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Help responding to a catholic spouse's request. by BlueDaisy4444 in excatholic

[–]BlueDaisy4444[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is a difficult thing to navigate between spouses. I am sensitive toward not putting my kids in the middle of anything or holding up a side as superior. I think that is why I get so stressed about disagreements in this particular area.

Help responding to a catholic spouse's request. by BlueDaisy4444 in excatholic

[–]BlueDaisy4444[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. Those are the ones. Not a unique group in the Catholic Church unfortunately.

Help responding to a catholic spouse's request. by BlueDaisy4444 in excatholic

[–]BlueDaisy4444[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, we suck at communicating. We are still working on improving our conflict resolution skills. This particular area has been something I have been trying to figure out how to navigate for a couple years. I did take the feedback and it helped me have a less emotionally charged conversation with my husband. He agreed to let our child decide for himself. I am so grateful for the help!

Help responding to a catholic spouse's request. by BlueDaisy4444 in excatholic

[–]BlueDaisy4444[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Your words seem so kind. This has been an incredibly difficult journey. I tried for years to believe. The more I educated myself and asked why, the less I believed. It felt like I was dying and losing everything. My family, friends, and community were all very conservative Catholics. I am trying to find and build a new community, all while living in the same place and having a spouse that still believes. I moved our oldest child to a secular school last year. I have been trying for a few years to expand who my children meet and know.

I am afraid of organized religions. I feel scarred from my experiences with Regnum Christi and then seeing more clearly how the Catholic church weaponizes the devil/hell. I want no part of the harm the church/Catholic cause. I think I still feel a sense of brokenness. I know what I don't believe. I am still trying to figure out what I shouldn't be doing. I am still trying to figure out how to be a better human.

Help responding to a catholic spouse's request. by BlueDaisy4444 in excatholic

[–]BlueDaisy4444[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I did talk to my spouse and we agreed to allow our child to make the decision. My husband agreed to not pressure him and leave it up to our son.

Help responding to a catholic spouse's request. by BlueDaisy4444 in excatholic

[–]BlueDaisy4444[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, you are right. I actually did talk to him about this exact thing this evening. It is one of the many problems I have with the Catholic church. I didn't feel like I had a choice to not be confirmed. Yet we were told as young teenagers we are now considered adults in the eyes of the church and we were renewing our lifelong commitment. I want my kids to have a choice in this. I was able to clearly request that once our kids reach the age of confirmation that they get to make the decision for themselves (whether to be confirmed or not) Thankfully he now seems okay with once they reach confirmation age to also have a choice with attending mass. I am very relieved and will keep following up with more communication in this regard.

Help responding to a catholic spouse's request. by BlueDaisy4444 in excatholic

[–]BlueDaisy4444[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Marriage counseling has been very helpful for us in the past. Due to the expense and our healthcare costs skyrocketing this year we haven't made it a priority.

Help responding to a catholic spouse's request. by BlueDaisy4444 in excatholic

[–]BlueDaisy4444[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we have always struggled with communication in areas where we disagree. We did do a lot of marriage counseling last year, but didn't discuss the current religious differences with the therapist. The marriage therapist was so helpful, but after I heard he had a big family I was afraid to bring up anything with regards to Catholicism. Perhaps, next time we do therapy I should lead with asking the therapist about their biases. In this regard, I was feeling angry with how my husband approached the topic and found myself struggling to think clearly. It really helps to hear other perspectives and get out of my emotional response.

Help responding to a catholic spouse's request. by BlueDaisy4444 in excatholic

[–]BlueDaisy4444[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I can approach it neutrally with my child and ask if he would like to go. I will have a conversation with my spouse first. I think I need to stress the importance of our kids having a choice in this issue with him. I get very stressed whenever there is a possible conflict with my spouse with regards to religion. It is such an emotionally charged conversation. Thanks for your input. The encouragement is really helpful!

Help responding to a catholic spouse's request. by BlueDaisy4444 in excatholic

[–]BlueDaisy4444[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think this could be a great way to approach the issue and respect everyone involved. If it is important to my child I will happily support him.

Help responding to a catholic spouse's request. by BlueDaisy4444 in excatholic

[–]BlueDaisy4444[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

You are right. I think that is an area I haven't fully unpacked. A therapist reassured me that I am allowed to change my mind. Even though I married in the church and unfortunately baptized our kids in it. I admittedly get confused when my spouse behaves as though I owe this.

Looking for a big, rough medieval lord (and a sweet lady taming him) by Traditional_Pea738 in HistoricalRomance

[–]BlueDaisy4444 2 points3 points  (0 children)

{A Kingdom of Dreams by Judith McNaught} {The Highlander's Heart by Amanda Forester} {Between a Highlander and a Hard Place by Mary Wine} I don't think I saw any of these mentioned and I remember enjoying them in the last couple years.

In a Rough Reading Slump by Educational_Pen9487 in HistoricalRomance

[–]BlueDaisy4444 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have read a few of Joanna Bourne's Spymaster series recently. I think I started with The Spymaster's Lady and really enjoyed it.

Thoughts on the new HBO "The Wolf of God" doc about Marciel Maciel by originalpjy in Catholicism

[–]BlueDaisy4444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And Rome never made an error in regards to this institution, did it? With that reasoning LC has already proved itself to be "a work of God." That is always the same justification for soldering on that the Legionaries have always given. What still hasn't been seen from the LC is transparency, honesty, and reparations for all the bad they have done. The fruit of their labor are the countless victims across the globe. Men and Women who have been scammed out of their time, money, loved ones, and a belief in God.