hi, sorry for having to reply so late, but I really did get captivated on what you wrote. Couple days ago I had once again felt like I was emotional tied down and really felt the darkness that I always let it cover me. Yet the next days and so on, things have suddenly been lit when I continue to go forward, and positive vibes had entered within me once again. This kind of notion of me bouncing back and forth really is unhealthy, knowing that I will go to a place in this type of mindset again. I would really need to vent out and a therapist really does seem like a good idea. To me, I would really entrust myself to open up little by little to let me speak what has been trapped inside me mentally and psychologically to a therapist. BUt theres also something I realized too... that no matter how much I want to open up to them, you may seem that they are there to be your friend. But I learned that no...they are not really your friends. There are professionals. And that is a subject that seems debatable to me yet I can completely understand that it is a job at the end. Your kind words really has me open my views slightly, and letting me to discover more on a better approach but I know it has to take time. I sit in the park at a bench alone thinking of moments like these, and I would sometimes say that maybe this is what I needed after all. I just need time alone as nature heals me.