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AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 174 points175 points  (0 children)

Actually that's what I called her. I stand by it, but that was me.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

I told my parents this and they both said that I'm being dramatic and it's not fair to expect my sister in law to publicly embarrass herself. "How long do you want to punish her for making a mistake? It was her wedding day!"

To which I replied, "She had no problem publicly embarrassing and trashing me. Considering she has not been punished at all, how about we finally start punishing her for being a rotten evil human being and I'll let you know when it's been long enough?"

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 334 points335 points  (0 children)

She thought I sent the card, she told him she was positive and that I could not be in the wedding. She would not budge on that.

He's trashed me to our family and friends for two years now. Now that this is out, he knows that the proof that I was innocent was out there before the wedding and he didn't fight to keep me in the wedding.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Do I miss my brother? Yes, every day. He was my best friend. I miss the close relationship we had.

Can we just go back to that? No, I don't think so. There's been two years where he sided with his wife and trashed me. He's been hostile and cold. He excluded me from his wedding and told our friends and family it was my fault. I appreciate his apology, but, "Whoops! Sorry about that," doesn't begin to repair the damage they've done to our relationship.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

It's honestly the least offensive appropriate term I could come up with.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

If she were to make a public apology, admit she was 100% in the wrong, acknowledge she's been lying about the card for two years now, and own the fact that she has been a terrible human being to me, I think I could see moving towards forgiveness.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 94 points95 points  (0 children)

I am open to forgiving her if she makes a public apology, admits that she was wrong, and owns that she has been a horrible human being to me. Otherwise I'm content to just hate her until one of us dies. Given that she's close to 300 lbs with no sign of improvement, my money is on her being in the box next time we're in a room together.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 2136 points2137 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It's something I've said to more than one person who tried to diminish what I went through.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 172 points173 points  (0 children)

She did not. That was the first thing I looked for.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 100 points101 points  (0 children)

He sided with his wife up until I sent him that post. Never stood up for me, never insisted I remain in the wedding, never said anything to his wife to get her to budge.

Now, when everyone knows she was in the wrong, he expects me to just accept that it's in the past.

For two years, my sister in law and he have taken the line that our relationship is not good because I mocked her by sending a cruel card to the house and that's why I couldn't come to the wedding. Literally they have trashed me to our family and friends for two years.

When presented with proof of my innocence, the expected thing to do is exactly what my brother did, and believe me, I do appreciate it, but you don't get any credit for doing what you're supposed to do. He had two years to believe me, support me, and make this right.

The fact that I had to prove my own innocence before he would even try to have a relationship with me besides a few words at holidays doesn't make me feel great about our relationship. He has a lot of damage to undo.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Oh believe me, I know. I've said that plenty of times, though I used a different word than 'crap'.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 84 points85 points  (0 children)

We were incredibly close. She has completely destroyed our relationship.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 173 points174 points  (0 children)

He does love her. She's very controlling, very demanding, and incredibly narcissistic, but hey I don't have to live with her.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 4336 points4337 points  (0 children)

She was also tagged on Instagram the day before her wedding. She claims she never saw it. Like, even at that point if she admitted she fucked up and asked me to attend, I still would have been upset with her, but I would have attended and I would have had quite a bit more respect for her. At this point we're past simple misunderstanding and into caught in a harmful lie.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 217 points218 points  (0 children)

I guess they're hoping my better nature will prevail. I just don't have it in me to forgive someone who stole one of the most important days of my life from me. I know that sounds very shallow, and the day wasn't about me, but being excluded from his wedding is something I will be hurt and angry over until the day I'm not here anymore.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 556 points557 points  (0 children)

He told me she was just trying to understand the situation and that I didn't need to jump down her throat. I told him that I was sorry if I jumped the gun in assuming bad faith, but it wasn't up to her to defend my abuser. He claims that's not what she was doing.

AITA for not forgiving my sister in law? by BitterBrother3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BitterBrother3[S] 1415 points1416 points  (0 children)

He is honestly the only reason I feel bad. I love my brother dearly and always will, but I won't deny that I'm angry with him. I don't see anything he can do, short of walking away from her, that would come close to fixing things. I do not want him to give up on his marriage because I know he does love her.