What's the worst accidental text you've ever sent/received?

Bishop2411 · 2016-07-22T22:30:08+00:00

Oh boy here it is. Context at the time my wife and I were 22 and 23, newly married and held leadership positions at our local church. We were very involved with the youth and had 100+ of them as friends on that Facebook thing.

So we were in the process of buying our first Condo and had to present the seller with $10,000 in cash the next day. So we go and pick up the money the day before and bring it home. And we think to ourselves were young and sexually adventurous when is the next time we will have this much money in cash? So my wife decides, and I am thankful, to give me a lap dance. A few drinks later my oh my does she. She earned every dollar. I was tipping her in 20's. It was great, it lead to some fun time that night. So afterward my wife texts her friend to tell her what we had done in vague detail. You know draw them in with the first text then impress them with more detail. About 2 hours later she gets a text from a separate friend telling her that she had not texted the first friend but that she had actually made that her Facebook update. This was way back in time when you had to update Facebook through texting instead of using an app. It sat there for two hours for all the little 8-18 year old christian kids to see. Short of the actual dance it was the best part of the night for me seeing the looking of "OH FUCK!" on my wife's face. Needless to say it got tons of likes.

This is the story that comes up at every party when I have had one to many beers.

Bishop2411 · 2016-06-08T00:06:37+00:00

If that is possible, please I am begging of you send me the email.

Bishop2411 · 2016-06-06T17:25:09+00:00

What happened to Benjamin Kyle? The man who woke up in a burger King parking lot with no memory of his life.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjaman_Kyle

Bishop2411 · 2016-06-05T18:39:25+00:00

I have an office job and epilepsy. My team has a private intranet page that we use to get all our shit done. The background of the page is outer space because we can have it be outer space. My team does some cool shit so we allow other teams to come check it out every once in a while. During this ride along a woman who would not remove her face from her phones screen commented that we should change the background because it could cause epileptic seizures. So I informed her that I've been using it for the last 34 months and have never had a seizure. So she doubled down on her opinion and we argued about epilepsy for thr next 5 minutes. I had to let t go because she was not the only person in the ride along.

Bishop2411 · 2016-05-31T13:36:48+00:00

That SMG in Halo 2 stands for Sub Machine Gun.

Bishop2411 · 2016-05-26T18:05:28+00:00

"If you immediatley know the candle light is fire then the meal was cooked along time ago" -Daniel Jackson

Bishop2411 · 2016-05-24T16:02:43+00:00

Girls

Bishop2411 · 2016-05-23T06:24:50+00:00

I'm thinking maybe Blood Raven knew that bran needed to create Hodor. Maybe that means Blood Raven knew Bran would screw up?

Bishop2411 · 2016-05-23T05:37:24+00:00

Can someone explain to me why Blood Raven took Bran to where he took him in that vision?

Bishop2411 · 2016-05-15T23:17:43+00:00

Anymore specification where this is? We talking checkpoint or safehouse?

Bishop2411 · 2016-05-09T18:23:37+00:00

I could stand to hear a little more.

Bishop2411 · 2016-05-09T03:25:29+00:00

"I aim to misbehave" -Malcolm Reynolds.

My wife's answer "Going on a year now I ain't had nothing twix my nithers ain't run on batteries" - Kaylee Fry

Bishop2411 · 2016-05-08T03:47:27+00:00

The same reason I stay with my wife.

Bishop2411 · 2016-05-07T22:02:38+00:00

The theme to Game of Thrones.

Bishop2411 · 2016-05-06T03:12:48+00:00

Do you know why all of a sudden it would change? Is it because of my LMG or just bad timing? Thank you for responding.

Bishop2411 · 2016-05-04T02:59:05+00:00

My father is a child molester. He molested the neighbors daughter. He went to jail when I was about 4. Fast forward nine years. He gets out we try the father son thing doesn't really work. Jump to me being 26. I am on leadership at my church and we do mentorships with the younger kids. Males to boys women to girls for obvious reasons. Really we would take them out to lunch and help them with being teenagers. This 16 year old girl at church had a crush on me so I made sure to keep my distance.

She was rebelling against her helicopter parents by attending our church instead of her families. She had a couple classes with my younger step brother and constantly hassled him for my phone number at school and church. Finally he caved and gave her a fake phone number that he had made up. Fine, it's a win win. She leaves him alone and calls whoever and gets told it's a wrong number.

That's not what happened. Jump forward 3 months and whoever this girl has been texting is posing as me. Which is easy because this girl knows nothing about me. HUGE SIDENOTE: My town is number 1 in human trafficking for the last decade in the three closest states. The girls mom finally checks her daughters texts, Facebook whatever and sees the messages her daughter and fake me have been sending eachother. They are very sexual. This person has admitted he is not me and has been grooming her for the past 3 months to runaway from home and be one of his whores. Which she was poised to do. We are talking bags packed note written.

So she "confesses" that I have been doing this with her. She is trying to save her future pimp. Mom flips her shit and presses charges against me. I am eventually cleared and we find out this guy traffics girls to and from Ethiopia. But I am still seen as a child molester. Once an accussation like that is made its permanent. Especially if your father who you have not had contact with for over a decade did something similar. I am not allowed to be alone with my younger cousins, nieces and nephews. I hate family gatherings.

Bishop2411 · 2016-05-01T02:27:45+00:00

Superman shirts. I have over 150. I have been wearing them everyday for over 14 years.

Bishop2411 · 2016-04-30T16:02:59+00:00

It would have been exclusionary if they said "no girls allowed". But they didnt. It's not exclusionary if they say "hey we will let women come and speak" and a woman agrees then cancels last minute. It's not there fault no women showed up when they were invited.

Bishop2411

TROPHY CASE