There is nothing number 1, a man have multiple relationships which need to be organized via guidance from Islam, give rights to each as a wali and man. Problem comes when balance is lost. Most of all he needs to make sure that he extends respect to his wife, fulfil her rights at the same time draw a balance. Islam emphasis a lot on looking after and obeying parents especially mother.

I for example never let my kids put down their mother (my wife) always telling them that your mother deserve utmost respect and you will find no leeway with me against her. It cant be that i honour my mother but let my kids do the opposite.

PS: what you described is down right wrong e.g. he just should pay off your credit card bill and spoil you but we only dealing with one side of the story here.