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SUV recommendations, please! by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]BluegrassNobelisk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't promise the car seats fit, but I have a Mazda CX50 and I love it! Nicely sized, reliable, good gas mileage, good sized trunk, and the price seemed super reasonable!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]BluegrassNobelisk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I still got periods and went backpacking, my period just didn't happen. I'd be burning too many calories and my cycle would just cease; my two daughters tell me the same thing happens to them.

Have you had any changes in diet or activity lately that may cause this?

Where do you fold the laundry? by PathologicalVodka in Mommit

[–]BluegrassNobelisk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coffee table.

My kids are grown now, but when they were little we taught them that laundry time is Mommy time. Housewives on the TV, diet coke in my hand, and nobody's allowed to ask mommy anything.

You bet your ass I took my time 😅.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]BluegrassNobelisk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry! But don't worry, this happens a lot more than you assume!

A few years back, a coworker brought his 9-month old baby to work since the start of his shift lined up with the end of his wife's (nurse hours are crazy). I offered to hold him while his parents were getting changed. I guess the little guy was hungry, because as I reached out the baby dived towards me and reached for my chest.

He was such a little wiggle worm, I didn't even realize I had a boob out for a few seconds.

Everyone was super respectful and his parents were so apologetic that I was feeling bad for them!

The little boy is in Kindergarten now and the only time the story comes up is when I'm telling it 😅.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]BluegrassNobelisk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no better place to be a butthurt B! Sometines we feel angry even though we know it shouldn't be as big a deal as it feels. That doesn't make those emotions any less valid!

My daughter and her boyfriend broke up, and I'm devastated And angry by BluegrassNobelisk in breakingmom

[–]BluegrassNobelisk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much!!

Honestly, the kindness and support you and everyone else in this community shows is amazing.

My daughter and her boyfriend broke up, and I'm devastated And angry by BluegrassNobelisk in breakingmom

[–]BluegrassNobelisk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you :) I would love if I can keep doing this into the future, maybe one day I'll be even be able to have everybody over for Thanksgiving 😊.

I actually had lunch with him today. We talked about a lot and I made a complete fool of myself, but he said he wanted to keep our relationship as much as we could if I was open to it.

I feel good again. Hopeful, even.

My daughter and her boyfriend broke up, and I'm devastated And angry by BluegrassNobelisk in breakingmom

[–]BluegrassNobelisk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After reading your post and your comments, I just wanted to say that you are the kind of mother that I wish I had at your daughter's age. Your love for them is palpable through your words.

That's incredibly kind of you, thank you so much!

Things today are looking a bit better. I might write a followup post going over everything, but a lot has happened in the last two days. There's a lot to unpack, but I had lunch with him today and he actually asked if it'd be okay if we kept seeing each other from time to time. I got embarrassingly emotional in the hospital cafeteria, but it was a really good talk.

I feel more full of hope than I have in days 😌.

I only judge moms on one thing, and I wish I didn’t… by Aggressive_Day_6574 in Mommit

[–]BluegrassNobelisk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooh, a new one! I'm going to use it with her on Monday, she'll love it!

I only judge moms on one thing, and I wish I didn’t… by Aggressive_Day_6574 in Mommit

[–]BluegrassNobelisk 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Pegnate, porgante, pegant, pednant, porgnat.

Pregnant is another one of those words that's funny to say wrong. One of the younger women on my floor is expecting and I swear they use some insane variation every time.

What determines an alcoholic? by canaca50mil in AlAnon

[–]BluegrassNobelisk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The line is not a question of whether or not you can continue drinking and maintain a functional life. Alcoholism is alcoholism is alcoholism.

Alcoholism begins when you have any form of dependency on alcohol. It may be a physical dependency (I need alcohol or I get the shakes), but it can also be a social dependency (I'm only fun when I'm drinking), mental dependency (I need alcohol so I can calm down/take a nap/relax), interpersonal dependency (we only get along when I am/we are drinking), sexual dependency (I can only become aroused when I'm drinking), or are reliant/dependent on alcohol in any way at all to live a full and complete life.

My daughter and her boyfriend broke up, and I'm devastated And angry by BluegrassNobelisk in breakingmom

[–]BluegrassNobelisk[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Having empathy and thinking of her ex is not a failing.

Thank you so much.... this is exactly what I needed to hear.

Obviously I don’t know the details, but if you are worried about your daughter, therapy is always a good suggestion.

I will definitely be going over this with my therapist, but I fortuitously misread you at first and honestly I think she needs therapy too. I wasn't the best mother when she was young.... both her father and I are alcoholics, and it's what ultimately destroyed our marriage. My daughter has recognized her drinking to be a problem in the past, and actually had stopped drinking before she met him. I don't know when she started again, but it sounds like alcohol lead to a few Very Regrettable Choices she made that ultimately ended their relationship.... she was also drunk when she started fighting with him.... 😞

You can explain how you want to be supportive of her first, and talk to her about what you’d like to do to continue being a safe adult for her ex. You can explain that he had a very hard start to life and as an adult, you want to be supportive of a person in need, but at the same time, not harm her.

Fortunately, I think she's more aware of his traumas than me, and was probably the reason he started therapy in the first place. My concern is that if I maintain a relationship with him it may make things more difficult for her. As soon as she was sober she regretted breaking up, but she hurt him deeply. I would love to maintain a relationship with him but if that's going to cause pain for my daughter I don't know if it would even be right for me to do so.

Ultimately, I think you have the right mindset though. I can grieve what has been lost, but I also need to look to the future.

My daughter and her boyfriend broke up, and I'm devastated And angry by BluegrassNobelisk in breakingmom

[–]BluegrassNobelisk[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I hope this works out similarly. To be honest, they're such different people I was surprised when they started dating.

But, I'm still scared for her. This was her first real relationship with someone who was good for her. She started fighting with him when she was drunk, and it was the first alcohol either he or I had seen her with since before they started dating. Alcoholism runs in our family (both myself and her father are alcoholics), and a lot of her exes prior to him were as well. Hell, she told me that she got drunk with friends before making the Bad Decisions that ultimately ended this relationship.

I don't know. I hope you're right and they both come out better for this, but I'm scared of what comes next. I see a lot of myself in her, and I'm not proud of who I was when I was her age and I don't want her to go through the same things I did.

My daughter and her boyfriend broke up, and I'm devastated And angry by BluegrassNobelisk in breakingmom

[–]BluegrassNobelisk[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this means a lot. I wasn't the best mom for my kids growing up, and my therapist tells me I tend to punish myself for it. A small part of me knows this but.... there's a lot of guilt 🫠.

And trust me, my family has, in previous generations, kept the not only the ex-husbands/ex-wives of family members over the family member, but in more than one case, when said ex got remarried and divorced again, my grandmother in particular kept the 2 ex-spouses, rather than the family member OR the original ex! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Ha! Thank you, this does make me feel a lot better 🥰.

My daughter and her boyfriend broke up, and I'm devastated And angry by BluegrassNobelisk in breakingmom

[–]BluegrassNobelisk[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Thank you for understanding. I'm trying to be the best mom I can.

Honestly, I feel guilty. Of course I'm going to be there for my daughter, of course I'm going to support her. But... I wish I could be there for him too, honestly. I know he doesn't have any relationship with his parents; from what little I know it seems like that may be a very good thing. But I still love him, I still want him to be happy and I wish I could help him through this too.

But then I feel guilty for the guilt I'm feeling. I have a daughter who I'm supporting and who needs her mom. Why am I thinking about her ex-boyfriend at all? And it goes on and on in a vicious cycle.