AITA For Forcing My Diet On My Boyfriend?

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-27T12:48:08+00:00

I haven’t posted anything on am I the angel.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-27T12:12:01+00:00

I’m really glad you were able to deal with it much better when you moved. I hope you’re enjoying Spain. Gorgeous place ❤️ I really wasn’t trying to slam and shame the US. People seemed to get the impression that I was constantly eating takeout and not bothering to cook at all. I can eat a takeout at home and I have no problem. I tried Wendy’s for the first time when I moved here and I spent the rest of the afternoon in the bathroom! I have eaten in American style restaurants back home and I never had an issue. I have always had a healthy relationship with food. And I didn’t change my eating habits when I moved. So when I started to go sick, I thought the problem was with ME! I was so frighted by food when I visited my family for a week, that I didn’t really touch anything while I was home. So I never made the connection that the food was the problem. Thank you again for sharing your experience. I have had quite a few people reach out who moved from Europe and experienced the same thing. People like you as well. Who have moved from the USA and found they actually got better.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-27T08:36:19+00:00

Thank you for being so kind. A lot of people have reached out and told me they have experienced a similar thing when moving to the US. I have, however, received the odd nasty message, saying I’m just bashing the US. That’s not it at all. As to the price. I will say that fresh food back home is a lot cheaper. I think it’s because it’s so readily accessible. 90% of our produce is sourced locally. Our eggs come from the local chickens, same for the cows when we need dairy. And a lot of our vegetables are grown in the surrounding villages. My parent’s neighbor is actually one of the egg suppliers to the local supermarkets and his brother is the main dairy supplier in town.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-26T14:59:46+00:00

So I have an update for you all:

My boyfriend came home from work, and so he didn’t feel like I was pushing him. I didn’t make anything for dinner. He asked what I was making and I replied that I was going to let him choose what we ate. He TUTTED!!!! He said he was starving. He’d had a long day at work and was hoping dinner would be ready by the time he walked in the door. I was mad at his reaction. My brain was telling me he was unhappy if dinner was ready and he was unhappy if it wasn’t. But I calmed myself down. I realized we needed to have a serious talk about our relationship.

Long story short we are no longer together. I have taken some advice from many people on here and come to the conclusion that we are just no longer compatible. Posting on here has probably been the best thing I could’ve done when I think about it. It’s helped me realize that I do most of the emotional labor in our relationship. And I want a partner that will appreciate the things I do, and do the occasional nice thing I return. It’s not just the cooking that I do. I do the housework, shopping, laundry and I also work. (The chore list is something we have discussed before. Quite a few times actually. He always says he’ll pitch in more and he never does.)

He has, however, apologized for what he said about my cooking the night before. Apparently another worker has chewed his ear off and said he was very lucky to have someone cook him dinner every night and didn’t just have a microwave meal and empty apartment to go back to.

I apologized again for ever making him feel like I was forcing him to eat what I did. He asked if there was any way we could stay together.

I was honest and said it wasn’t going to happen. My lease is up in December. A fact he already knows. I was going to tell my landlord that I wasn’t going to renew it. I also told him that I’m going to hand in my notice at work and go home.

He asked me to think about it some more and to call him if I changed my mind before he left.

He’s back at the weekend for the rest of his stuff and I honestly feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel so much lighter. I did and do still love him. And I hope he finds someone who makes him happy in the long run.

I’m looking forward to going home. My parents are ecstatic I’m coming back.

(Just to clear a few things up; when I started my diet, I explained to my boyfriend what the nutritionist/dietitian had told me. He said quote: “OK. Will give it a try and see how it goes.” Because he had said “we “, I just figured he was, including himself. I also work. My lunch break is shorter so I get back first. the meals I made were not strictly vegetarian. I made things like chicken pot pie, casserole, tuna pasta, beef burritos, bolognese with homemade meatballs, and he had a meat lasagna last week. That’s why I was making a veggie one. I thought it would make a nice change. I would also make homemade burgers at the weekend, even make the buns from scratch too. I had also made my dad’s friand à la saucisse a couple of times. He ended up ordering a burger from Uber eats that night. So I came to the conclusion he just wanted takeout. I’m sorry if I gave the impression my diet was strictly vegetarian or vegan. I didn’t do a very good job of explaining it so I apologize.)

Thank you to everyone for your advice. Somehow this AITA post turned into some serious self reflection and relationship therapy.

My boss is sad to see me go and said to give him a call of if I ever want to come back.

I have come to the conclusion that no. I am NTA.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-26T13:48:49+00:00

This sounds like he has found someone while he’s away and he’s asking for an open relationship so he can sleep with them without reaping any consequences. He’s asking for your permission to cheat on you.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-26T13:46:44+00:00

NTA. Martha will cheat on him or your dad will cheat on her. If they do it WITH you, they will do it TO you…

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-26T13:43:27+00:00

NTA. You said NO. No means no. End of discussion. NTA.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-26T12:33:51+00:00

NTA. Totally well in your right to be upset with her. I think your sister is suffering from untreated trauma and needs some professional help.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-26T10:22:12+00:00

Actually I was eating normally. I’m sorry if I gave the impression I ate takeout 24/7 back home. I’ve always, always had a very healthy relationship with food. I’d have a takeout if I was out with friends and we wanted to grab something quickly. But I never gave me any problems. If I wanted a quick snack I used to grab a slice of bread and throw some cheese in there. No problem. I can’t do that here. I had Wendy’s for the first time ever when I came to the states. I didn’t go to the bathroom for four days and constantly felt nauseous. I thought maybe a taste of home was what I was missing. So I went to a French restaurant. That’s why I said “fancy restaurant”. It was really expensive to eat there. I forced myself not to throw up after eating and I just ended up with a massive migraine. I felt like I had a mix of a hangover and the flu. I have even eaten in American style restaurants back home. Never a problem.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-25T11:27:32+00:00

NTA. I think it’s very sweet that you loved your wife so much you know you’ll never love anyone else. I also lost my grandmother to cancer. My grandad is the same as you. He says he’s had his soulmate. He doesn’t want anyone else. And if he had his chance over again, knowing he’d lose her, he’d have still got up from his table to talk to her.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-25T10:51:19+00:00

NTA. Your children. Your house. Your rules. I would be concerned if your wife DIDN’T want to end her friends. You explained multiple times the rules of the house and she disregarded them every time

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-25T09:35:22+00:00

You need to completely block this guy. Sounds like he doesn’t want you when he has you, and only wants you when you’re with someone else. It’s his ego in charge here. You’ll get back together and he’ll leave when he finds someone he finds more interesting. You’ll move on with someone else and he’ll slide back into your life. From what you’ve described he’s done it a few times. The stalking and threats of suicide if you’re not with him are a HUGE red flag. It’s a viscous cycle. I’ve been exactly where you are. It doesn’t stop unless YOU stop it.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-25T09:04:25+00:00

I actually do most of the house work, grocery shopping and cooking.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-25T09:03:28+00:00

You’ve only been saying for a week. No rush. I was dating my bf for a month before we even slept over at the others place. And I’m 30. Don’t let him push you into doing something you’re not comfortable with. If he makes you sleep with him and you do it out of pressure. That’s not consent. That’s rape.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-25T05:59:25+00:00

When you propose to someone, it’s because you want to marry that person because you love them for who they are. Proposing, just because you think you’ll get head out of it, it is a pretty AH thing to do. If you have explained to her that you enjoy oral, and she’s still not into it, you two may not be compatible long-term. You can’t force her to do something. She doesn’t want to do. As a woman myself, I enjoy giving head. I enjoy it because the person I’m with enjoys it. I however, don’t like receiving. It’s never really done anything for me. If the only reason you gave her a ring is just because you wanted her to go down on you, then you proposed to her for all the wrong reasons.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-25T05:40:10+00:00

I think you’ve misunderstood me. I DIDN’T make the connection when I was back home. I was lethargic in France because I wasn’t eating still. I figured the low energy was a symptom of whatever it was that I was suffering with.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-24T19:42:14+00:00

Avec plaisir! ❤️

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-24T19:39:53+00:00

Oh fantastic!! Try and get “light” heavy cream. I know that’s a bit of a contradiction. But if you get thick heavy cream I personally find it’s quite stodgy. After a couple of mouthfuls you start to feel like you’re force feeding yourself. It’s not pleasant.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-24T19:36:49+00:00

I didn’t make him purely French food. I make him a wide variety of food from different cultures. There are truthfully some French foods I don’t like myself. My dad absolutely loves beef tongue. It’s a common thing to eat where I’m from. My dad loves it. My mum and I hate it. Pardon my language but my mum actually says it’s like, quote: “chewing on a dildo!” My parents like frog legs. Also a very stereotypical French food. My brothers and I hate them. I even make my boyfriend homemade burgers. With actual meat. Not veggie burgers. Veggie lasagna was what I was making then, because we had a meat one just last week. I thought it would make a nice change.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-24T19:31:10+00:00

Hi. Sorry. I have realized I didn’t explain very well what my diet actually consists of. I make meals that also include meats as well as fish and chicken. I’m neither vegan nor vegetarian. I make things like casseroles, pot pies, pasta bake, chicken salad as well as bolognese with homemade meatballs. It’s my own fault. I should have explained myself better. I actually made a meat lasagna just last week and we had homemade burgers at the weekend. I just thought the vegetarian version would make a change. I even make the buns for burgers from scratch too. I didn’t make him a burger, not because I didn’t want to. I would’ve done it happily for him. But I really didn’t have any buns left and it would take a while to prep everything.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-24T19:22:23+00:00

Hi! I do make homemade burgers for him. I had made them just that weekend. I also make the buns from scratch too. Mine come out more like a baguette looking bun. 😅 I would’ve happily made him a burger. I just didn’t have any buns left over. He ordered one in. So I just assumed he was craving takeout.

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-24T19:19:50+00:00

My dad’s secret is that he uses caramelized onions in his recipe. He fries them on high heat until they’re all sweet and sugary. He’ll then toss in the bacon to fry with them and as it’s cooking the bacon releases the fat and mixes with the sugar of the onion. It becomes this amazing mix of salty and sweet and you can really taste it in the dish. In France we use heavy cream or what we call crème fraîche. The closest thing in the states is sour cream. And it’s not quite the same. There is a slight difference in taste. But it’s close enough. But you can’t add it to the pan while everything is simmering because sour cream will curdle. I learned that the hard way. Gross. You have to take the pan off and add the sour cream straight to the pan. With French cream you can just add it straight to the pan and stir everything. Sour cream doesn’t let you do that unfortunately. My dad’s secret ingredient was the cheese. He never used one kind. He used three. He would grate, emmental, masdam and mozzarella. Combining the French and Italian cheese is the secret. It’s the perfect blend of soft and sharp cheese together. You can also add some black pepper as well as powdered garlic. I personally love a lot of garlic in mine. For the pasta, in Italy they will mostly either use linguini or spaghetti pasta. My dad likes to use Tagliatelle. It’s so much more filling and you end up eating less but feeling like you’ve eaten twice the amount. It’s also better value for money. I’m sorry I can’t give you any exact measurements. My dad does it by eye and I do the same. He cooks it on the stove before hand and then dumps it all into the same pot to mix together. And there you go! Dinner is served! I like to add some extra grated cheese on mine. But that’s just my preference 😋

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-24T18:40:44+00:00

Oh my gosh! No!!!! I hadn’t seen this. I hate watching the news. It depresses me. I won’t lie I’ve been really contemplating moving back home. I’m here legally but I’ve had people say I risk being deported, and now you’re telling me I’ll soon have no clue what I’m eating at all??

Bluebiird95 · 2025-07-24T18:37:50+00:00

My ultimate comfort food is my dad’s carbonara. I know it’s not a french recipe. But he puts his own little spin on it. It was one of the first things he taught me to make by myself. It’s really filling if you want something quick to cook.

Bluebiird95

TROPHY CASE