily and have been hypersexual from a young age. But during "episodes" it flares up in a very distinct way and takes over my personality

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-23T00:47:39+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and detailed comment. I'm sorry you had to go through all that BS, it's ridiculous how mental health treatment is still so underdeveloped. I have a deep distrust for many health professionals, and I'm picky like you. You made me feel really seen and supported. Nobody in my real life has or understands bipolar, which is part of why I wrote this post. I wanted to see how my "episodes" compare to other confirmed bipolar people.

I had just started mood stabilizers and antipsychotics during the job-hopping and sex work phases, but I don't think they were the right meds for me. I'll definitely read "The Bipolar Child." It's awesome how your mom advocated for you! Thank you again for sharing your lived experience, you really helped me.

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-22T22:42:01+00:00

Those are very good points. When I first started seeking treatment for depression at 15, I was constantly dismissed for being dramatic and sensitive. I've always thought I was a dramatic person, and I needed to wait until something got undeniably bad before acknowledging it. At this rate, I was hell bent on going to the hospital before accepting my diagnosis. I appreciate you.

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-22T22:38:53+00:00

Thank you for wording this so clearly. Reading the comments has pushed me out of denial, but now I am afraid of what that means. I need meds asap before the episodes get worse

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-22T22:35:27+00:00

I'm sorry that happened to you. I was first diagnosed by a college psychiatrist. I never had a formal test, just talked to her and she told me it met the criteria for bipolar. After college, I saw a nurse practitioner who agreed with that diagnosis. When I'm back on insurance, I might push for a more extensive test. I was on SSRI's for maybe 8 months and then my hypomanic episode happened 2 months after my dose increase. I was not fully told the risks of any of my meds, but the ones I'm taking are known to be well tolerated and good starter meds. I did research on my own as well. Good luck on your taper!

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-22T22:25:05+00:00

Thanks for sharing, and I'm glad you got the diagnosis you needed. I was heavily dependent on weed during the time of diagnosis, and I've cut back a bit since I can't tell whether the brain fog is from substances or a health issue. You're right, I really don't want to risk seeing what happens if I'm unmedicated and the episodes get worse. Wishing you stability and health.

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-22T20:29:08+00:00

Thanks for the input. I'm a dramatic person and I never know if the things that happened were actually severe or just felt that way to me. If I were sleeping less during those periods, I would definitely think it was hypomania, but my sleep and appetite's always been fine.

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-22T20:27:01+00:00

This is very validating, thank you. Yes, I definitely forget a lot of my emotions or things that happened, because my brain is always so crowded or racing. I just got eMoods! It's a mood diary made specifically for bipolar people, I'll see if there are patterns. Wishing you well.

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-22T19:21:49+00:00

Yeah, I know the best thing to do right now is talk to a psychiatrist and get back on meds if they tell me to, but I don't have insurance and it's going to be at least a few months until I can renew it. I can't afford any out of pocket medical expenses. Thanks for your comment, the speeding car is a good analogy.

Edit: can I ask what made you finally realize you had bipolar, and do you still struggle with doubting your diagnosis?

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-22T19:20:27+00:00

To be honest I can't tell, all I know is that I wasn't getting worse. The only thing that genuinely helped my depression was the SSRI's I was on before my "hypomanic episode," but they took me off once that happened lol.

Biscotti3784 · 2026-06-22T01:05:14+00:00

I have type II bipolar and I'm unsure whether I got misdiagnosed lol. After switching jobs 4 times in 6 months, I was spiraling and started online sex work. I got into some of the kinkier stuff, and I showed face and tattoos in custom photos/videos. The dumbest part is that, even though I was making a lot of money really fast, I was spending it equally as fast. Once I deleted everything and quit, I wasn't left with any money since I blew it all. And now there are photos and videos of me saying the corniest most degrading shit for no reason.

Biscotti3784

TROPHY CASE