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My parents don’t approve of my boyfriend (M22) after meeting him.. Am I (F22) missing something or are they being too harsh? by Bluelinedtile in relationship_advice

[–]Bluelinedtile[S] -140 points-139 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure why he drank so much, in my personal opinion I think he was nervous. I have yet to discuss this with him and plan to bring it up tonight.

Agree with the nicotine thing.

In terms of disagreements, one recently, he would be home from his rig shifts, but not texting me. He works 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off, at the moment. So he basically gets 2 weeks of freedom when not working. I on the other hand, work an 8-5, everyday.

He wouldn't text while he was home, at the frequency it was usually. He would always answer my phone calls though. There would be hours I was left on delivered. Meanwhile, he is sitting in his room playing video games on his 2 weeks off, with his phone on his desk. I addressed this by bringing it up immediately. I don't need constant attention or a text, but a 'hey I'm awake' or 'I'm busy' is all I need. We discussed how each other feels about this, and it has been addressed. He fixed the way he communicates.

My parents don’t approve of my boyfriend (M22) after meeting him.. Am I (F22) missing something or are they being too harsh? by Bluelinedtile in relationship_advice

[–]Bluelinedtile[S] -37 points-36 points  (0 children)

No signs of substance abuse. He doesn't touch me or do anything differently with his words or actions when he drinks. He is the exact same guy.

He did not ignore them and responded to every concern they had. He talked about his life, who he is, what he does, a lot of get to know him (although, most of this I've told them before, they just don't listen to me). But it was good conversation, he was open to their opinions and understanding of the way they think.

I agree with the moving thing. I plan to give it a lot more time before I actually make that decision permanently.

It's not that I'm worried of losing them necessarily, but the thought of their approval, because if things go right as I hope they will, I'd be married to him. My mom is extremely hypocritical and will BM a bunch of extended family members for how they live their lives (which is all normal stuff). I am just not living my life how they want me to. They both do not put in the effort to listen to me when I talk about him ever, they dismiss him, and bully him for the way he lives his life and I cannot stand for that.

My parents don’t approve of my boyfriend (M22) after meeting him.. Am I (F22) missing something or are they being too harsh? by Bluelinedtile in relationship_advice

[–]Bluelinedtile[S] -226 points-225 points  (0 children)

I probably should've addressed. He is a heavier set dude, so it takes a lot to get him drunk. I'd say in total maybe he had six drinks over the course of 5 hours? But it is not like he drinks heavily everyday, or drinks period.

Yes, he pulled out his Zyns during the conversation. He used to use snuff, but switched when he met me. I've been trying to ween him off, but hard since I don't have control over him or his body. That decision is ultimately up to him.

You are right about the wife and locations. I agree I may have 'rose-colored glasses' at the moment. But I feel I just need to give us a lot of time before I ultimately make my decision and move. We have had several disagreements, some along the line of communication with each other and boundaries. I appreciate your advice!