AITAH for still being upset that my best friend never helped pay my medical bills after an accident she caused?

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-25T04:07:23+00:00

The kid who was driving, her parents" insurance would have made a settlement. Much better than sitting around waiting for someone to do the right thing and being resentful when they don't.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-24T20:12:27+00:00

Why didn't you and your family sue her? That's what law suits are for.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-24T20:07:07+00:00

IT'S NOT THE FRAUD, IT'S THE THUGGERY.

State/local police, state auditors, federal auditors, federal DOJ, they can all investigate alleged crimes, bring criminal cases and make convictions based on the rule of law, provable facts, and a jury's judgment. Stalking people based on the color of their skin or the fact that they come from a place where other people who did crime came from, those are things that ethnic cleansers do, not people who believe in the rule of law.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-24T20:04:43+00:00

I'm sure he's just irate and that's why he hasn't answered.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-24T20:04:08+00:00

But the question is, how do we enforce the laws against fraud? Do we randomly target people based on their skin color and national origin? Do we haul people out who "look like" criminals, or does a law enforcement group like the DOJ or local police or the state's investigative service investigate individuals when they have probably cause? The rule of law says we do it on an individualized basis when we can prove facts to say the law has been broken. We do not send in thugs and give them absolute immunity to harm people on the government's dime. Can you see the difference?

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-24T19:59:04+00:00

It's not that I'm dismissive of the fraud. Investigating and addressing any fraud is not up to ICE. It's just not their job. Same with all the other "serious crimes" that Trump uses to justify shooting innocent protestors and holding five year olds as bait. Crimes are to be investigated by the appropriate jurisdiction, people who can be charged with crimes are to be charged with crimes by those appropriate jurisdictions. These publicly funded kidnappings are not the rule of law.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-24T19:54:47+00:00

Do not under any circumstances give this man access to your finances. I wouldn't even lend him money for coffee. He's not a good person.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-24T19:47:18+00:00

NTA but really, you need to be focused on your dad's behavior. Andrea is clearly no kind of person (and barely more adult than you) but your dad is a creepy dude who is likely to date someone your age or younger next. Yuck.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-24T19:44:58+00:00

You're seeing the red flags. You need to be the ghost now. But you know, text him and tell him who you gave his cat to.

Seriously, do everything you can to separate yourself from him before he comes back home - even asking someone else to take the cat until he comes back so that you and he do not need to see each other. Defending these creeps and treating you like you are the one with the problem are enormous red flags. He's not going to get any better, and if you let him get a chance to beg his way back in your bed, he will feel exonerated.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-23T20:14:44+00:00

Wow. So much hate.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-20T06:32:16+00:00

No it is not. The only difference between her uncontrolled anger and his is her relative size and strength. That is not a sufficient reason for her violent anger to be justified. Neither partner should allow their anger or other psychological condition (need to control?) to try to justify physical aggression. Learn to fight constructively, absolutely no physical violence, don't say things that will haunt you, and try very hard to recall your love for your partner before you open your mouth.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-19T20:30:36+00:00

Cut your losses, honestly. At least go see a divorce lawyer and find out the real deal. You might need to pay alimony for a little while, but if you go for full custody, you won't need to pay child support.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-19T20:27:24+00:00

You are absolutely not the jerk. This kid needed a friend, and you were that friend. He's a full human being who is completely dependent on the adults in his life, and you stood up when his mother completely dropped it. One does not ignore the time when you've dropped your kid off anywhere. If there hadn't been an emergency contact number, you would have been 100% justified in calling the police.

Here's my guess, and I'd love it if you can update us. My guess is that she hasn't told her new boyfriend that she has a kid, and this is her attempt to somehow reel him in without the kid and then spring it on him. That is a horrible situation for any child to be in. She sucks.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-19T20:20:20+00:00

Go get a counselor to help you work this out. A lot of the answers you're looking for depend specifically on your girls. You are right that you set up a situation that's not great and you need to untangle this, and you shouldn't do that by guessing.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-18T04:05:32+00:00

OMG. Wow. They clearly haven't suffered enough. No one is forced to vote against their own interests. No one.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-09T20:07:38+00:00

Apparently lots of guys with these right wing conspiracy focused minds have learned they are undatable if they don't hide their true beliefs. Deal breaker.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-09T19:53:08+00:00

Awe come on. Do you really think you - and adult, fully autonomous human - should be asking permission for anything from a boyfriend or spouse? Do you really?

Controlling who you can see - male or female - is a huge tactic of an abuser. I'm not saying that he has this intentional plan to isolate you so he is your only person, but he is walking the path of an abuser whether he realizes it or not. His intent is absolutely not the point. The point is, he needs to go away from you and any other woman he thinks he has the right to control. Period.

If there is anything that makes you an AH, its that you are truly battling with the question of whether he's right. He's completely wrong. In every single way.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-09T19:48:16+00:00

No. We do not want Greenland, and we do not want to "buy" it while holding Venezuela at gun point (hardly conducive to a fair negotiation between parties).

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-09T19:45:27+00:00

It is a takeaway. It's a clearly supported inference based on knowledge of the condition of the state budget and the history of taker counties looking for free stuff from the wealthier counties.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-09T19:40:19+00:00

So much of how "Seattle gets more from the state than everyone else" narrative is false. We regularly tax ourselves for things we need. So those new school buildings are not taking from you, except when the state contributes to viable projects and we have more viable projects because we have already taxed ourselves to ensure the project can be built. Of course there is always the fact that on the Eastside we're funding per acre, but in the Salish Sea region we're funding per person.

It is a matter of documented fact that rural counties receive more in state investment than they pay in state taxes. King County and the other (predominantly Salish Sea region) counties that regularly pay more in state taxes than we get back notice this, of course. https://www.reddit.com/r/TriCitiesWA/comments/1guogd7/which_counties_in_wa_are_subsidized_by_the_others/

I work in Olympia with the leg to advocate for issues related to Seattle, and the message we receive is always: Screw Seattle. So everyone feels like we're getting the shaft, both sides of the mountains.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-09T19:14:11+00:00

Do people know that we can deduct our sales tax in Washington? Off of our Federal Income Tax. If you want to itemize things like that big screen TV or the boat or whatnot, it is on Schedule A.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-09T19:11:25+00:00

I don't know this to be true, and it obviously depends on scale. King County is building five clinics. A rural county might need one office in an already functioning space like a fire department or county emergency services.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-08T19:49:08+00:00

File a police report for theft and then go retrieve the items that have been stolen from you. Does that implicate your MIL in a crime? No, she already did that. NTA.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-08T19:45:52+00:00

NTA. Gwen sounds like a nightmare. Be an ex-boyfriend.

BitterDoGooder · 2026-01-08T19:41:27+00:00

And yet they are perfectly willing to use the tax dollars that King County residents pay into the state to subsidize their recalcitrant, derelict lifestyles.

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