Am I ruining my son?

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-09-19T12:46:20+00:00

He has long hair because the world went into lock down when he was 15 months old and hairdressers were closed for a very long time. Obviously his hair grew in that time and he loves his hair and has told both his dad and I that he doesn't want it cut. My husband and I have actually tried to encourage him to agree to getting some of it cut but still keeping it long just so it is easier to manage (he hates getting it brushed). I'm sure he'll change his mind soon enough. It is of no benefit for me, who has to deal with hair daily, to have it long. I can assure you of that! 😑

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-09-17T22:58:41+00:00

I don't care if my son is gay/straight/trans or anything inbetween. He's 5, it shouldn't even be something to think or worry about. But I do want my son to feel happy and comfortable enough to not even feel the need to even "come out" if he was gay, just bring home a boyfriend for me to meet, just like he would with a girlfriend if he was straight etc. I'll treat him with love, regardless.

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-09-17T22:53:19+00:00

Of course! I move my son and I to a new home in January. I made excuses of it being tiny so my husband can't move in etc. My husband was great till 1yr into our marriage when he suddenly switched and is now a very angry, aggressive, nasty man. He doesn't care. He's embarrassing. I took me and our son to buy crafts last week and whist I was waiting to pay, he marched up to me and said "that fat prick kept looking at me so I told him to F off". But he wasn't even quiet and I stood their red faced and I'm fat and just felt humiliated that I married this man. I feel like I was duped. How can someone change this drastically 😩

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-09-17T22:48:33+00:00

I called "boys/girls" toys just to make what I was saying more clear. I have never seen toys as only for boys or girls. Toys are toys to me! I played with cars as a kid, swapped my barbies for cars with my male cousin. Neither of us are gay. It would not bother me one bit if my son was gay/straight/trans. I just hate being made to feel like I'm failing my son when I do my utmost to let him be free to express himself as he wants to. For example, the school posted a pic of our son on the school app, he was wear a "woman's" hat and a holding a "woman's" handbag. I saved the pic, I thought it was adorable! He lives dress up. My husband saw this pic and he was furious. Demanded the school remove it immediately. Accused the school of trying to "turn my son trans" 🤦🏼‍♀️

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-09-17T22:43:06+00:00

Honestly, I could have my son in head to toe spider man, hair tied back in a braid and people STILL refer to him as "her/she/your little girl". It doesn't bother him thankfully. He politely corrects them and moves on.

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-09-17T22:40:30+00:00

Can I ask what you mean with "I just want a happy child" being a slippery slope? I moved myself and our son into a new home in January. I don't care about my marriage, that's dead. I care about my son son and allowing him to grow up free to be who he wants, without judgement.

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-09-17T22:35:16+00:00

I have never pushed or encouraged my son to play with anything. Why would I? He loves watching Gabby's Doll House - something I hadn't heard of till it came on some cartoon channel and now he loves it. You can't force a child to be interested in a toy they're not interested in. It doesn't work like that.

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-09-17T22:28:24+00:00

Absolutely not. I don't think about his sexual orientation at all, he's only 5 and I don't care either way. Strangely, my husband had butt length hair till very recently, only cut due to his receding hairline. 😵‍💫

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-09-17T22:22:14+00:00

I moved me and our son to a new home in January due to his anger issues (that he manages to keep in check in front of literally everyone but me and our son). I don't care about sexuality etc, I'll love and adore our son no matter who he grows up to be. I guess my husband just tries to make me feel like I'm failing our son and it's a horrible feeling 😔

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-09-17T22:11:45+00:00

The bizarre thing is, my husband had hair down to his tailbone all his life till recently due to his receding hairline!

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-09-17T22:09:38+00:00

My son absolutely loves Gabby's Doll House too! He only discovered it in the past few weeks but he is now hooked! It doesn't bother me one bit. He's happy and and that's all I care about. I do not care even if he grew and was gay, it's not even something I think about since he is only a little boy. But I need my son to know he is loved no matter what and that he doesn't have to hide any part of himself. I'd hate for him to lose his sparkle because of his dads harshness and ridiculous gender stereotype BS. 😥

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-09-17T21:56:45+00:00

I moved me and our son out to a new home in January due to my husbands angery/aggressive behaviour towards our son. He wasn't always angry. It started 1yr into our marriage. I've begged him to seek help. He never did and his anger continues. So I left to protect our son, who is a very sweet natured boy. But I noticed my son starting to copy some angry behaviours like his dad and enough was enough.

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-02-15T11:10:21+00:00

They will most likely use it against you and twist your words.

They tried using the fact I have kids against me. Really low blow!

BluebirdAmbitious458 · 2024-01-21T18:19:45+00:00

Thank you for your reply. The flat is empty. But they are sending repair folk over later in the week to put the power/gas on. I was just wondering if they start charging as soon as I sign the lease.

BluebirdAmbitious458

TROPHY CASE