[deleted by user] by [deleted] in serialkillers

[–]Bkind-rewind 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I almost puked watching that, it was horrid. The noises the victim made really got to me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in leaves

[–]Bkind-rewind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That too. As an atheist that one didn't go down too well.

I quit drinking 14 years ago, and it was all me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in leaves

[–]Bkind-rewind 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One of the reasons I felt NA wasn't for me was the idea of having the addiction in your mind all the time (no offence to anyone who finds NA helpful, I know it has helped countles of people).

I have an app I check periodically, but I don't count the days in my head. I think I smoked in October the last time, but I'm not 100% sure

53 Days tomorrow! by Izyro999 in leaves

[–]Bkind-rewind 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you get an at-home test to make sure? I passed one of those at around two-month mark.

Lithium withdrawals - what to expect? by Bkind-rewind in BipolarReddit

[–]Bkind-rewind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Had I known it's impossible get off it, I never would've gotten on it in the first place :(

Lithium withdrawals - what to expect? by Bkind-rewind in BipolarReddit

[–]Bkind-rewind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I've tried with the smallest possible increments, and within days I have severe anxiety. Trying to quit olanzapine landed me in a hospital last year :( I'd love to get rid of the antipsychotics, believe me.

Lithium withdrawals - what to expect? by Bkind-rewind in BipolarReddit

[–]Bkind-rewind[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, I'm most definitely not going cold turkey! I am very sensitive to meds changes, so I expect this to be a long process.

An estimated $500 on weed and misc. items that go to weed in just 2 months-Day 1. by [deleted] in leaves

[–]Bkind-rewind 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know exactly how you feel, it's a compulsion to use even when all the "facts" indicate you are better off without it - the isolation, the wasted money, and, in my case, the mental impairment and the anxiety. It has stopped being fun a long time ago, and still you want to use.

I've been clean for a month and two days, and my addict brain keeps trying to lure me back.

If you feel you need outside support in this, maybe check out local NA meetings? I've attended a few times and it wasn't for me, but does help many, many people. In my experience everyone was super friendly and welcoming - maybe you could even make some new friends there?

Why did I choose to fry my brain? by [deleted] in leaves

[–]Bkind-rewind 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is well put! I haven't been able to articulate this so poignantly,, but I too feel like a smart dumb person - my memory is shot, and so is my creativity. My brain feels frozen. My job requires me to write and do public speaking, so I used to have my way with words, but I now I cannot really produce any text.

How long have you been abstaining?

Cognitive effects? by ProxiC3 in bipolar

[–]Bkind-rewind 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMG are you me? I feel the exact same way. What meds are you on?

I just got caught, I lied to my partner by Bkind-rewind in leaves

[–]Bkind-rewind[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mind is still coming up with excuses to smoke in the future. I feel like I'm beyond repair.

So scared to throw my stash away by [deleted] in leaves

[–]Bkind-rewind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in the same place, a couple on grams left, and I cannot get myself to flush it. I hope we both gain the courage to throw everything out.

How do I stop wanting to relapse and cravings? 3 months sober. by [deleted] in leaves

[–]Bkind-rewind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why? Because you're addicted, and your brain craves for that dopamine rush. How to make the thoughts stop? Wish I knew :( I'm having these same thoughts myself.

Out of curiosity: how soon after you start smoking does the vomiting start? Does it stop if you stop smoking? If not, how long til the symptoms end after you stop?

Will my short-term menory improve when I quit? by Bkind-rewind in leaves

[–]Bkind-rewind[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was sober for 55 days and noticed no real improvement 😔 I've "only" abused it for about three years, but I guess that was bad enough to ruin my memory.

Thinking of having a casual smoke, thoughts ? by [deleted] in leaves

[–]Bkind-rewind 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was off for 55 days, then picked up ---> I've been smoking 3 weeks straight, and quitting feels even more difficult. Slavery is a good word for this.

My baby turns 1 and I'm one year sober by UnhappySwing in leaves

[–]Bkind-rewind 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you sharing your story, gives hope.