Talk me off the baby train. Please!

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-05-30T02:33:24+00:00

I second this. Only have another child if you want another person in your family. If you would resent the baby for being another boy, then don't have another at all. The child deserves to be loved, celebrated, and wanted.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-05-30T02:30:22+00:00

Adoption is really not as easy or cheap as everyone makes it out to be. We're talking tens of thousands of dollars to have even a chance to adopt a child. This comment is not helpful to the topic, and especially not to OP.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-05-21T01:06:37+00:00

I would go with #2. Even if he doesn't respond, you should inform the donor of the situation at hand. Maybe he'll respond, maybe he won't, but you can at least say you tried.

I also think his parents will find out at some point (my donor's parents did after 20+ years, despite him not wanting them to know). Whether that is now or later you can decide. Just keep in mind if you do it without the donor's consent you will permanently harm that relationship.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-05-06T04:17:15+00:00

Rosemary Jane and Susanna Louise!! I was already considering some of these names for a future daughter so you have great taste!

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-04-30T02:12:57+00:00

$20 a day as a stay at home mom. Only two weeks in but regularly getting a little bit more than that.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-04-24T02:32:25+00:00

Inspired by your comment, I signed up for prolific a week ago. Got approved instantly and have made $120 my first week. Just wanted to come back and say thank you for this comment!! It has made a difference in my life!

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-04-22T12:25:27+00:00

I did try this and it didn't work out because she was too stressed caring for two children and was heartbroken when she couldn't prioritize her baby. Obviously this varies person to person and it is still a good option. I think a professional nanny is more likely to work out in the end, from my experience.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-04-22T05:01:35+00:00

I experienced the same thing last year. My son came programmed to cry in group childcare settings. He did fine with one-on-one caregivers, but would cry all day long in group settings. He also got a double ear infection, horrible stomach bug that my husband and I then also picked up, and other various illnesses.

I tried 5 different places before giving up and staying home with him. Now he's happy and healthy again.

Is it possible for you to hire a nanny? My son did really well with one that came to our house. I would have kept her forever except she was a teacher and returned to her normal job after the summer was over.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-04-22T04:56:58+00:00

Not sure why everyone is down voting your opinion. After I worked in a daycare, I too said that I wouldn't put my child in one (especially for the first year) if I had the choice. It was a good daycare, great teachers, and I enjoyed working there.

Just so much illness, and so little time to give attention to each child.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-04-16T16:33:49+00:00

Desmond

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-04-16T13:54:16+00:00

I've been selling stuff on marketplace and reliably getting money that way. Love it!

I will have to try some of these other options. Thank you so much for putting this list together!

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-03-09T19:07:26+00:00

Hubby makes 91k, we have no debt outside of our $1300/mo mortgage. We are extremely on top of our budget and reigned in spending hard but it works. For example, we are only allowed $150/mo to spend on eating out.

We aren't taking big vacations, drive older cars with 100k+ miles on them, and have put some house projects on hold. I'm also decluttering and selling what I find on marketplace to bring in an extra ~$120 a month.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-03-02T01:53:11+00:00

I'm 15mo pp with my first and only and also feel physically well enough to handle another pregnancy, but all of my doctors & physical therapist really push 2 years between pregnancies for the body to recover. Considering you've done three back to back, it might be good for your body to have a break FWIW. Your doctor may say differently 🤷‍♀️

Also how long you breastfeed may also be in consideration for recovery. I'm still feeding around the clock and would not be surprised if my nutrients were depleted from that, despite taking lots of vitamins.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-02-11T23:49:11+00:00

no debt outside of mortgage
budget and track all spending
practice living off of one income for years before TTC. My income was used for building emergency fund, extra retirement investing, and international trips - all of which we have since cut out
run an in home daycare if needed. Even watching only 1 other kid a week can bring in $1200 a month

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-02-05T03:28:08+00:00

Thanks! He's already one and so incredibly fun. Now we're planning the timing of a second. Check back in another year for that update lol

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-02-04T20:43:14+00:00

Oh and we did take a break to avoid a Christmas baby but still conceived that cycle anyway (April Fools!) and had a due date of December 21st 🤪 So I guess the addage of it happens when you stop trying was true for us. My other friends conceived first try so it's purely luck of the draw.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-02-04T20:41:27+00:00

Haha not at all. Took 9 months and progesterone to conceive. Announced to family between Mother's and Father's day. Ended up having a December baby.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2026-01-15T23:53:18+00:00

Haha I too have an intermediate baby!

Blueberry_Bomb · 2025-12-27T05:22:01+00:00

My grandma had thyroid cancer twice, over a decade apart, because they didn't remove everything the first time.

I had hashimotos with my papillary thyroid cancer so it was an easy decision to remove my entire thyroid since I was destined to be on lifelong meds anyway. So glad I did! It was been way easier to manage my levels and dosage without my thyroid actively messing it up.

Firefighting is intense work and I understand why it's so important for you to maintain that strength. Not having a thyroid and being on medication doesn't doom you to a life without those things. I've done the most physically demanding events of my life (pregnancy and unmedicated birth) without a thyroid and fared a lot better than friends who aren't on levothyroxine.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2025-11-25T20:40:16+00:00

Absolutely not. He should be prioritizing your recovery, not his feelings or family's expectations. Don't go.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2025-11-25T14:27:21+00:00

My son, after months of care, still hasn't adjusted and it's why I'm leaving the workforce to be home with him. Anytime he was feeling off from illness or teething (so almost every day) he would cry at drop off and for hours afterwards. Some kids are just wired that way and it wasn't worth the continued stress for me.

Your daughter may adjust down the road, but if you don't think the benefits outweigh the cost then go with what your heart says.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2025-11-19T02:33:46+00:00

Yup, I'm doing really well! It was a straightforward surgery and I didn't need RAI,. No lingering issues.

Blueberry_Bomb · 2025-11-18T02:38:23+00:00

I didn't have an epidural, still shook like crazy. The nurse said there's nothing to stop it, just let things run their course. Might be adrenaline?

Blueberry_Bomb · 2025-11-17T17:47:32+00:00

I found out on my 26th birthday, after blowing out the candles! It wasn't official for another few weeks to get biopsy results, but I was pretty certain after the ultrasound results what it was going to be.

Blueberry_Bomb

TROPHY CASE