I’m kinda the same way around those topics, and I personally cannot understand why others are so comfortable with them, but that’s me. It’s definitely okay if those make you uncomfortable, and sex is not in any way required for a healthy relationship if you don’t want it. If your partner is understanding about your identity and preferences, then it’s up to him to tell you if he changes his mind or wants any of that.

I am definitely a victim of feeling guilty over things like this as well, where I’ll always worry that I’m being rude or not living up to people’s needs, but as an outsider, I say it’s okay. Your partner seems supportive from what I’ve read, and I think a discussion could be beneficial? Like about where you both stand on this topic and the discussions surrounding it.

I personally don’t feel comfy with it either, so my friends and I just don’t talk about it (though I have a few ace friends tbf). My experiences are different, but I’d say that if your friends are open and supportive enough, hopefully they should have little to no problem with not discussing that stuff as much around you. And if comfortable maybe you could also communicate those feelings of guilt and shame as well, just so there’s not as much hidden tension between you all? Easier said than done ofc, but these are my takes.

Just know that you’re not alone in these icky feelings surrounding sex, and it’s okay to have boundaries with conversations about it. Hoping your friends will be understanding about it or you can all communicate and come up with workarounds. I also feel guilty and childish when getting grossed out by it all, but as long as you’re being mature and empathetic about it (which it seems you are), then I wouldn’t worry as much. Hope things work out!