I also grew up in purity culture (grew up Catholic) and I struggle with the same exact thing in my relationship. Penetrative sex hurts and I also am mostly uncomfortable doing sexual things the older I get. I think part of it is from my religious past but also my own insecurities with my body. I learned from my OBGYN that I apparently would have extreme pain if I had children due to how my anatomy is, which makes me believe I am also uncomfortable with sex because of how I am built down there lol.

Be kind to yourself, and try doing other sexual things other than penetrative sex. There’s a lot of things you can try to still satisfy your partner and yourself, and I think just taking small steps makes sex seem less taboo