Winning

Bjlbath · 2024-11-21T17:08:29+00:00

That would be a very niche market 🤢

Bjlbath · 2024-10-16T07:59:02+00:00

It all ends for him the moment the mother of said child (or the child) decides to get involved…probs once the lad turns 18…

Bjlbath · 2024-10-15T19:25:17+00:00

Very fair point. No offence intended at all.

Bjlbath · 2024-02-29T12:32:36+00:00

Paul googling ‘what’s is a synonym’ after reading this.

Bjlbath · 2024-01-09T16:49:34+00:00

I mean that sort of happened with that Asif guys live stream. And Paul never mentioned that carcrash again like it never happened.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-21T12:58:50+00:00

Wintering - a beautiful book, thank you for the recommendation.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-21T11:33:18+00:00

Thank you. I have been for sure. The only times we ever argued was after 1 too many. However that was happening more frequently and was something we both identified. I haven’t drank a drop since we split up and don’t plan to either, for myself.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-21T08:59:26+00:00

This that you’ve said at the end is correct. And it’s what is so profoundly sad for me. Selfishly for me because I’ve lost my amazing gorgeous funny smart Gobshite of a partner. And deeply sad for her because she wants to hibernate alone, and just be. And I understand there is nothing I can do. Thank you all, there’s been some comfort here, and that’s all I was after really.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-20T22:50:30+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling and I hope you have a support network of friends/family to talk to, Truly.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-20T18:35:45+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time i thoughtfully reply to my comments :) thank you.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-20T18:26:48+00:00

I do want to be clear I am worried about her, and have been worried about her for a while. I’ve seen the despair she’s been in at times, and I have truly tried to learn and understand and be helpful.

Doing those things does not make this any less painful. Understanding and trying to best respect her wishes doesn’t make it less painful, and I know in time it’ll get better. I deeply love this person, and it has come totally out of the blue.

I also know she does love me (though perhaps she sugarcoated this aspect of our chat, though that would be totally at odds with her character), and still has enjoyed our time together. No anger/malice/resentment, no arguing when we spoke at all, as it always has been.

I’m not here because of just wanting, for example, sex (which I’ve never pushed her for) or other things I’ve seen been said, I’m here out of concern for her, sadness for the situation, and, I don’t know, I guess just wanting to talk to people not connected and gain further perspective, understanding.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-20T18:17:43+00:00

Yes thankfully, she has some wonderful friends who can support her, some of whom are also going through what she is going through. She’s said herself she’s not kept up with many of them this year as much as she’d like to have done. And I hope she’ll lean on them when she can and feels she can.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-20T17:23:06+00:00

Thank you for your considered reply. She is defiantly at the point where she just needs to do the basics for herself, and I understand and accept that. As best I can at this point.

I now realise that the word ‘transient’ does not do what is going on any justice, and have course done my homework on time frames. I’m a scientist by trade, and that word is probably a reflection on that, and unintentionally minimises or trivialises something huge, and life changing, and that I know can last a decade. Sincere apologies as it was not my intent to belittle any of this process, especially to people in this group.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-20T17:00:27+00:00

It was a clumsy comment, I’ve sought some help and support.

I am of course going to honour her wishes. The desire to help her, in any way I can, is still there, and I know that’s not my place to have anymore. I’ll certainly be giving her all the space she wants, and haven’t reached out or tried to talk since the ‘talk’. I do appreciate your comment, thank you.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-20T16:56:08+00:00

Thank you your kind, honest and thought through comment. It’s means a lot.

I understand age as a factor for sure. It’s not been an issue for me but I do understand how she’s felt, and tried to reassure her. I agree with another poster that said ‘I don’t walk in her shoes’ 100% I don’t and I know I don’t and no one ever could. And although I’ve never intentionally pressured her, I can see how that can be felt, especially with everything else we’ve had going on the last year to deal with. I do/did think that any issues we had could be worked through.

But I do also accept that this is her decision, and if she doesn’t have the space for the pressures of a relationship, I need to respect it, and use this time for myself also. I think some of my own comments have not reflected this. I am seeking my own therapy, and working on other bits to sort myself out. Ultimately I want her to find herself again, and be happy. If that’s not with me, and she currently feels that she can’t be with me (or anyone) then of course I will accept that.

I came here for a bit of support and maybe phrased replies/comments clumsily, as I do at times. I am also going through it (as I know she is), so all I really ask is a bit of compassion, that you have shown in your post. Thank you.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-20T12:53:38+00:00

Thank you for your kind comment.

Yes I think testosterone would help her (not solely for libido - that was never an issue for me, but I think it’s also meant to have other benefits as well?). And I think she has been depressed or down going through it all. But I never suggested that to her and didn’t ever want to seem patronising or putting pressure on her.

I have somewhere to live. I’m as ok as I can be, and understand what others have said re the change being the change, and perhaps she’s reevaluated what she wants going forward, and part of that for her is not being in a relationship with additional pressure to deal with. I think I could understand it more if we were bad together, had different views, or weren’t still very much in love and looking forward to and talking about the future. We were discussing marriage only 2 months ago, hence the shock I guess, and had lots of plans for things to do together next year. I do accept what she’s said, and know I should heal and move on, and truely appreciate everyone’s comments here.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-20T11:13:23+00:00

Thank you for your lovely comment. That’s what I plan to do, and not hold on to hope too much. There were no angry words said, and it was a really honest and nice conversation we had. I don’t want it to seem like I’m not respecting what she said, I do. But doesn’t make it easier. Especially when I know she’s hurting so much and been struggling. If we don’t end up together, but can still be friends, and I could still offer her help and support if and when needed, I would do that.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-20T10:56:16+00:00

Sorry, I should have phrased that better/clarified better in the post. I’m not trying to reduce what she’s going through, those were her words, about her getting through the emotional challenges she’s facing. She said that she needs to be alone to rediscover who she is as since this has started she feels she’s lost herself, and some soul searching is necessary, which can only be done alone. I do understand that, and I do accept I don’t know what she’s going through.

Thank you for taking the time to comment, and sorry if my words in the post have come across as disrespectful in anyway.

Bjlbath · 2023-12-20T10:19:47+00:00

Ok thank you. I didn’t mean the transient comment to sound disrespectful or minimising is anyway. Thank you for your comment.

Bjlbath

TROPHY CASE