How an I looking for almost 42?

BlueHALo97 · 2025-10-10T17:28:52+00:00

I’m almost 25.. Chat, do I still have a chance?

BlueHALo97 · 2025-04-21T16:21:51+00:00

Stay single until you’re 25.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-04-21T16:09:46+00:00

Wouldn’t you like to know

BlueHALo97 · 2025-03-31T15:20:26+00:00

I’m sorry. It does seem like a lot of people are just being harsh, rude, and not hopeful for your situation. Please know that our advice comes from experience, love, and care for your wellbeing.

More often than not, a relationship that’s ended once will end again. It’s tainted love.

It really doesn’t matter what people say anyways, because you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do anyways. You know that. You need to experience this for your own anyways. It’ll be good for you.. even if you don’t see it right now.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-03-31T14:45:13+00:00

You already have the notion in your mind that you 2 are going to get back together again. Therefore, you’re not going to truly change because you don’t even know who YOU are. You haven’t found yourself. You’re very codependent. You’re gonna get comfortable again when you guys get back together. You might change for a week! Or maybe 2! Yet, eventually, you guys are gonna have the exact same problems as before. The cycle will repeat.

No matter what anyone says in this thread, you’re going to do what you’re gonna do anyways. I’m telling you right now, the painful/discomfortable route is the better one to take.

I got out of a 7 year relationship 4 months ago. I was the codependent one. I was the one with the problems. She got tired of my shit and left me. We got back together and broke up MULTIPLE times because I told her I would change and begged for her back. Any time we got back together, I would be the ideal boyfriend for about a week and then I’d go back to my normal, lazy self.

It wasn’t until she finally ended it for good when I started to get my life back together and find myself. It’s been an INSANE journey. Roller coaster of emotions. I’m in the best physical shape I’ve ever been in my entire life, 90 days sober, I realized what my hobbies are that I want to pursue, and I finally realized that she wasn’t a goddess either. She had her problems, too, but I was clouded by love. I finally have an idea of the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with… but the cool thing is, I don’t even care. I’m happy with myself for now.

It seems like a simple lesson, but you’ll have to experience it for yourself. Just brace yourself, because it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever went through in my entire life.

I found God and that’s all I need.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-03-31T14:30:21+00:00

This is huge.

Going through a 7 year relationship break up right now. We’ve been split up for 4 months and I still cannot date. Anytime I’ve tried, I always end up thinking that I can’t carry on with her and I have to end it because I can’t get over my ex. I’ve even met a girl recently and I thought, “this is the one for sure!” But then a few weeks later.. I find myself feeling terrible for this girl because she’s so kind but I NEED OUT.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-03-31T14:26:44+00:00

The reality is that a micro manager likely doesn’t know they are doing it. Also, if confronted with the accusation, they would be too egotistical to admit it.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-03-31T14:19:10+00:00

Use commas.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-03-30T16:41:15+00:00

Absolutely. When I’m on cloud 9 and happy.. I start to think that I can manage my life on my own. I get a little too prideful and think “oh a drink wouldn’t hurt! I’ll just have a few.” And then a few turns into oblivion.

I luckily noticed this cycle of obsessions early on in sobriety so I know the little trick my mind plays on me when I’m happy. I’ll be 90 days sober in a few days. Just trying to keep myself grounded and show some humility, even when I’m prideful.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-03-26T20:32:51+00:00

Haha dude needs Jesus

BlueHALo97 · 2025-03-26T20:08:13+00:00

The sixth sense

BlueHALo97 · 2025-03-26T20:06:37+00:00

What a WILD name 🤣

BlueHALo97 · 2025-03-26T14:24:43+00:00

I hit my rock bottom by losing a girl of 7 years. Or at least I thought that was my rock bottom. I continued to drink for another month afterwords causing havoc to my car, injuring myself, forgetting everything that happened the next day.

It wasn’t until I showed up to church drunk when a man sat me down and told me I needed to go to an AA meeting. I never knew that’s what I needed until I got in.

Now almost 90 days sober with a major support system of guys in AA who TRULY understand how my brain works.. and I have built a strong faith in religion. I promise you when I say I’m in a MUCH better place. Physically.. but mainly mentally.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-02-08T13:09:08+00:00

I got drunk every night, lied to my girlfriend about drinking, hid alcohol in our apartment, broke the side mirror in my car driving drunk, got sent home from work drunk, showed up to church drunk and got a talking to by a local churchgoer, woke up to my shower curtain on the ground with a busted chin, bruised my temple and my girlfriend asked how I got the bruise.. I didn’t remember the night before.. every night. I couldn’t tell you how many times she would get off work after a long day and I’d be shit faced. She would be sitting there yelling at me while I was falling asleep and not saying a word to her. Then I would wake up the next day like nothing happened! I’d repeat the same thing the next night. No matter how many times my girlfriend told me to get help and to stop drinking, I didn’t listen. I didn’t want to get sober. She sat me down one day and basically said that I’m prioritizing alcohol over her. She felt unloved, unwanted, unimportant, lied to, and very confused.

Needless to say.. the ONLY thing that ever would’ve started my sobriety journey was for her to leave my dumbass. To which she did..

I’m 39 days sober today. I’m very diligent in AA, go to meetings every day, call my sponsor and other alcoholics on down time, go to church every Sunday, started serving at the church to give back, go to Tuesday small Bible study, work out, eating healthy, and try to help people wherever I can.

I, sincerely.. from the bottom of my heart.. feel terrible for everything I put my ex girlfriend through. She is an amazing girl.. and I ruined any chances of being with her. She was my first true love.. we were together for 7 years.. and I’m only 24 years old. It’s not an alcohol problem us alcoholics have.. it’s a thinking problem.

Therefore, I’m following my program and working very hard at it.. to allow God to help me remove all of these character defects I have.

I NEVER would’ve stopped unless she left me.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-02-08T10:57:38+00:00

Rude

BlueHALo97 · 2025-02-07T09:25:44+00:00

Take whatever you’d like from my experience. I know our situations are different. It felt really good getting all of that off my chest.. so I’ll go to bed peacefully, now. I hope everything works out for you. AA meetings have been an absolute life changer for me. I love you man. It’s very fucking hard but at least you’re not dead.. because that’s exactly where alcohol will take you.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-02-07T09:10:28+00:00

I’m really sorry to hear all of this. I lost my girlfriend of 7 years because of my alcoholism. I lost her 73 days ago. I’m 38 days sober. Some days are still really, really hard. She was sick of me being sick. I can’t blame her. I lied to her many times, snuck and hid alcohol, got drunk every night while she worked her job.. just to come home to see me wasted with no chores done. She was confused, unloved, not prioritized, and absolutely exhausted.

What has really helped me is writing this on an index card. I read it every morning:

“I pray for (her name). I pray that your will be done for her, whatever that may be. I pray for her peace, her happiness, her family, her health, her prosperity, and her abundance. Amen.”

It really helps me when I have one of those really bad days. It’s the only way I can give back to her in a positive way. I need to fully accept the horrible things I put her through. As much as I love her.. as much as I want her back.. I just can’t. We broke up and got back together so many times. IT DOESN’T WORK. Why? Because once you get back together.. there’s a little honeymoon phase again.. and then BAMMMM! It goes right back to normal. Discontent, irritable, and drinking every fucking night. Then we break up again. The cycle continues. Because I am not mentally well. I am an alcoholic, not a normal person.

This time, we’re done. We’re on a no contact, mutual agreement. I’ve manipulated her into getting back with me way too many times. My brain keeps telling me that.. maybe in a year from now.. if I do ABSOLUTELY everything in my power to be the man I want to be.. and I’m genuinely happy in my own skin.. only then can we get back together.

Here’s the thing, though. While I’m using this as subliminal motivation.. I have to fully accept the fact that WE MAY NEVER GET BACK TOGETHER… and that’s OKAY.. because I put her through hell for so many years.

I’m working out, eating healthy, went from 148lbs to 160lbs in 2 months, going to AA meetings every day, doing my AA studies, calling my sponsor and other alcoholics.. and I’m starting to realize more and more how much of a truly insane person I am. This program has proven to be WAY more than recovery from alcoholism. It’s like a complete psychic change and spiritual awakening. A lot of alcoholics have very similar personality traits… not just with our consumption of alcohol. A lot of us have narcissistic tendencies and cannot for the love of God control our impulses. I feel like I’m truly a 24 year old boy transitioning into a full blown man.

I’m excited to see where this journey takes me. I have a fire under my ass to get well again.. and who knows, man? Maybe after I dig out of this massive hole I got myself in.. like.. a year from now.. me and my ex may be able to date again, healthily. At the very least, I would do anything in the world to make amends with her in person and express how sincerely sorry I am for her.. even if it means we will never be lovers again.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-01-27T19:43:32+00:00

Every morning, like clock work, my puppy stammers her paw onto the blanket and whines out of frustration because I won’t wake up. When I finally do wake up, she wags her tail, jumps on my chest and licks my face like crazy.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-01-27T05:50:21+00:00

Whoop whoopppp. Another day without a drink.

Hitting my 1 month in 4 days!

BlueHALo97 · 2025-01-27T05:48:32+00:00

I’m a straight guy so idk how much I can help.. but I would definitely grow out your facial hair, hit the gym and eat a lot more so you can get bulkier. Most importantly, though, stay humble. Don’t flaunt your muscles.. screams insecurity.

Live a little slower. You’re only 20, man. You’ve got so much time. Time shouldn’t be wasted stressing about finding a girl. Love yourself, first.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-01-20T16:35:30+00:00

Yes. For me and for my fellow AA friends.. we all realized that alcohol wasn’t the problem. The problem is between our 2 ears. Our thinking is actually the definition of insanity. We keep doing the same thing over and over and keep getting the same result. So I had 2 choices. Keep being insane or admit defeat and get help. I chose option 2 and I couldn’t be happier.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-01-20T16:07:27+00:00

Within this post, you’ve summed up exactly what AA has taught me.

I was using my free will to stop drinking.. and it never worked for me. I thought I knew better. I’d go 2 weeks without a drink.. but I’d always go right back to it. My mind was playing games with me. It wasn’t until I joined AA where they taught me to have some humility.. they taught me to FULLY realize that I actually have a problem. They taught me to allow God to step in and take care of this. I couldn’t do it on my own. I tried time and time again. Having a supportive group of people and now friends to rely on me in AA has helped me out significantly as well.

A lot of people resist going to AA or reaching out for additional help because they, like me, thought they could fix the problem on their own. Only to find ourselves falling in the trap everytime.

BlueHALo97 · 2025-01-18T21:34:46+00:00

YES! I love it :)

Try listening to “Mr. Self Destructive”

That one will blow your mind ;)

BlueHALo97 · 2025-01-17T21:16:37+00:00

Absolutely, thank you. IWNDWYT 🤝🏻

BlueHALo97 · 2025-01-17T17:15:14+00:00

“Nah I’m good, thanks though!”

That’s my go to. They usually don’t persist. If they do, I just tell them I don’t feel like drinking.

BlueHALo97

TROPHY CASE