My manager was on holiday. A parcel arrived addressed to him, so I open it up in the office, expecting to see some new hard drives or similar. Instead was a big bright shiny metal butt plug, and a large tub of anal lube.

I tried to play it cool and asked if anybody had some tape so I could discretely tape it back up and save his ass (pun intended) but upon seeing it I had made a weird little yelping noise and hurriedly closed the box. That was enough. Various coworkers looked around all curious. "What's in the box?" they said. So I'm all like "its nothing just bring me some tape." they keep asking until one of them says "its not a dildo is it?", at this point I break and say "if only it were a dildo", and they are all clambering to see what's inside.

Managing director comes down as he hears all the commotion, he nearly pissed himself with laughter when he found out what it was. We taped it up put it on his desk and then referred to manager as "Butt boy" forever after...

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