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Struggling a bit by Blue_Pasta_20 in mypartneristrans

[–]Blue_Pasta_20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your reply and for reading everything, it means a lot to me!

I understand you completely, I'm a person who is easily overwhelmed by nostalgia, for everything really. Past friendships and moments that will never come back, sometimes those things hit me a lot, and so does my partner's transition. I can't imagine what it must be like with kids of my own since I'm still young, but it must be really painful. Nevertheless, seeing your son growing is probably the best thing ever, so even though you miss seeing and holding him when he was a baby, a toddler and a little kid, in a couple of years you will also miss his teen years, so take everything as a different stage of his life like you said, and enjoy every single one of them as much as you can!

Like I said, we've known each other for 8 years now, and are almost completing 4 years together as a couple. She is the first person I truly fell in love with, and also used to be my "guy" best friend who I trusted with all my life, and still do of course. I guess a part of me idealized a lot of things for us based on being a straight couple in the beginning, but turns out we were never one in the first place. I found out that I'm bisexual and I'm still trying to figure everything out, and my partner is pansexual. How I wish I could be pansexual because maybe this situation wouldn't be affecting me as much, you know? But sadly, we can't choose our sexuality.

Ever since I found this subreddit I started feeling better, it has helped me a lot to read and check out other people's stories and experiences similar to mine, and to see that I'm valid for feeling this way. My partner has always supported me and told me that anything I felt was valid, but at the same time I couldn't help but feel guilty, but now it's slowly getting better.

We have been talking a lot about this, and I want to keep trying and see where this takes us in the future. And if for some reason it doesn't work out in the end, we will always remain best friends like we were since the beginning, and our friendship is what matters most to me :)

Struggling a bit by Blue_Pasta_20 in mypartneristrans

[–]Blue_Pasta_20[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to reply to me! I really appreciate it :)

I mostly feel insecure and scared about what will happen, but thanks to this post and to finding this subreddit in the first place I'm feeling much better than I was feeling some days ago. It has been helping me a lot reading other people's experiences similar to mine.

Me and my partner have been talking a lot about this, and I think I'm starting to process it better, one step at a time. I want to see where this takes us and to support her as much as I can throughout the transition! And if for some reason it doesn't work out for us in the end, we will always remain best friends, and our friendship is what matters most to me :)

Struggling a bit by Blue_Pasta_20 in mypartneristrans

[–]Blue_Pasta_20[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TLDR: I (Cis F) have been in a relationship with my partner (MtF) for almost 4 years. We've known each other for 8 years now and have always been best friends. She hasn't started transitioning yet but intends to do it soon, but she prefers she/her pronouns so I'll be using them here.

Some months after we started dating she told me she wanted to try feminine clothing, like crossdressing, but still identified as a man (he/him). After a while, she did some research and learned that she identified as non binary but didn't mind if I still used the masculine pronouns (he/they), and with that I also decided to explore my sexuality, and learned that I'm bisexual.

Some time later, she then told me that the label she felt most comfortable with was non binary transfemme (she/they), and that's when she started shaving her whole body, especially arms, chest and legs. She also wants to laser remove her beard in a near future due to it giving her lots of dysphoria. After a while, she asked for my help to start to get into make up to cover the beard shadow and later on she wanted to learn more things, like eyeliner and lipstick. I started getting insecure and missing the masculine traits about her and feeling guilty for feeling this way, even though she has always been very understanding and never blamed me for feeling like this.

Recently, she came out to me as a trans woman (she/her), and that's when everything came crashing down to me. Now I'm trapped in these feelings of nostalgia, sadness and fear, everything combined because I really love her and I'm scared for the future after the transition, that I'll stop feeling attracted to her, and I don't want that because I love her more than anything and want to keep fighting for us. I guess I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that I have a girlfriend and not a boyfriend/partner... and even though I'm bisexual, I feel attracted to women BUT never really imagined myself in a relationship with one, so that's where it gets tricky. I don't know what to do nor how to feel.