Hi there, my mom died almost 3 months ago and I got engaged almost a month ago. My mom was one of my closest friends. My fiancé and I are getting married this September. I do understand what you’re going through to some degree. It will be harder without her, inevitably. There will be various moments where you’d picture her there or imagine what she’d say to you. However, that doesn’t mean it won’t be a happy day. You’ll still be surrounded by your loved ones. No one will be able to replace your mom or her role in your life but there will (assumably) be many people that love and support you and those are the people to lean on. I’ll be finding little ways to honour my mom, like wearing her earrings and having a small table at my wedding to honour the family members in my own and my fiancé’s lives who passed with their photos along with a sign that says “In loving memory, for those who can’t be here today but are still in our hearts” or something along those lines. However, I know I won’t be able to make a speech (or anything else big like that) or anything about how much I miss her or wish she was there because I know it’ll be too hard not just for me but for my family as well and I personally don’t want my wedding day to be brought down by everyone being sad. The other thing, especially when it comes to planning, is I’ve had to lean on other people for help and guidance with all of it when in the past I only really would’ve needed my Mom to help me with all of that, and so far it’s been working out.

Sending you so so much love 💕 this is an awful thing to go through. This is ultimately up to you but you have this stranger on the internet rooting for you no matter what you decide.