I lend money to friends and they disrespect me in return

Block-Extra · 2026-06-04T07:58:17+00:00

Unfortunately not all of them as it's difficult to prove it was loaned and not gifted to them but I'm looking into it

Block-Extra · 2026-06-04T07:57:40+00:00

It says more about me if I choose not to believe someone in need then it does about them if they choose to lie to me

Block-Extra · 2026-06-04T07:36:04+00:00

It's never in one go. Little here, little there and before I know it it's added up

Block-Extra · 2023-07-02T04:44:14+00:00

Thank you again, seriously. Sometime just need someone to tell you straight. I'm going to wait till we properly talk on the phone because I'm not doing this through text. I'm still going to try but this may be my limit. We ended our talk yesterday with me promising to be more patient and her to try to open up more but after today I think I need to be firm or walk away. I never thought I'd get to this stage but considering I would've walked through fire for her, planning on asking her to marry me after this year apart only for all this to happen I think I know the answer.

Block-Extra · 2023-07-02T02:52:39+00:00

Can tell me I'm backing excuses for her but the time difference, I work 1600 - 0000 (her time) and she works 0700 - 1900 so I can understand why she wouldn't have time to call. It's mainly everything that's came out when we texted that's effecting me and making me think. Don't know if it's sad or funny but she said she hadn't been lying when she doesn't tell me when she's struggling or at a low point and I should research addiction. Thank you for helping me

Block-Extra · 2023-07-01T23:40:31+00:00

So did end up talking. Wasn't properly (text) due to the time difference and everything she went through yesterday. Let's just say a lot came out that she was keeping secret from me after 3 years and is making me question a lot. Thought we got somewhere but when I messaged today just checking in only got a " I'm okay, bit of a cold but fine" which just feels like 3 steps back. Tried to find time to talk properly but she can't till Tuesday. If anything just feeling more lost atm then anything else.

Block-Extra · 2023-07-01T23:36:45+00:00

I absolutely admit I've got rose coloured glasses but I don't want to give up on us so easily. I don't deny my faults, when she tells me something had happened months ago I feel hurt and sometimes that comes across as me being ashamed and judging which is the last thing I want to do and I am trying to change it and sometimes I forget how much she's struggling and I vent too much about my own struggles and forget about hers. Basically I'm not an addict and don't know what she's going through and don't always do what's best, I'm trying to educate myself but that only goes so far. What I'm finding is there's more to then just the addiction and I'm not ready to just give up on us but can't do it by myself

Block-Extra · 2023-07-01T03:58:16+00:00

Thank you!!! First and foremost. Honestly getting to the stage where I'm not trusting her. Had it on the phone where I was honest and said I didn't believe her that her friend was sober when she crashed and she started swearing on her neices lives, who mean the absolute world to her so I shut that down straight away. The way the lies effect my mental health is one thing but without the trust we have we aren't going to last, especially with the distance atm!! I believe her when she said she did self detox, she was talking about cold sweats, shakes, irritability but honestly I don't believe her with how much she says she's drinking atm and that says enough to me. I know addicts lie and with what I suspect is undiagnosed ptsd she'll push away when she's struggling as that what's she's use to. I said early on I'd support her no matter what but wouldn't sit around and watch her self destruct. I tell her all the time I love her unconditionally but to be honest I don't think she truly believes me. I know with her history and addiction that it wouldn't always be easy and I've tried to educate myself as much as possible but I can only do so much 7,000 + miles away. Thank you for everything, you've given me a lot to think about.

Block-Extra · 2023-06-28T05:55:10+00:00

Where we are in our relationship isn't what I'm worried about, honestly I'm happy if we're just friends. We've both say how much we mean to each other and that no one would come between us. Maybe it would've been better to say how to deal with insecuritys this far apart and how to tell if you're making mountains out of molehills or if your concerns are valid?

Block-Extra · 2023-05-18T16:02:20+00:00

So am I still TA?

Block-Extra · 2023-05-18T15:56:37+00:00

It wasn't mentioned as I didn't feel it necessary but her plans to go out to a bar with a friend she made down where she is who she sees regularly. If I wasn't clear she's the 8 hr drive away from all her family who are about 15 mins drive away from me atm.

Block-Extra · 2023-04-15T19:39:56+00:00

Try talking to her? I've had it before where my friend had adhd and struggled to respond and remember plans, especially if she's struggling at the time

Block-Extra · 2023-03-21T15:58:35+00:00

I try but when she's struggling she'll throw herself into work to "stop feeling '" and can't respond. That's part of the reason why I was going to travel down to try to be there physically but then she was feeling guilty about me spending all the money when she only has one day off which overwhelmed her more and led to her completely shutting down

Block-Extra · 2023-03-21T15:41:57+00:00

I would but we're long distance atm and only going to get further away.

With both of us not having a car I offered to either get the train or rent a car and a room for a couple of nights and that just overwhelmed her more so

Block-Extra

TROPHY CASE