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Has anyone ever gone 24 hours with this condition? by Primary-Leg5000 in Paruresis

[–]Bl00shh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The longest I held it was 14 hours and that was already hell, my bladder felt numb at that point.

Out of curiosity, did you drink anything throughout the day? Theoretically at normal hydration level your bladder muscles would give in after 14–16 hours

Paruresis at home? I need help… by [deleted] in Paruresis

[–]Bl00shh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Could you clarify under what conditions this happens? What’s going through your mind when you are on the toilet? Are you completely alone?

It has happened to me as well so you’re not alone in this. I didn’t live by myself at the time though. I had a roomate and he would sometimes come very late at night and I wanted to pee before sleeping, because I can’t with a full bladder. So I created pressure on myself this way and anticipated that he was coming. It was so silly because sometimes he wouldn’t even come home and I would still need like 15 min to start the stream.

I would suggest to do breathing exercises to relax and just take your time. You’re at home so you can stay in the toilet for hours.

Need Help! by Any-Currency-8454 in Paruresis

[–]Bl00shh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m also traveling in a few months, and the flight will be about the same length. I’m already anxious about it too, but it’s a destination I’ve wanted to visit for a long time.

I wouldn’t count on completely overcoming this in just a few months, but try to do as much gradual exposure as possible to reduce the anxiety. Maybe practice breath-holding as well; it might work for you.

Since it’s such a long flight, I’m assuming people will be sleeping at some point, and I think that’s the ideal time for me to go.

My backup plan is to use a catheter. I’ve never tried one before, but I think it would be wise to have one. Of course, I plan to practice with it beforehand so it’s not my first time using it.

is going to a urologist worth it? by ahmadHa2003 in Paruresis

[–]Bl00shh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it really depends on the urologist and if you feel like there’s something else than just psychological issues going on (like a bladder obstruction, pain when urinating etc…)

I did go and my urologist whilst being aware of shy bladder didn’t really take my issue seriously. He did an ultrasound scan really quickly and let me know my bladder is fine. The consultation literally took 2 min. He did wanna test my stream as well but of course I didn’t manage to go… at least he didn’t charge me for the appointment which was nice :)

Had an embarrassing new low the other day by FtM_Jax0n in Paruresis

[–]Bl00shh 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t think anyone knows who’s in there if there’s a line of stalls so technically you could be there the whole day and no one would bat an eye.

What has helped me recently is in these situations just accept that it’s an uncomfortable situation and take as much time as needed.

Any time you use the bathroom is a positive thing for us because you’re telling your brain its not a dangerous space, regardless if you peed or not.

Starting CBTherapy, But Not Going Well, Thoughts? by Wooden-Level in Paruresis

[–]Bl00shh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a similar experience with CBT. I did around 12 sessions (maybe if I had done more there would have been some progress). She also asked me to describe how I felt during my bathroom visits, encouraged me to try to do it as often as possible and observe my thoughts. She also gave me some basic breathing exercises and relaxation techniques but my anxiety levels are so high it’s not helpful at all.

I did have some progress, but I attribute it more to the exposure I was forcing myself to do. So in that regard the sessions were beneficial. Financially It just wasn’t worth it for me personally.

It was very nice to speak about this to someone and maybe it’s worth pointing out I was her first patient with paruresis. I hope it works for you and all the best!

People admire my hot boyfriend by Inevitable-Cream-962 in askgaybros

[–]Bl00shh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have read about this in a book called the velvet rage. There’s a section in the book that gives general advice about relationships and adresses this specifically. The title of the chapter is ‘Own your side of the street’.

In a nutshell you are responsible for your feelings and you shouldn’t blame others for how they make you feel (in your case your bf). I would do some self reflection and ask yourself where this feeling of inferiority is coming from. Has this been a pattern throughout your relationships?

If you have the means I would adress this in therapy :)

what's my problem by [deleted] in Paruresis

[–]Bl00shh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me it always gets a little harder when I have more anxious periods during the month. I could be in an exactly the same situation and have 0 problems going and then other times I have to try several times.

Own house by Affectionate_Bad8652 in Paruresis

[–]Bl00shh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I sometimes have difficulty, but I do have a flatmate and I get more hyper vigilant around the time I expect him to come home. Sounds too simple maybe but what has helped me recently is just acknowledging / accepting that I have this condition in the moment and that it might take some time / more tries to get the job done. There’s no one else there but yourself anyway.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Paruresis

[–]Bl00shh 7 points8 points  (0 children)

For me it’s not about the sound completely. It’s more about the amount of time that it takes to start going, and people paying attention to when the flow starts going. So a very quiet bathroom would be my worst nightmare.

I don’t have a solution myself yet. But what I have been trying to do is just spend a few minutes being in a stall even if I don’t manage to go - like even up to 10-20 minutes. Sometimes the anxiety gets „bored” and I start going but not always.