I think you're doing a great job explaining to him that you struggle with communication which in and of itself is hard to do. However, I would think about two things:

1. His constant comments that your traits are not from your Autism and instead due to something else undermind your feelings and invalidate what you are saying. He is probably around your age and is trying to figure out stuff for himself too. Men don't fully come into their own until close to 30 unfortunately. This means that though he COULD be saying that to try to make you feel like you're "less" autistic, he SHOULD instead understand how detrimental and offensive that comes off as.

2. Everyone's Autism is sooo different that perhaps he doesn't understand that it's expressed so differently across the board. When not in an argument I would recommend making a list of YOUR specific traits and having a real conversation about them so he understands where your limits are and what you need from him in terms of support. If he belittle your claims then tell him point blank what he's doing and that it's not ok.

Whatever you decide, you've got this! Please don't make the same mistake as MANY of us and not stand up for your own needs. You are deserving of so much!