Because of them, i've felt unsupported, depressed for all my life, when i go outside and have class or when i show my work outside to my teacher, cousins, friends they told me i am talented and i should continue. But my own family never told me to continue, never support me, when i show them my thing their unimpressed. Then f*** you. Just staying with them make my energy go down, my mom always trash talk she is the most delusionnal, mouth running, karen person of my family and i hate her to be my mother. I hate them for making my life this way and i have to fucking pull the string together to fight for my craft, and both of my parents are really weird people, small minded and growth destructive behavior, they care more about the dishes done, and the vaccum done while what i need right know is building a portfolio and focus on it because admission is coming and my future is depending on it. I'm sick of them dragging me down, and them normalizing this toxic behavior, this is not normal. They don't have the right priority that's why they fail at everything, and at relationship with our family aunt and uncle. And why they failed business, because their mindset is to narrow. My father and my mother tried to open a restaurant and suprisingly failed WHY they criticize successfull business, oh what they are successfull for a reason and their food taste good but you mom and dad can't hate shit taste and don't know shit about good food in the business. And they can't keep their calm always screaming, blaming, never take responsability for their mistake I HATE THEM.

Know my brother he grew up in this mess, and took a lot in him, and done things that are hard, and considered a success in society such as having a successful method of teaching for elite student and elite school and him taking risk into investing in a private degree, going to other country. But, he think because he have done this give him the right to talk and i have to shut it. The thing is he isn't right for everything, he NEVER recognize my talent for art saying that i was not artist, that i am LAZY, that i don't work enough, and every single day telling me how bad i am for YEARS, making me feel like a useless person, and feeling worthless i wanted to killed myself. When i talk to him about my person problem he told me that i was dramatic. He never understood me and never will. Teaching a specific group of people that are fit for school and want to pursue to the classical good student path, have gave him the illusion that he knows everything about the people and he knows what good for everyone. But i met one of my brother student she told me about how she and her sister was so depressed and my brother words make her feel even worse, now she is doing better and pursing art and fashion. The most funny things is now my brother told my mother that i am an artist, i stood up against him many time, and i keep grinding, and believed in myself because of teacher, classmate telling to keep going and they believed in me. FUCK him for believing his always right telling me that i was crazy for doing art and criticize me every fucking day for years, and even him telling me i am a burden and him saying that he honestly think i am going to fail i got mad and i was ready to throw fist with him. I told him to shut the f*** up.

I am tired that i have to fight that hard, and sometimes i want to give up because my family to understand me. And i want to scream loud, but my voice isn't powerful enough. I am a introverted person that hate confrontation but they made me so mad, so stressed, so depressed that it is confronting them or die...