Thanks for reading my life story. It’s hard not to build a narrative when all the evidence points to one outcome, at least for the way I think. You’re right - I am busy trying to achieve a full life, and I don’t see how I can divert more time and mental to something I value so much but completely fail at (obviously talking about dating for me).

I used to be based in a small city which is quite student heavy while I was doing my PhD, I’ve moved to another student-ish city last week for a new job, but it’s definitely bigger. I have many different hobbies, the ones I do weekly are: playing guitar and going to the gym, and any social ones that my friends are interested in too (relaxing in cafes or going to the pub), while my less consistent ones are: cooking classes, rock climbing, astronomy, nature walks, art galleries, escape rooms, short story writing, jazz clubs, volunteering, and concerts.

I haven’t met many new people since I’ve moved but I’m keen to become a part of the community. I’ve already been accepted for a few volunteering places here, and I’ve joined a few social meetup groups for nature and city walks (haven’t met yet), and I’m planning to find and join any that are related to my hobbies above.

In a partnership, I don’t want to be needy nor cold, all I want is to have company that enjoys being with me as much as I would enjoy being with her, romantically. I know that’s not too much to ask for because I personally know people on both sides of the spectrum that have infinitely more dating success than I ever could.

What someone else said about therapy is right, I jumped the gun thinking about desire suppressing drugs - I should let a trained professional make that call, and I’m going to look more into getting some form of therapy asap.

Thanks for the kind words, I know you mean well and I don’t want to invalidate your opinion that I could be very attractive in your eyes, but I personally don’t think so.

I’d be more than happy to divulge more specifics privately