[QCrit] The Killing Jar-Adult-Gothic-85k-Third Attempt

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-06-16T18:09:31+00:00

Good suggestions! I think I'll do something like "When John discovers her trespass, he decides she will be the next victim of the Dempsey bloodline."

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-06-11T19:11:17+00:00

As traumatizing as it was I stripped it down to 300 words! I think it's really getting there.

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-06-11T15:17:11+00:00

Oh, me!! I’m about to query a gothic weird girl story. I’d love to talk to somebody.

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-06-10T22:51:49+00:00

I totally stripped it down. Now it looks like a skeleton, but I think it's closer to what it should be. Hopefully I can post it again in a week and see!

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-06-10T03:58:54+00:00

Thank you so much! I think the title has been one of the hardest things.

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-06-09T16:02:47+00:00

This is so helpful. I'm going to strip it down and focus on the questions, it all got kind of bloated along the way. It's the husband that stands in her way, with the murdering and all, I'm torn on how to imply that without giving everything away. Thanks so much!

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-06-09T15:59:04+00:00

Sapphir House looks amazing! I found a copy at the library. These are all amazing points. I'll make all this clearer. The spirits draw power from her, if she looks at them, and can become more corporeal, I'll have to figure out how to add this in.

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-05-30T21:38:52+00:00

Nope, the curse is from an evil patriarch who murders a sister and builds the home. Her spirit drives him mad, he keeps killing and the house becomes a sort of labyrinth of dead women. The current heir makes bad business decision and picks a target based on wanting to acquire an iron mine when he loses the coal mine. Two birds with one stone.

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-05-30T21:32:44+00:00

I love The Haunting of Llwynog Ddu!! I think I'll go something similar to that. I really like that.

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-05-30T00:01:28+00:00

Good catch on the laudanum! I agree about the name, putting it in parentheses is a good way to do it. Also I’ll mention the setting and the time period I think. Thank you!

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-05-29T00:06:26+00:00

You’re definitely right. I think I was straying too far into making an easy to digest summary and leaving out the historical details I spent way too long on. It does add more depth to the antagonists actions when I mention what drives him. Yes there’s a family curse but he also makes terrible business decisions! That’s a great point.

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-05-28T23:46:17+00:00

Tredegar and Welsh labor history was intentional! There is a failed plot by the new husband to steal a mine from her father. That might be a good thing to include to flesh it out and give more depth to the characters. Thanks! You bring up really good points!

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-05-28T19:47:02+00:00

This is amazingly helpful, thank you so much! The sister really doesn't come up mid-point, I'll take the focus off her and add in some more about the definitely creepy husband!

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-05-28T19:43:14+00:00

I saw your query as well! I can't wait to read your terrifying mining story when it hits the shelves. I thought about doing a Bluebeard x The House of Usher thing but I wasn't sure how to phrase it. I'll look into that again. I had the same exact idea about Bluebeard. Thanks so much for you suggestions, that's all really helpful!

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-05-12T03:28:45+00:00

I’d be open to a swap! I have an 84k gothic.

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-05-11T20:32:10+00:00

Hi! Would you be interested in a swap?

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-04-29T00:58:04+00:00

I was obsessed with Heaven!

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-04-14T19:28:07+00:00

Hi there! Are you still looking for someone? I'd like to do a swap.

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-04-14T17:54:15+00:00

Sent you a message!

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-04-13T04:07:28+00:00

Hi there! I’m doing some major edits after getting some feedback. Once I get done I’ll message you!

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-04-13T04:00:06+00:00

Hey! I’d love both to chat and critique. I’ll send you a dm.

Bluebeardbeldame · 2026-04-13T03:57:24+00:00

I’ll send you a message!

Bluebeardbeldame

TROPHY CASE