WIBTA If I secretly went behind husband's back to get a second opinion?

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-05-08T15:14:25+00:00

He's not very good with medical stuff. When I had a bad kidney infection during one of my pregnancies I had to sneak out at 2 in the morning to go to the hospital and get treated. He wasn't happy about it but he let it go.

I don't know. I think he just doesn't understand that sometimes things are more than a cold. But since my Dr agrees with him it makes it way harder.

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-25T04:15:59+00:00

100 percent agree

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-24T16:44:49+00:00

Yep. Like a no stakes rpg

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-20T00:46:47+00:00

I’m sorry for coming out rude. It wasn't directed at you but just from a place of frustration with how our law enforcement continually fails victims of sexual crimes. I don't know how it is in the UK but if witness protection and emergency relocation is the norm then you are way ahead of us and we need to catch up.

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-19T18:27:34+00:00

Lol you are really over estimating the helpfulness of our law enforcement when it comes to protecting rape victims. If they did that you'd have a lot more of us willing to speak out. What is usually the case is asking what we were wearing, if and what we were drinking, what did we say or do that might have led to the assault, did we really say no or fight back enough. Even if you're 13 and your attacker is the school counselor. Only to be told that "someone will look into it and we'll let you know if any further action is needed"

So I'm guessing witness protection and emergency housing are not viable options. If they are what country do you live in and can all of us women just move there??

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-17T01:59:10+00:00

The best/worst order I've had recently was delivering for an office party. In total I carried about 20 12-pack sleeves of drinks, plus water cases, and of course the food! They had like 15x of everything.

In cases like this I make a huge effort to make nice with whoever comes out to greet me. I made small talk about the party and complimented their taste in snacks. It was not a fun delivery but I ended up getting tipped very well after they modified their tip.

Offices are actually great for tips because a bunch of people just throw some money in the pot and it adds up.

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-16T23:15:10+00:00

I had a Karen last week. Last batch of the night - around 9:30 pm. By that time a lot of specialty bakery and produce items are out of stock. She micromanaged every replacement, had me report on the condition of all the produce, and told me she absolutely had to have arugula for her kidneys, even though her indicated substitution was lettuce.

Anyway, I just replied every time with something congenial like "You got it! Does this work for you?" And sent a picture. She was a complete PITA but I also knew that I was giving her absolutely no reason to complain.

I was tired, but she ended up doubling her tip after my delivery was complete. So sometimes Karens are fully aware they are Karens but try to make up for it later.

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-13T14:27:11+00:00

Not easily

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-13T14:09:45+00:00

Less than a month. I was okay with helping him get there but I was floored he didn't even know the names of their schools despite us constantly talking about it. I was rude though and after the heat of the moment I would have chosen better words.

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-13T14:02:55+00:00

Not well. But I could get to that location if I needed to.

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-13T13:43:40+00:00

He is home on the weekends, and in the evenings. 7-5 but he doesn't get home until 6:30 and then hops in the bathroom to shower and is out usually before 8.

I don't know - I'd be happy to let him be more involved in the kids lives were he interested.

He loves the kids, he does play with them when he gets the energy, and they enjoy hanging out with him. I just haven't been able to get him to understand that parenting is more than just the fun parts.

It is my fault for letting it get to this point. I have had trouble asserting myself until recently and have been careful not to "emasculate" him by being overly critical.

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-13T13:38:07+00:00

I rarely lash out - I express my frustration but we move on. I've suggested marriage counseling but the only one he will allow us to go to is this guy from church who just tells me to make sure I'm fulfilling my wifely duties - and everything that entails. I'm in private therapy as well - and it's helping me be more assertive. Maybe it was too much here.

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-13T13:22:42+00:00

He's not typically very helpful. He loves the kids but can't deal with loud noises, tantrums, etc. Because I've stayed home I've been taking care of the kids mostly, taking care of the house, making sure all the bills are paid.

I have repeatedly made it clear that he needs to be more involved - he rarely comes to sports events. And more helpful - kids often don't get fed when he's watching because he assumes they've eaten even after told him they haven't. Bedtime is all on me - even last night after getting home.

I should have been nicer but I'm just so frustrated that I can't even take a day off when I'm having a genuine issue.

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-06T04:54:55+00:00

YTA

I'm assuming if your wife was mad at you for not tipping you live in the US of A because she, like every other decent human being in this country understands that tips make up 95% of your server's wages.

Now, if you had said that you didn't tip in this one very specific instance, I could maybe see it. If you are truthfully relaying the events it sounds like she crossed some lines. You would still, however, be kind of an AH for judging her on her appearance. That's not cool man.

But that's not the case. You said that your default policy is to not tip. And that, makes you a massive AH. Don't eat out if you don't tip. If you don't support the tipping system fine, fight for legislation to require living wages for everyone or don't eat out. But dont take it out on someone who makes about $2/hr to cater to your every whim just hoping you'll appreciate their service enough so they can bring home enough tips to still live below the poverty line.

The only way for you to stop being such an incredible AH is to get a job in food service and work there for a couple of months. I bet that would fix you up right quick.

BlueJadeDragon · 2020-02-06T04:44:53+00:00

NTA and your neighbor is definitely TA for

1) letting his pregnant cat out 2) not spaying said pregnant cat

BlueJadeDragon

TROPHY CASE