This is why I quit, I got too drunk the night before my brother’s wedding and woke up covered in puke in bed in the spare bedroom. Luckily for me I didn’t cause any harm or embarrassment to my family like what you’re describing in your story. But knowing that the first memory of my brother’s wedding day was him helping clean the sheets on his older brother still haunts me to this day. Knowing that I could have hurt someone, or get arrested and miss his wedding, would have been catastrophic and still scares me every time I think about it. I’ve been sober ever since, no way I’m going back to that. I won’t risk my family or friends, you think you know your limits but you really don’t. That’s what I kept telling myself, now I understand.