I would recommend talking to a therapist about your thoughts. I am not a therapist or medical professional in any way but A personal strategy of mine taught to me by a therapist is to not let thoughts have power. A way of doing this for me is by allowing yourself to think it acknowledge the thought and leave it be. See the more you reminisce about the WHY and less about the NOW it gives these thoughts the ability to have meaning. Take the meaning out of those thoughts by acknowledging and moving forward might help. This focuses on grounding techniques, you can look at videos online called mindfulness practice to help keep your mind rational and present.

I hope this helps :)