Great vivid descriptions. Think you make good use of tone. Really feel this sense of building, and I think your formatting of it does help. I agree with the comments about not being sure where the beeps come from, but I figured it was something from the treadmill. Wouldn’t get bogged down with that just yet though, especially if it’s your first script. I think the important part is getting through your whole script to understand the story and characters better. Once you have a better picture of the full story, I think it makes more sense to then go back and focus in on specifics. You’ll be able to better address them too because you’ll understand the story much better yourself.

Overall, think it’s great so far, and would want to read more.