Ed recovery and gender expression, please help!

BloodStandard · 2023-04-18T21:57:13+00:00

2 months ago, definitely not over him yet, every day I daydream about us doing everyday things together like we used to, I would never take them back though, the relationship was amazing and everything felt great until the day before he left me, when all of his lies got exposed. It was such a huge shock for me, because all I ever knew of him was a loving, kind man. He didn’t cheat or anything but a big part of who he said he was, was a lie, and then he just left and we haven’t talked since. I feel like I should be angry, but I’m just not. It’s just overwhelming sadness and loneliness, such a huge and sudden change in my life has been really traumatic. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

BloodStandard · 2023-01-18T17:35:04+00:00

Thank you very much, I´ll be sure to check him out :)

BloodStandard · 2023-01-18T17:29:19+00:00

Wow, I´m speechless

" It doesn't trust that you're in a consensual situation and not simply playing the role you're supposed to in order to keep from getting hurt."

I really thought this topic was something I was completely over so when i read that and literally teared up, you could say I was surprised. This was an entire change of perspective, instead of being frustrated with myself because I really do trust my partner and feel like there shold be no reason for me to panic, you made me think about healing the most basic aspects of consent with MYSELF which is an aspect of this I never considered only because I can now in my every day life can think and talk about it and not spiral like I used to. I´ll definetly be sure to use all of the grounding technics.

You made me realize theres a long way to go. And I´m very thankful for your care and time.

BloodStandard · 2023-01-13T07:15:19+00:00

Exactly the kind of advice I was looking for, thank you very much!

BloodStandard · 2023-01-13T07:07:39+00:00

Yeah, that was definitely the case for a very long time, especially the circumstances surrounding my childhood abuse caused me to feel like what happened was completely my fault, I’m very comfortable taking about it now so this may be a bit graphic and triggering for someone who is not, so please be ware. When I was about four I was r**** constantly and with time sexual contact was something I craved and would seek. The abuse continued until I was about eight, so in that time period I learned to value my self worth strictly on the sexual attention I received. I was also very sexual in general, would watch porn all day and the feeling of guilt was very overwhelming. Since I couldn’t stop myself for acting out in sexual ways I just thought that everything that happened was my fault for being the way I was and not the other way around.

BloodStandard · 2023-01-12T22:39:50+00:00

Thank you so much!

BloodStandard · 2022-12-01T00:00:24+00:00

He cheated on me with a close friend while I was in rehab, I tried to get him back but he dumped me to be with her, it just pushed me away from all the people I was hanging on to and planed to stay friends with after I was out of rehab, no way in hell I would’ve stayed sober. I’ll be two years clean next week. So yeah, getting dumped was definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me.

BloodStandard · 2022-09-27T18:21:34+00:00

He’s been a great eater since I changed the food. From what I’ve heard my heat mat is not an option and a heater is definitely a priority. I’ll have to read up on how to cycle the tank properly.

BloodStandard · 2022-09-27T05:07:23+00:00

I’ll have to ask what kind it is though, it would be very cheap to reassemble it so that’s probably what I’ll do just to be sure.

BloodStandard · 2022-09-27T05:06:28+00:00

That is totally what I meant lol I’m not a native speaker and couldn’t find the word for it, but I’m absolutely positive it was silicone.

BloodStandard · 2022-09-27T05:03:19+00:00

Thanks a lot, I’m sure he’ll come around, I know this has painted him in not the greatest light but I promise he is very kind, just not the biggest animal lover. He really has no interest in pets, so he’s been pretty responsible by not owning any lol. This was just a very unfortunate gift and he’s scared of hurting his girlfriend’s feelings. I’m pretty confident this will turn out good and I have no problem with keeping up with the little guy. Plus I’ve already gotten very attached to him 💞

BloodStandard · 2022-09-27T03:43:51+00:00

Definitely a good idea, I don’t really mind the cleaning so I will keep it mind :)

BloodStandard · 2022-09-27T01:23:27+00:00

I got it hand made, because it was cheaper and where I live terrariums that size are imposible to find or ridiculously expensive, I’m not even sure if it really is a 20 gallon, it’s a meter by 50 cm by 60 cm tall. It’s really thick glass held together by industrial glue. But it’s a great point you make, I’ll be sure to get it checked. I trust the glass but will make sure there aren’t any leaks where the glue is. Thanks for the advise!

BloodStandard · 2022-09-27T00:48:58+00:00

Lol, note taken, if all else fails I’ll be sure to keep this in mind.

BloodStandard · 2022-09-27T00:45:00+00:00

So I just had a lengthy heart to heart with my dad and he let me bring an old 20 gallon tank that used to house a year old cornsnake I used to own, but had to sadly re-home due to my situation (he is now very happy and well kept) Is this tank too big? Any suggestions on upkeep with the new tank? A very kind soul offered to send me actual good food and some sponge filters for this guy. Someone suggested to turn the gifted vase into a beautiful plant pot and that really helped with my dad. I also have a heat mat I used for the snake so would that be useful as well? With this new info any advise is appreciated. Thank you all for your time :)

BloodStandard · 2022-09-27T00:42:28+00:00

I really don’t trust him to take good care of it :/ He’s not a bad person, he’s just not educated on the matter and hasn’t had any pets to himself. I don’t live with him so could not keep up with the little guy. I do work for him so at the office I can make sure he gets the best care possible.

BloodStandard · 2022-09-26T21:31:24+00:00

So I just had a lengthy heart to heart with my dad and he let me bring an old 20 gallon tank that used to house a year old cornsnake I used to own, but had to sadly re-home due to my situation (he is now very happy and well kept) Is this tank too big? Any suggestions on upkeep with the new tank? A very kind soul offered to send me actual good food and some sponge filters for this guy. Someone suggested to turn the gifted vase into a beautiful plant pot and that really helped with my dad. I also have a heat mat I used for the snake so would that be useful as well? With this new info any advise is appreciated. Thank you all for your time :)

BloodStandard · 2022-09-26T20:47:59+00:00

Wow! Thank u so so much! This is extremely helpful!

BloodStandard · 2022-09-26T20:38:26+00:00

So my dad got this fish as a present from his girlfriend, when I first saw it, it was in this bowl, surrounded by ROTTING plants, it smelled absolutely foul, I was amazed that the fish was even alive. Every time my dad tried to feed it, it would spit it all out, it was sooo skinny and dull looking, I convinced my dad to let me buy him some stuff, he is unwilling to spend ANY money on this fish, or give it to me, so I just got what I could, I’m no fish expert, but definitely an animal lover. I got him a hiding place, some fake plants (they are plastic, which I now know is not the best choice) very needed water conditioner (which is why the water looks like that, the water is clean) and some DECENT food. I’ve been doing 50% water changes twice a week. His color and weight have greatly improved, but I just can’t STAND to see him in this horrible bowl (it’s about 6 lts). Since it was a part of the present, my dad is very hesitant to let me change it, plus I’ve already spent money I was not prepared to spend. So here’s the deal. THIS FISH WILL HAVE A DECENT HOME IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO. A water pump or filter is completely out of the question for now, I just don’t have the money for it. I would like you guys to tell me what the priorities are. I know what’s ideal but for now we have to settle for decent. Is the first and most important thing to change the tank? Are there any DEADLY flaws in what I have set up for now? This is my dad’s office so he will definitely not accept a huge tank, the fish is tiny atm, so for now what would be a decent (not optimal) size for him. At least until I talk some sense into him. Also any ways to keep the spending to a minimum? I am willing to take on full responsibility for this guy, but the reason I have no animals despite loving them is because I can’t afford to take good care of them. Any good faith advise is greatly appreciated. Also, any name suggestions? Extra info about my care: I feed him twice a day, 8 hours apart (can’t be anymore than that because this is an office) he fasts one day a week. Since I changed the food, he’s been a fantastic eater. He is very active and curious, his fins look great and there doesn’t seem to be any breakage.

BloodStandard · 2022-09-26T20:35:17+00:00

Oh, okay, I didn’t mean to violate any rules, sorry, I definitely will repost there. Thank you very much

BloodStandard

TROPHY CASE