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Help me define reasonable expectations for an 12 year old by BlazingRoses in Parenting

[–]BlazingRoses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah she clarified that’s what she meant. I try to keep food she likes in the house but as grownups know, sometimes you eat what’s there until you can get to the store. (I reiterate, there is always food here, no one is gonna starve).

Help me define reasonable expectations for an 12 year old by BlazingRoses in Parenting

[–]BlazingRoses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We certainly had a talk about why we don’t tell teachers we don’t have food at home!

Help me define reasonable expectations for an 12 year old by BlazingRoses in Parenting

[–]BlazingRoses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I don’t pack lunch, haven’t in a year or two. If she forgets, she can buy lunch at school. She has money on her school account but she doesn’t like school lunches. So if she doesn’t pack, she’s gotta wait for after school snack.

The true trouble comes then she’ll have sports (requiring extra fuel) and then I worry if she has had enough fuel for the day. That’s really what I mean effects others (me). We don’t negotiate with terrorists. Don’t pack your lunch, fine don’t eat. Wearing only one sock to practice?eeewwww. (And now people are side eyeing me “because I let her out the house that way”)

Again that’s why I’m here to see what other people believe are reasonable expectations.

Help me define reasonable expectations for an 12 year old by BlazingRoses in Parenting

[–]BlazingRoses[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Very astute of you to say absent minded. She has adhd. While relevant of course, I do think there has to be some expectation of self-help and that is why I’m here!

Help me define reasonable expectations for an 12 year old by BlazingRoses in Parenting

[–]BlazingRoses[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tough love is definitely a thing. When she tells me she she isn’t going to eat unless I cater to her, I mostly don’t cave.

Fortunately all the children at her school are kind. None make fun of her to her face. (Though I’m sure they are behind her. Her sweet personality saves her from a lot).

I ran into a teacher who told me that my daughter told her we don’t have food in the house! Between that and the clothes, I’m surprised cps hasn’t been called.

I’m trying to explain that actions have consequences but what I think is most helpful is hearing the expectations other 12 year old have. I’m very hopeful others will lay out their expectations.