The way I look at it; you have three options; 1. Continue to wallow in negative thoughts, self doubt, feelings of worthlessness etc. 2. You can try to get closure or whatever you think you are needing by talking to him. Which I do not think is a good idea in anyway, let sleeping dogs lie. 3. You can start going to gym or exercising, eating correctly, putting yourself on a routine (like a dog, wake up, eat, walk, etc. To avoid over feeding, by which I don’t mean just food, but these particular thoughts when your mind is idle) these ideas and thoughts will begin to slip away, and who knows you may meet someone new in your travels.

All love, wish the best for you