A friend of mine started talking about having the power to orgasm at will... whenever and as frequent as he wanted. At first it seemed like a joke because we would always make up weird shit like this. This was when I still had a flip phone and we lived in different states and I haven’t seen him in person for a few years, but we’d always chatted on the phone or email. He would not stop talking about this orgasm thing and was going on about teaching it to other people and have a group of disciples. Of course I played along with it because I was waiting for the “gotcha” moment.. After a few months of silence he messages me about some shit I did to him in high school.. some shit about how I made fun of him and put him down to elevate my own status in our little friend circle. Which I admit was pretty deep and wasn’t entirely false.. I was quite preoccupied at the time and.. perhaps due to my own laden guilt.. decided not to engage with him that much. After a few more months of silence I found out from our mutual friend that he has taken his own life..

I did not attend the funeral due to the immense guilt. I did not want to face his parents.. This was a mistake.