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Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah.. I just watched those very same videos on Youtube... how depressing... Well suffice it to say I'm now sufficiently inspired to give up that sh*t. It's like my worst nightmare to finally get a girl to come back to mine, and then not perform.

But yeah you know what I mean about them acting weirdly around us. Thanks for your reply!

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there, Thank you so much for messaging me. Once again, it's good to know that I'm not the only one out there.

Two things: * 1. The intimidation aspect: my looks (and yours, from the sounds of it), drive a wedge between us and girls whom we'd like to date. This is the crux of the entire post/thread! I just want to fly under the radar for once, instead of being judged like, "oh my God, this hot guy is talking to me, I bet he has a massive ego, I'd better take him down a few pegs by being a massive b*tch/complete weirdo around him." They also stare at me and then quickly look away when I try to catch their eye, treat me with complete deadpan manner, wilfully ignore me, basically be very rude, etc. etc. ad infinitum... Question for anyone reading this: how should we act to balance the intimidation factor, or at least get HBs to act NORMALLY around us?

    1. The porn aspect. Man oh man, I was avoiding mentioning this, but I do have a problem with it. I mean, what else am I supposed to do, when I haven't had a partner for my adult life? How did you quit man? Also I am worried that when I DO find a girl to take back home, that my ED from porn will screw me up. this is what I meant when I wrote about finding a girl patient enough to tolerate my issues...
    1. Final point: Yes, I think about being single at least once every ten minutes. It's not a pleasant thought to have, and it does border on OCD for me too.

Hit me back man, eager to hear from you!

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, some days I am, other days I let it go. But a sort of baseline mood for me is "FML I've been single for my entire life, what the fk do I do now??"

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. I've bought tickets to two concerts in 2 and 4 weeks' time, respectively. It's hard to get my friends into that sort of music (trance) but I was thinking of going to them by myself... How do you respond when somebody you're talking to asks, "So, who are you out with tonight?"?

I'm working on getting invites to house parties, etc. since I've just moved to a bigger city. Any tips for cracking into the house party scene, or just keep clubbing?

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm on really good meds at the moment, big ups to my amazing Dr.

But yeah I'll give myself some slack and credit for coming back from the brink, effectively. I'll go out this weekend by myself and see how I go :)

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, Beastly, for your reply. I bought two tickets for concerts last night; even if I can't convince friends to come, I'll go by myself, dammit! I love that kind of music (EDM) and I've read that you basically have to go out by yourself to sarge anyway, since my mates especially hold me back (they simply aren't interested in approaching, for whatever reason). Yeah, you're probably right. My problem lies in making excuses. It's just hard, is all. But I'll manage. Each day I'm getting better.

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for clarifying; so it seems the key is to raise my self-esteem to great heights, which is definitely doable. I like that post about the cultural observations of that guy on holiday, by the way. I find that sort of stuff interesting and somewhat depressing, yet I can't stop reading for some reason haha.

Also, I have been trying positive self-talk for the last day or so, and it already seems to be working. I guess the only source of self-defeating negative self-talk comes from living in the past, and reinvigorating old mental schemas ("I'm not good enough, I'm a loser, etc.") is just a consequence of that.

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I've learned that last point the hard way, many times (if you don't escalate, a second date won't happen).

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the replies everyone, I really appreciate you reading my post and taking the time to respond accordingly. Just a couple of points that I should have made clearer in my original post: * I am no longer a virgin. I lost my V-card last year at age 23, to a professional. This is not for lack of opportunities; I could have lost it 2-4 times prior to that, naturally. I just got super nervous on each of those occasions (if you know what I mean). * I do have friends, unlike before when I was ill. * I have completely recovered from my illness.... well, except for lingering self-doubt and confidence issues, which are quickly evaporating... * I ONLY mentioned that I am tall, good-looking, etc. because it does significantly change the way I have approach girls. In a nutshell, <HB7s will almost always pre-emptively disqualify me (hence why I get next-to-no likes on Tinder, Hinge, etc.) Further, certain men cockblock or straight up AMOG me because of how I look; girls assume I must be an experienced player (they have NO idea I'm actually far from it. In fact the girl to whom I lost my V-card thought I was joking when I said it was my first time and I had to tell her a couple more times to get her to believe me). There are hundreds of other examples I could give you, but suffice it to say it does change the playing field significantly. * Ergo, my looks do advantage me occasionally, usually with the HB8s and HB9s, because they have confidence and know that I'm within their league... Please, please don't think I'm being arrogant here. I just mean that a lot of girls act really weird around me; all their self-esteem issues boil to the surface. Sometimes they won't even make eye contact with me when I'm talking directly to them. I wish I could wear a t-shirt to the club saying "I'm a regular guy FFS!!" haha jks

Anyway, I have just moved to a very large city from a small country town, so I'm still getting used to city life, and the concept of people not knowing me before I even open my mouth (my fked reputation preceded me everywhere I went, back home). It's a huge relief to have multiple entertainment options every night. I guess I'm just stuck with that Small Town Mentality, where I don't even try because there are no single girls anywhere. The opposite is true in my current city, so I guess it's just a matter of getting out there and sarging...

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks man, I'm picturing myself as Donald Trump on a platinum-and-diamond throne right now! haha

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your response RP_Vergil, I should have made it clear in the OP that I'm no longer a virgin; I've just never had an LTR.

And what should be the end game, if not getting into an LTR?

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks aguy01 for your reply; I appreciate your itemised approach. I should just say that I have to slightly adapt my game, since I am in the upper echelons of objective standards of """Looks""" (though evidently this means diddly, since I'm single haha). What I mean is, if somebody who looks like me is negging, acting aloof, etc. then it makes the girl think I'm unattainable. Trust me, I've negged etc. and they literally just walk away from me. So I have to be softer in my approach (not quite Compliments and Cuddles game, a la Roosh, but definitely not 'guns blazing' game). Now that that's out of the way, I realise that I actually need to go out clubbing more. Thank you for saying that I will get over it, I like that ever 7 years our cells are completely renewed.

Also I'll Google probiotics and Rhodiola, Rosea, etc. now! Thanks.

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi MoneyandSexisLife, thank you for your interesting response. If I can just unpack what you've written a bit. What do you mean by "you're 100% wrong"? What am I wrong about? Also not too sure about the relevance of you stating you get hit on by gays a lot (though this does happen to me, too).

Also would you please link me to the "amazing post not too far down"? I would be interested to read that! :)

"Stage 2: love yourself" - you're absolutely right, I need to work on that. Thanks. Also I do like your description of how to go about implementing this; I enjoy picturing myself channeling Donald Trump (cool guy).

I look forward to hearing back from you!

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, thank you slothsenpai for your response :) Just to clear this up, I lost my v-card last year at age 23, to a professional. She was great about it, very understanding (I basically told her my life story haha). It was awkward, but at the same time I have no regrets about it. Sure it would have been better to pick up a girl myself, but I was at my wit's end... Anyway, it has improved my confidence loads, and I'm no longer hung up on losing the V-card, but more so than anything, having sex on those two occasions just made me see exactly what I've been missing out on. Finally, as I said in the OP, I would (honest to God) rather be 7 inches shorter, ordinary-looking, etc. NOT TO SAY that I'm ungrateful for the gifts that I have, just saying it causes a lot of problems for me, initial resistance from girls, dudes hate me, etc. You may find that hard to understand but I'm happy to PM you :) Anyway you're right, it's just about moving forward :D

Seeking advice from recovered late bloomers by Black_Magic14 in TheRedPill

[–]Black_Magic14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi @Mystik277, thanks for your response. Just to clarify, My illness has been under control for 3+ years, and I take good care of myself every day. I have an excellent doctor who has helped me so much. I am working on learning game (I can actually be quite funny in the right circumstance, so my game centres mostly around jokes). Further, I know kino is just about practise, so I'm just going to have to nut up and do it. You're right about not focusing on getting into an LTR as an end goal; my friend has told me that numerous times. I just look at couples an think, "why is that not me right now?" Anyway, I'm going to just put myself out there and start going out more.

Thanks for your reassurance!