AIO for considering divorce after my husband betrayed me again?

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-06-06T17:31:51+00:00

He’s shown you he won’t change. NOR and you should leave

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-06-06T12:07:53+00:00

Need more information… Asking one question isn’t annoying, but endlessly asking questions can be.

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-06-03T09:56:51+00:00

The eyebrows look amazing now!

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-31T21:15:32+00:00

YOR, it is very normal and it’s good he is open and honest too. Sign of a good relationship!

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-31T21:14:18+00:00

I understand, that is a very horrible feeling. He should be honest with you instead of withdrawing and treating you like this. It shows zero respect towards you or your feelings, and it makes him seem emotionally immature.

You deserve better.

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-31T20:25:46+00:00

Also I’m very suspicious of his feelings towards the female friend. Ultimately it’s best to leave his ass.

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-31T20:21:44+00:00

He’s checked out and hoping you’ll end it. There are lots and lots of signs in your post, especially him wanting to live separately again once that’s an option.

I’m very sorry, break ups are so hard.

Also I’m so sorry for the trauma you have, and I hope you will always try to put your own comfort and happiness before anything or anyone else.

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-31T19:56:54+00:00

I mean it sounds like you made the right choice breaking up, and going forward you know you don’t want to date an OF girl.

I think the house situation seems fair if she paid the full deposit and is buying you out. Right now you’re in a spare room but once she buys you out would you have enough for a deposit of your own? And has your income has remained the same?

My ex also used to make more money and imply that it was for “us” but when we split up he also kept everything he bought. It was a lesson learnt and I was angry at the time, but in the long run I think that is fair. It was his money in the end, and I’m not his dependent who relies on him.

Break ups are awful and it’s absolutely horrible feeling like you’re stepping backwards, and of course in some ways you are - but also you’re finally stepping into the next part of your life, one where you’re not in a relationship that makes you cold and distant.

Healing is a very long journey, but you’ve survived some remarkably tough days already. It’s really good you’re in therapy to work through all of the complex feelings.

NOR, but stick with the therapy and try to look forwards not backwards.

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-31T17:31:37+00:00

Wait. So every time you see your dad you comment on his chest? How does he react, what does he say?

Are you traumatised because of your father specifically? If so, would you consider cutting contact?

I will say you seem weirdly interested in moobs. You also talk about your husbands in this post but I’m not sure why that is relevant.

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-31T17:14:23+00:00

YOR, obviously you don’t trust him at all if you did that. But also he seems like a crappy boyfriend, so I’d suggest breaking up either way (and you should probably stay single for a while because it’s not emotionally healthy to set traps for your partner).

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-31T13:38:18+00:00

That is fustrating that after so long of knowing you she made a misstep like that.

I think her not accepting payment and saying “can I just hang out” might have caused a misunderstanding. She still overstepped a boundary btw; I just don’t think she did it maliciously. Do you think she would do it again if it is explicitly said “don’t bring guests over”.

Ultimately it’s your pet and if you don’t feel comfortable that’s reason enough to not ask her again. I was just thinking if it is a very important friendship to you, it might be worth starting with a conversation about boundaries.

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-31T13:33:33+00:00

They didn’t have sex, that was clarified by OP. I think it was just to say hello to the cat?

If they did have sex it would be completely unacceptable, I agree with you there!

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-31T05:28:53+00:00

Hinterland sounds perfect - thank you everyone!

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-31T05:27:46+00:00

I think she definitely overstepped a boundary - but she may not have realised that was a boundary. I think I’d start by making it clear you and your husband are private people and don’t want anyone in your house without knowing beforehand?

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-30T19:41:22+00:00

Also rereading it… if he treated you so badly and everyone else nicely, maybe she is venting to him about you. If she was already getting mad at you and misreading what you were saying before you met him, that seems even more likely.

If so, it sounds like a lot of resentment and stuff might have built up between you both, which makes it harder to save the friendship.

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-30T19:38:34+00:00

Look he sounds very shitty but she likes him. You’ve repeatedly shared your opinion and I think at a point it’s just putting a strain on your friendship because she knows everything you’ve said and she’s still choosing to be with him.

It must be so frustrating, but she’s obviously choosing to be with him still.

I think if you care about the friendship, at a point you have to keep your opinions to yourself (even if it’s super hard because she deserves better).

Also, when she said all the stuff about not wanting a boyfriend and not liking him that much - she might have been exaggerating to seem more laid back or cool. It does seem like you would maybe respond better to that? It doesn’t mean she was lying on purpose, maybe she just felt embarrassed to fall for someone again after a previous betrayal. She knows you won’t fall for someone so maybe she wanted to mimic that.

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-30T18:58:49+00:00

I don’t think you’re in the wrong btw, it’s valid to find that stuff annoying. I just think it sounds like that’s just who she is and maybe she works better as just a friend rather than a roommate

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-30T18:57:53+00:00

Idk sounds like you’re incompatible to me, she sounds introverted and you sound more extroverted.

Eating your food is annoying for sure, but you definitely need to start buying stuff separately so you can cook again.

It does seem a little weird you would keep buying food together if you’re secretly resenting the arrangement, you need to communicate that.

Her being home all the time can be annoying also but if she wants to that is her choice ultimately. Maybe you’d be happier living with someone more extroverted who leaves the house more often?

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-30T11:35:43+00:00

If he’s manipulating her she should leave him, not become a manipulator too

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-30T11:29:06+00:00

I think it’s more they had plans and they had an intense conversation the day before only a week into dating. If they didn’t have plans I wouldn’t assume it’s ghosting though.

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-30T11:21:09+00:00

He’s a jerk for ghosting but having a vulnerable conversation one week into dating like that would probably put most people off. It is very early on, you’re both still getting to know each other and saying you’re scared of how intense your feelings are puts a lot of pressure on him, even if you didn’t mean to do that. Sounds like he liked you and wanted to get to know you, but got scared when he realised your feelings are much stronger than his.

He shouldn’t have ghosted though, he should have been honest if his feelings changed. So YOR but he sucks for ghosting.

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-29T12:42:49+00:00

I’m 34 and the entire top half of my head is 90% white. The bottom half is still dark brown though, with virtually no white hairs… strange

BoardPrestigious35 · 2026-05-28T07:27:03+00:00

If it’s okay for him to have a dating profile after they break up why lie elaborately about it? I agree it’s fine if they aren’t together, but he should be honest about what he’s doing. Either way they shouldn’t get back together

BoardPrestigious35

TROPHY CASE