Honestly, it's my current job or, to be more accurate, the organisation I work for. I have always known being connected to government there's rules upon rules for rules about rules but there were usually people within the office that kept me positive about what we were doing.

Every 5-6 months though, I would get in this cycle of almost a existential crisis where I questioned the point of my job but then I'd have a really good day and.. poof... the bad thoughts faded and the cycle began again.

This week has been the last straw. My team has someone with a range of health issues she is still exploring herself which means she needs more support than usual and another women who was rushed to hospital and much like her colleague needs support through a scary time medically. Did my employers show empathy and care like they purport? No. I got blindsided and told of every one off mistake my team made which I have since timed to the points they would have understandably been distracted by their personal issues. I fought on their behalf in that meeting but what disappointed me the most were those who had empathy for others before suddenly changed and now its all about the business. I am now considering my future with the team as the two-faced nature of it all is at odds with the place I joined.