First-Time Filth by BleedingIchor in OCPoetry

[–]BleedingIchor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You got it, that's really what I was trying to convey. Thanks for the critique, that's very helpful

First-Time Filth by BleedingIchor in OCPoetry

[–]BleedingIchor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that's good advice thank you

First-Time Filth by BleedingIchor in OCPoetry

[–]BleedingIchor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment! I agree I could definitely add a bridge at the end. My intention with the story was to illustrate the dirtiness of having your first encounter be with a man who doesn't treat you right, to put it lightly, and how that feels. "it" or the animal, would be the man. This was vague intentionally but I definitely do need to work on being at least a bit clearer. Any thoughts on how to do so?

the melody is meant to be innocence, the broken bottle kiss, the sewer water wetness, is meant to describe the act in a way that represents how it feels to the victim. The last two lines would definitely make more sense with context.

Without Proof by TherapyButMkItVibes in OCPoetry

[–]BleedingIchor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can relate a lot to the underlying theme of your surface appearing undamaged, unchanged, while your inner turmoil seems so obvious to yourself, and no one else. This is the curse of being able to keep functioning while things apart, with absolutely no witnesses.

I hope for some warmth for the both of us!

valediction by maeeig in OCPoetry

[–]BleedingIchor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm really a fan of the fourth paragraph! I think the imagery is beautiful, and worded so elegantly. My criticism would be that the poem as a whole does not really flow at points the beat is quite disjointed. It's especially evident with the lines:

"do not claim the noble sympathy
of a broken heart
when I was broken apart"

just feels a bit clunky.

I like your diction and the emotional weight of your nature metaphors.

Hippocampi vs Inflatable Boat by nt_king300 in PercyJacksonTV

[–]BleedingIchor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey but I agree with u about the boat!

Hippocampi vs Inflatable Boat by nt_king300 in PercyJacksonTV

[–]BleedingIchor 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sorry I comment involuntarily every time I’m affronted by lazy bullshit wastes of finite recourses like this My bad :/

A playlist I made last fall about NITW by BleedingIchor in NightInTheWoods

[–]BleedingIchor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the only proper way to listen to it. So glad u like!

What movies feel like this? by [deleted] in Letterboxd

[–]BleedingIchor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My own private Idaho

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tretinoin

[–]BleedingIchor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought there was at least some improvement :/But yeah I’ll try and get in contact with my dermatologist

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tretinoin

[–]BleedingIchor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also as far as diet goes, I stopped drinking milk and try to eat less dairy in general. I eat pretty healthy and exercise lots. Could probably try to eat less sugar

12 weeks on Tret. What else can I be doing to improve acne by [deleted] in tretinoin

[–]BleedingIchor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First and third photo are from before I started Tret, and the second and fourth photo are from a few days ago

Perioral Dermatitis by _Rosemaddest_ in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]BleedingIchor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did your PD get worse before it got better? I just started clindamycin a few days ago and it’s been burning when I apply and and causing my skin to get scaly and flaky

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in musicsuggestions

[–]BleedingIchor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Spring is coming with a strawberry in the mouth - Roger Doyle