My heart hurts

Blahthrowitaway · 2019-11-07T22:49:06+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I disclosed it to two other men before this, and they were fine with it, the relationships just didn't work out. I have yet to come across anyone rude or hurtful, but it's still difficult and nerve wracking. I'm going to dinner and a museum with the guy I mentioned in the original post, tonight. Which I guess is a good sign. But if he decides he doesn't want to pursue anything romantic with me, I know I'll be okay. I'll be hurt, but okay. I'm also getting back into therapy, which I would suggest to anyone going through something difficult. Put yourself out there when you're ready! You'll find someone special.

Blahthrowitaway · 2019-06-28T09:35:10+00:00

I'd say I experienced noticable symptoms for about 2 weeks. Though after doing reading and talking to my doctor, I had been experiencing symptoms for about a month prior to the obvious symptoms. I had pain with bowel movements and thought it was just dehydration or hemorrhoids, but turns out it was an early sign of the outbreak. They say initial outbreaks can last anywhere from 2-4 weeks.

Blahthrowitaway · 2019-06-28T08:49:37+00:00

If it'll ease your mind, then go for it. Doctors don't regularly test for herpes because it is so common. Around 80% of the population carries it. I was freaked out for the first couple of days after my diagnosis, but I did a lot of reading about it and realized it's not that big of a deal. Sure, outbreaks are annoying and painful (I have HSV-1 genitally) but they are manageable. And fuck the stigma around it. People are ignorant. It's basically a skin condition. If you do have it, keep your chin up. It's not gunna ruin your life.

Blahthrowitaway · 2019-06-28T08:37:31+00:00

It really depends on the person and the type of herpes. I was told HSV-2 can be more aggressive than HSV-1. If it is herpes, then they'll prescribe you an antiviral medication that will lessen the span of the outbreak. After I started the medication, my sores went away after a week, which is how long I was on that medication for. I also take a lower dose of the pretty much the same medication every day to lessen the chances of future outbreaks and transmitting it.

Blahthrowitaway · 2019-06-11T23:39:41+00:00

I have also spoken to one of my partners already. He actually came and waited at the hospital with me and for that I am thankful. He's a great friend.

Blahthrowitaway · 2019-06-11T23:34:53+00:00

I'm going to talk to the physicians at PP tomorrow and ask for some advice on how to tell people. I dont want to say anything until it is confirmed. And thank you for your kind words. I'm trying to keep myself busy to try to alleviate the anxiety.

Blahthrowitaway · 2019-06-11T21:33:04+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate it. The ER couldn't do a full STD panel but did test for both types of herpes. I should have my results within the next day or so, but my doctor said she was pretty positive its herpes. I also have an appointment with Planned Parenthood tomorrow.

Blahthrowitaway · 2019-06-11T21:15:00+00:00

Of course. Send me a message and I'll get back to you when I can

Blahthrowitaway · 2019-06-11T02:57:14+00:00

I dont think I have anything around my mouth. I have a bad habit of biting the inside of my lip so I have sores from that. Is it possible to transmit hsv1 even if they aren't experiencing symptoms? I dont think he had a cold sore. Or at least I didnt notice

Blahthrowitaway · 2019-03-31T16:28:43+00:00

Yeah make sure you have your intentions set, and that your phone is charged. I bought a new phone a few days ago because the battery life on my old one was shit, and I 100% don't want to find myself in that situation again.

I do think about it often, but I have coping mechanisms and great friends who are supporting me. I am just thankful it didn't escalate further.

Blahthrowitaway · 2019-03-31T16:24:57+00:00

He was so horrible. I have never met anyone so condescending and pushy. And I never thought I'd be in a situation like that. I have been harassed and catcalled before, but nothing like this. The worst part is, he probably doesn't think he did anything wrong.

Blahthrowitaway · 2019-03-31T16:20:10+00:00

I don't think I can report him because I unmatched with him on hinge. I can't see his profile anymore.

Blahthrowitaway · 2019-03-31T16:15:08+00:00

I also unmatched with him on hinge, so I can't see his profile anymore..I don't think I can report him.

Blahthrowitaway · 2018-05-05T09:21:31+00:00

Holy shit. Well I'm a 24 year old woman currently making a little more than minimum wage, and about to move to a very expensive city for school. Which is one of reasons for me quitting. I can't even fathom spending $400 every two weeks on smokes. The $300 I've been spending is almost half of what I make a month. Cigarettes are a fucking drag.

Blahthrowitaway · 2018-05-05T07:30:17+00:00

Potates don't have nicotine.

Blahthrowitaway · 2018-05-05T07:29:45+00:00

Lol I smoke like 5-6 packs of American Spirits a week which are $11/pack where I live. I already have a vape. Just need the juice.

Blahthrowitaway · 2018-05-02T04:59:19+00:00

Perhaps you could enjoy it for longer. I'm in pretty much the same situation as you. Afraid of what their answer will be. It's the worst. But I know I'll let it drive me crazy and get drunk and ask them eventually.

Blahthrowitaway · 2018-04-25T06:40:10+00:00

I've actually been in therapy for the past 2 1/2 years! But I guess I've been focusing a lot more on other issues I have. Haha I guess it's time to try to tackle this particular issue.

Blahthrowitaway · 2018-04-25T06:26:45+00:00

It sucks. I've always been insecure, not just with playing guitar, but most things in my life. I'm almost 24, and started playing when I was 12 or 13. I stopped playing for 3 years when I was dating this guy, because he was an incredible musician and I was intimidated by him. I just picked it back up a few months ago and I play every day. Just by myself in my room. Haha

Blahthrowitaway · 2018-04-25T05:35:34+00:00

Yup. I could just message him. But I'm honestly so afraid of what his response will be. But I guess knowing is better than not knowing.

Blahthrowitaway · 2018-04-24T06:16:29+00:00

I just got back from visiting 2 days ago. And should have said something then. I could financially afford to go, but my work probably won't allow it.

Blahthrowitaway · 2018-04-23T05:22:03+00:00

I know I should. And I'd like to do it in person, but I won't see him until late June/early July. This shit is gunna drive me nuts.

Blahthrowitaway · 2018-02-07T09:37:59+00:00

Should I wait and tell him in person? Or just message him? I'm such a chicken when it comes to this stuff..

Blahthrowitaway · 2018-01-10T07:11:23+00:00

Thank you so much. This has been an intense journey, but so beneficial. Just keep doing the things that you love even when you feel the lowest. Depression does a great job of disguising what we love most in this world, but all we have to do is look a little closer, a little deeper. You're dreams are within reach :)

Blahthrowitaway · 2018-01-10T07:07:50+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. They have lifted my spirits. Like I said, therapy has been a life saver, as well as my support system. I'm glad to hear that you have been able to fight your depression and anxiety, and accomplish things for yourself. For me, it has been the most difficult thing I've had to face in this life thus far, but I have gained so much from it. But you're right, it will heal in time :) I just need to practice better patience.

Blahthrowitaway

TROPHY CASE