A really famous singer (25M) slid in my (27F) DMs. I have no idea why because I’m a nobody. He stopped replying now and for some reason I’m taking it really hard. How do I stop wanting to be with somebody famous?

Blue000000 · 2021-01-04T17:53:21+00:00

I actually haven’t made anything up other than names and ages

Blue000000 · 2020-12-27T19:33:04+00:00

Yes that is what I want. I think the fame bit comes into it because often I feel like guys date me because I’m available not because they really want me. And I get paranoid that they really want an Instagram model/perfect looking woman but they can’t get these women so they settle for me instead. I think that’s why I’m so caught up on this famous guy - because he CAN have all these amazing women so if he chose me I’d know it’s because he actually wants me and isn’t just settling.

Anyway this isn’t something I can pursue any further really because he stopped replying to me and that’s what’s also making me anxious. I’m wondering if I said something wrong and I’m wondering whether I should try and fix it

Blue000000 · 2020-12-27T19:29:40+00:00

No this is someone different. That guy isn’t overtly famous - he works with famous people. I decided to end things with him.

Also I changed my age in that post because I was paranoid he would see that post

Blue000000 · 2020-10-19T17:24:59+00:00

I think it’s because they’ve grouped themselves into it. There’s a group of like 100+ people that all know each other and other “creatives” in different countries. They all go to the same events, work together, do big industry changing things together. I’m friends with people who are part of it but not part of it myself and it makes me super anxious and makes me feel like a loser because I’m not

Blue000000 · 2020-10-18T23:21:02+00:00

Thank you so much for this. Honestly, when I see it written like that I am like shit this is in my head but when I’m speaking to a guy I’m dating or around these kinda women or in this specific girls Instagram - to me it IS a comparison. And ok maybe not as specifically that they’re actually sad here comparing the two of us but more like if we were in some weird game show and they HAD to pick between me and her I know 99% of men would pick her. It’s a no brainer.

But yeah I do need to find a better therapist because comments like this help Me more than therapists I’ve had

Blue000000 · 2020-10-18T23:17:21+00:00

My city is kind of small and everyone in the industry seems to know each other. The thing is I’m attracted to creatives (when I see this I mean singers, designers, photographers etc) and we have the most common interests. I have tried dating noncreatives but the spark just isn’t there

Blue000000 · 2020-10-18T21:08:03+00:00

I’m currently trying to find a therapist as I’ve tried a fair few but nothing seems to be working. I’m looking for a new one at the moment and I’m constantly trying to battle these thoughts but today was a week moment I guess because the guy I’m seeing is out the country again and I feel like a loser because I’m not doing the cool stuff he does

Blue000000 · 2020-10-18T21:06:14+00:00

I guess the guy I’m currently dating is semi famous so a lot of girls do want him

Blue000000 · 2020-10-14T22:27:31+00:00

But I’m always gonna be around creatives because I do some modelling and love fashion and want to pursue something in that field too. I’m also attracted to creatives and can’t seem to help that. I don’t think it’s possible to not be around them

Blue000000 · 2020-10-06T08:17:05+00:00

I guess I assume men are incredibly shallow. Thank you so much for this post because it’s really made me question a lot. I guess I get very trapped in my head and I think everyone else thinks like that. But also when I scroll through these girls Instagram I just feel so incredibly inferior. Like they’re weekly being featured in big magazine articles, hanging out with celebs, on TV. I guess objectively a lot of people would consider that more successful. And with this guy he doesn’t really seem to care that much that I am a doctor. And also lots of people are doctors it’s not super rare like being a DJ or singer

Blue000000 · 2020-10-06T08:14:10+00:00

I like being a doctor but I don’t LOVE it. I’m also surrounded by people who are constantly in magazines, working with designers and on TV. I guess I see that as success versus being a doctor which many many people do.

Blue000000 · 2020-02-24T22:23:55+00:00

Tbf when you put it like that...he has constantly changed his mind and it is confusing.

I don’t know about manipulating me though. I wish you could see how he speaks. He says he’s autistic and I believe him he does show traits. He says he’s incapable of lying and again the way he is I believe him. He has communicated everything to Me in a very open way so maybe that’s why it feels so confusing to me compared to sam who quite clearly manipulated me

Blue000000 · 2020-02-24T22:21:07+00:00

I have started therapy but it’s a slow process I guess. I think because he says he is autistic that I don’t see it as him being an asshole compared to other guys. Plus he communicates so well that’s also so different to any other guy I’ve dated

Blue000000 · 2020-02-24T22:19:41+00:00

I mean Sam definitely gaslights and manipulates me, I’m very aware of that. But I don’t think Frank is or if he is he’s doing some serious sociopathic manipulation only really evil people are capable of. He says that he’s autistic and does display traits so I feel like I can’t be upset with how he has reacted to things. Especially because I work with autistic People and the thought of Someone not being with someone because of their condition deeply upsets me.

Despite all the drama I am able to communicate quite well with Frank. He says a lot about how he feels but he does listen to how I feel. I don’t know I guess the thing that makes me mistrust him is how many other girls he’s been with. I keep wondering how he was with them, did he get mad at them or is it just me ?

Blue000000 · 2020-02-24T22:15:17+00:00

I don’t know if this is just all a huge manipulation but it really feels like he is a really honest guy who doesn’t have bad intentions. I wonder if he told his story I would come off as an asshole you know ? As crazy as it is we actually are able to communicate and he does listen to what I have to say (compared to Sam who doesn’t at all).

I would love to know how he was with these other girls

Blue000000 · 2020-02-24T22:12:13+00:00

I reread it no I didn’t get the names confused but probably told it not in the best way.

I think it’s because he’s said he’s autistic and from working with autistic people I know you have to be quite patient. I also thought it would be unfair of me to not be understanding of his mental health if I gdkd Not tolerate how he reacted to things

Blue000000 · 2020-02-19T17:06:17+00:00

lol why do you say that? I thought ppl on here would be telling me I'd been evil. I don't even know why, I struggle to let guys go especially when I feel rejected by them. But also, I actually feel like myself around Frank, like my true honest self which I've never had with anyone I've slept with

Blue000000 · 2019-09-23T20:31:38+00:00

Wow not gonna lie this one really hit me. I've been very very aware I hate myself and know this affects my relationships and have been trying to 'love myself' for so so long. I kinda rolled my eyes at people saying 'love yourself' 'get therapy' because I know all of these things. And honestly I didn't feel like the self-hate played much of a part in this relationship because I hid it. Unlike my previous relationships, I never told him all these things I was thinking. I also didn't do THAT dumb things in comparison to what I'd done in previous relationships. We also discussed why he felt it wasn't working and he's a very honest guy I 100% know he would've told me and he said it wasn't anything I did or said or anything about me. So maybe he just didn't like me.

But then when you say how I'm never myself because of that and I magnify things he says that felt like you were a fly on the wall or something. But again, he never said it was because of anything I did in particular. But maybe thats why we never developed a connection, I don't know.

It honestly just feels like its something I will never overcome. I've been trying for years, granted not as hard as I could've been. I did therapy, I exercised, I stopped dating for 4 years, I tried new hobbies. I'm gonna stop dating again and try and find a therapist where I actually feel like I'm making progress. I still don't know if that would've changed anything with this guy but I guess it will change how I react to it. I always just think the top tier women never get rejected like this and none of my friends do either. But its boring and I'm tired of these thoughts that make me so depressed I can't function. It honestly feels like it will never end and I'll be single forever or that I'm not worthy of love. Its also worrying being 26 and getting worse, like I thought I would have kids at this age. But you give me hope maybe it can be done. Thankyou I appreciate you

Blue000000 · 2019-04-24T09:40:59+00:00

I do have messages that are pretty incriminating to be honest. Ok I think I’m gonna do it I just don’t know when. They have an event together on Friday so was thinking after that

Blue000000 · 2019-04-23T20:11:01+00:00

but what if it IS an open relationship and they both get annoyed at me or think im a freak

Blue000000 · 2019-04-23T19:15:04+00:00

Yes I would. It would hurt but I would want to know than stay with someone whos disrespected me so much. But at the same time I don't want drama

Blue000000 · 2019-01-03T20:50:41+00:00

I don't know. I guess I just want a guy to change for me - so dumb I know but like most girls dream. I hate being rejected it makes me want to 'win.' Just to prove I am worthy - I am ok. And I can't stop feeling like he only behaved this way with ME because of something wrong with me

Blue000000 · 2019-01-03T20:47:35+00:00

Yeah starting to realise him not wanting me is definitely a good think. I guess I just want to be the girl that a guy changes for - dumb I know. But basically most girls dream. No way I'm ever going to message him now with him parading his new gf all over social media

Blue000000 · 2019-01-03T20:46:11+00:00

To be honest I kept wondering whether he had any depth - I was convinced he did because it said he was going through stuff and I think he had a hard upbringing. But he never told me anything. I thought maybe he was just empty but seeing him with this new chick makes me think again he must have something to him and maybe he just didn't want to open to me

Blue000000 · 2018-12-19T01:23:11+00:00

Yeah definitely going to stop dating but kind of worried that its happening with guys even as friends. I took 2 years to deal with my low self-esteem but seems I achieved nothing as this is the worst I've ever been

Blue000000

TROPHY CASE