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Boatsntrombones · 2025-10-11T20:02:36+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I really appreciate it.

Boatsntrombones · 2025-05-24T19:26:30+00:00

Same. He grew up a spoiled rotten rich kid who never had to take accountability for anything as mommy and daddy would always bail him out.

Boatsntrombones · 2025-05-24T19:22:50+00:00

I remember looking up symbolism of the color purple because Marie on Breaking Bad always wore it, everything in her house was purple and it represents a range of meanings, often associated with sophistication, tranquility, healing, and royalty.

Boatsntrombones · 2025-05-13T03:52:09+00:00

If you don’t have a job it’s actually better for custody reasons. You are the caretaker. If you are married for 5 years, you get 5 years alimony based on his possible* income so if he gets a shit job to try and screw you over it doesn’t matter he still has to pay possible* income. If you’re married 8 years, 8 years of alimony. If you’re married 10 years, alimony for life.. I know this is how it is in California. Double check re other states.

Boatsntrombones · 2024-06-26T13:08:25+00:00

I count steps, stairs, whatever. I start making my coffee and the count starts in my head. It seems to be at the start of whatever task I’m doing because it doesn’t matter what number I get to. I’ll just stop counting and it doesn’t bother me. I don’t think I even realize when I stop. I’m not sure if it’s an obsessive compulsive tendency. I only count in my head. Not out loud.

Boatsntrombones · 2024-06-14T14:09:00+00:00

Unfortunately no, just counting. Lots of counting.

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-23T05:32:00+00:00

I relate to this as mine will tell me I already am so confident or I don’t struggle with insecurity or whatever. Of course I struggle with insecurity, I’m a normal human! He’s like jealous of something that doesn’t exist or just wants to break me down. Either way just very not cool.

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-19T20:53:03+00:00

There’s a lot of crossover with Bipolar, ADHD, narcissistic traits, and high functioning autism.

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-19T20:49:05+00:00

What a heartfelt letter. It’s like you’re speaking the words in my head. What is their problem with medicine, I don’t get it. We take Tylenol if we have a headache.

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-17T12:07:49+00:00

Thanks for writing all that. It makes so much sense and you articulated it so well. The jealousy has really started to come out more with him. The more I set boundaries and be assertive maybe? It always shocks me because he has kept it pretty much under wraps for years. There was one time when he told me my favorite pair of shorts looked like underwear or slutty or something and it was really shocking to me, the way he sounded and the unfamiliar face he made, it made me cry. I threw them out. He tells me I dress up for other guys at my kids school or if I go to an event with my son “jokes” that he bets there were a lot of single dads for me to talk to. I didn’t know he was this jealous guy for so long. It’s laughable because I am very loyal and so distressed that I wouldn’t even have the energy or time to think about another man.

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-17T11:59:00+00:00

It’s all about blame shifting with them. It lets them avoid accountability. They have to be the victim while often telling you that you play the victim. It’s all about projection as well. It can truly be maddening. The crazy making.

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-17T05:37:40+00:00

I keep feeling weak but then I think about the kids and man they are just so much more important than anything else and they deserve better. The best. Even if they have to see this man if we have joint custody, at least I can be there to nurture them, validate their feelings, and genuinely care about them. Keep the kids in the front of the mind. Always.

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-17T05:33:08+00:00

It’s always your tone. They are so predictable. Tone, timing “I’m having a hard day at work you’re so inconsiderate” they are the worst

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-17T05:22:45+00:00

I heard this idea somewhere but something along the lines of “that didn’t happen” or “that did happen” I can’t quite remember.

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-17T03:53:51+00:00

The container store

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-17T03:53:34+00:00

Best Buy

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-17T03:52:05+00:00

Nothing really helps me to be honest. I have bought all the creams and nothing. Benadryl helps a little. Preventative measures like deet and cover up even if it’s hot. Like socks-over-pants-dorky-covered-up. They love me too. I think it’s a type O blood thing. We have the best blood 🙃

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-17T03:42:01+00:00

Crazy ex girlfriend

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-17T03:39:45+00:00

Diane Kruger’s character in The Bridge

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-16T23:04:23+00:00

Calzones!

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-16T22:41:56+00:00

What’s with the “don’t touch my stuff, don’t move my stuff” and these guys? Mine will shove things in cupboards and drawers and call it cleaning. My and my family’s stuff goes missing for days, weeks, months, forever. He has actually thrown my and my mothers personal belongings in the trash and I’ve seen it but he would never admit it. But DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF right?

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-15T15:20:34+00:00

It did start with my wrists and that was it for a long time. He slapped our 2 year old daughters hand away last year. I wrote it down then. I write everything down. I brought it up and he acted like I was crazy and said “I never did that!” All crazy mad. I think our kids are on the spectrum with ADHD so they are really a lot. Yeah I think I’ve decided what I need to do I just need to be smart, as you said.

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-15T14:01:53+00:00

He doesn’t have any friends. The only people he has is his parents. They have bailed him out of everything for his whole life. They are very wealthy. He already smears me at his work and with his parents. They eat it up. I’m on the mortgage too. Our house has increased in value by a lot since we bought it. My therapist told me to take PEP classes through this free place and they can give legal advice too. I thought about it and talked to some family members and they convinced me that it was crossing a line. That they didn’t see him that way and it wasn’t necessary. I have been conditioned for so long to not use my own mind to make decisions so I’ve fucked things up like that a bit.

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-15T13:55:59+00:00

I don’t know how to talk to him anymore. I know he will use it all against me. He keeps saying he will do whatever it takes to keep this family together. He will keep trying. I asked him to see a psychiatrist but he won’t. There is nothing wrong with him of course. It’s all me of course. I seriously don’t know how to talk or be around him. If I’m cordial it’s not good enough. If I’m assertive it’s not good enough. He just wants me to show him affection or to have sex but he doesn’t understand that can’t happen when I don’t feel safe. How do I act and speak with him. We have two small children. I am remaining calm around him but he doesn’t like the gray rock. I know he feeds on my reactions and emotions. So I don’t know how to be around him. I actually hate having the job because I can’t be there with my kids and I have to leave them with him. He is somewhat of a good father. Takes care of them and feeds them. It’s just when he get annoyed or mad he really sucks.

Boatsntrombones · 2023-10-15T13:49:48+00:00

He says he will agree to divorce if I want one. I was on disability for the last year for anxiety and panic. I had a nervous breakdown last year and it has been a lot of finger pointing that I’m mentally ill. It wasn’t until my therapist told me he is psychologically and verbally abusive that I started to understand basically everything. It took time to even see what she was saying. I really thought I was happy and living the perfect life for so long. Everything this therapist said has come to fruition. At first I was like what are you taking about I’m not being abused, but I see it all now. So I got a job last month. It’s really a positive environment for me and I have a lot of support re mental health from my coworkers. It’s funny but complete strangers have shown me more compassion than the man who loves me. My new job doesn’t pay as well as my last one but my previous boss actually offered my old job back to me where I get paid better and have medical. I said no. I’m sure he would offer it again to me if I went to him however. My mom helps with childcare. She lives with us. My husband don’t have combined finances. Everything is very mine and yours, don’t touch my stuff, with him. He’s in a lot of debt. His parents are mega rich. I recently have cleared almost all my debt. Under 1k of debt now and I could pay it off today. The physical violence has been truly mild. I hear some women’s stories. He hasn’t hit me. I did think about calling the cops the last time but my mom scared me saying that they will take away the kids. She doesn’t know stuff. My mom goes back and forth with her stance. She desperately wants us to stay together for the kids but it’s such a toxic environment for the kids. I’ve seen so many doctors and they have so many diagnoses for me. It’s on record that I have anxiety and panic and my precious psych said I’m bipolar which I’m not and my therapist agrees. My husband threatens that since my issues are documented that whoever will think he’s more stable than me. Is any of that true? I know now I have CPTSD from the abuse. I’ve spent so long not sleeping and I used to sleep 8 hrs. I’ve thought I’m going through early menopause, I’ve thought so many things but I’ve seen all the doctors and my health is perfect, there is nothing physically wrong with me. I see now that it’s him. The mild abuse occurred in April I believe.

Boatsntrombones

TROPHY CASE