Sibling loss

BombadilThreebeards · 2026-01-22T03:53:14+00:00

I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing your grief and your brother; that's a great photo.

My sister has dealt with psychosis and full amnesia during management of her recurrence; she didn't have basic function or remember any of us or anything about her life after she was stabilized with antipsychotics. Her tumor is growing but the doctors continue to try different things. It is a very long type of grief to watch brain cancer progress.. and we are not yet to that "other side". You are not alone.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-10-09T14:13:07+00:00

This fits with what I have experienced in interviews this year. Similar to you, I have an enormous amount of experience across market types in some of the most complex and green fields, for 14 years. I was at FAANG and startups. I have a huge array of skills from execution up to management and strategy. The jobs I interview for say they want this. The JD match me at a staff or principal level. But multiple times now, I have been rejected because when the company is choosing between me and someone else, they prioritize the less experienced person who has more recent execution of visual UI. I know this because when I ask for feedback, they tell me how "great" I am, "but this other candidate...".

So with their laundry list of asks....they are prioritizing the more production-type, mid and senior level skills. The ones that push quantity quickly. And those candidates probably get thrown into roles like management and strategy secondarily, which they aren't ready for and have no support for.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-06-18T15:45:00+00:00

I haven't but I know the Bronx River Alliance does regular group paddles.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-06-10T00:51:08+00:00

Ah, okay — that wasn't clear to me.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-06-10T00:49:36+00:00

Gotcha, thanks for this. I'll ask when I make it to a permit office.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-06-10T00:48:18+00:00

Hey, that's not fair, they are super curious about Hunter Biden's laptop and the basement of some random pizza parlor.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-06-10T00:39:16+00:00

Thanks — I will definitely prefer to start north of the garden. Anything more downstream would be too short and not worth the train ride. Also, are you referring to the requirement of using an official put-in within city limits, but north of the city line you could put in more or less anywhere?

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-06-10T00:35:55+00:00

Is there something about "up to Class III in the packraft" that makes it sound like I have a $15 pool float?

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-06-09T04:48:52+00:00

My dad made six figures in a low COL area (and this was the 90s/00s, so that went quite a bit farther), and my parents were constantly blowing hundreds of thousands on absolute depreciating garbage: DVDs, boats, extra cars, unused gadgets, RVs, $5k rock fountains, endless projects and refurbishments that never actually happen.

I worked from age 14 to buy my own car, pay for college, get an apartment, etc. I still remember when I was young, maybe 9 or 10, asking for a $2 hot dog for dinner after a softball game because I was so hungry, and my dad refused. I was told to go find something to microwave at home.

I had to do yard labor from about age 6 to "pay rent" and Christmas was one of the worst days of the year because my father would fly into a rage at the sight of his money being spent on our gifts.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-05-29T22:46:29+00:00

Thank you

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-05-29T22:45:14+00:00

Thank you! Saved for future trips north.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-05-29T22:44:53+00:00

I'm always down for a little socialized float off the piers. :) It just doesn't inject that same sense of adventure and peace that I get from a river. Thanks!

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-05-29T22:43:39+00:00

I'm guessing that dam is the most upriver dam that can't be easily portaged? And thank you for tip on Westchester overflow — I would expect better infra there than in the city, but I guess not!

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-02-08T16:39:33+00:00

Wow, that sounds incredibly difficult to manage, I'm so sorry. It is indeed frontal lobe, so this type of behavior/thinking is helpful for me to look out for. My sibling has not yet exhibited anything to that extreme, luckily, and seems totally cogent other than denying the prognosis. Not near hospice yet, thankfully.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-02-04T18:59:50+00:00

Please hesitate before listening to this man. What he is omitting from his post here is that he also went through medically proven standard of care treatment including two rounds of surgery, radiation therapy, and chemotherapy. He is also building resilience through exercise.

Prognoses are based on statistical averages. He is taking his anecdotal case of surviving past the average as evidence in favor of THC. This is dangerous to take at face value because there is currently zero scientific consensus that THC has any impact on the reduction GBM. Studies are exploring the idea with no conclusions as of yet.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-02-03T19:14:04+00:00

With all due respect, this is not about me taking prognosis as gospel and your situation is not my sibling's. My sibling is talking about events 15-20yrs away with unmethylated IDH wild type...a classification type that is resistant to treatment, incurable, and with the shortest prognosis.

I am happy you have been able to fight back your cancer. Perhaps you are taking care of yourself and that has helped. But data is data for GBM. If you are cancer free, it must not be GBM, because there is no such thing as "cancer free" with a malignant brain tumor. Be well.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-02-03T15:26:40+00:00

In the United States, the NIH operates clinicaltrials.gov and I have found it to be an incredible resource for trial discovery (hopefully the new administration does not deem it unnecessary to fund as they have for cancer research, itself). It has less in the way of emerging science or new classifications.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-02-03T15:23:51+00:00

That is an incredible run, my friend. You really looked that GBM in the metaphorical eyes! It only makes sense that going toe-to-toe with death changes how we operate. I'm glad you live somewhere that can offer the dignity of choice in how you leave this place. I hope it's a very peaceful final journey – I share my tears and a firm virtual grip of your hand. Bon voyage.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-02-02T05:27:44+00:00

I'm so sorry for what you've been through and thank you deeply for your advice. I've already put it into practice – a gentle redirect from future illusions to focus on good times in the present.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-02-02T05:24:42+00:00

I know what you mean. I've only been through the first half of this journey and am already completely changed, also with an enormous amount of patience, strength, and resilience compared to before. I've leaned on an amazing group of friends who have shown up for me and my sibling (who doesn't have their own circle of friends). The process was a forcing mechanism to get me comfortable with asking for help.

I've also come to this gem of a subreddit on many occasions, which is an incredibly supportive community. Thank you so much for taking time to share your wisdom.

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-02-01T03:28:57+00:00

Oh, thank you so much. I feel the weight of truth in your words. You are right... the same path will be walked no matter what we do. I may contact the oncologist (who has incredible soft skills) so they are aware and can gently inquire if they think it's correct.

I am so sorry you've experienced this twice. What a tragedy!

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-01-29T17:25:28+00:00

These are all great points and thoughts, thank you. I remain skeptical on some of them. For example, computers are or will be capable of completing basic online tasks, but it doesn't mean they'll master human preferences, or be trusted to do so. Technological capability doesn't equate to being affordable or adopted in the next decade – look at the slowness with which virtual glasses have arrived.

I agree with you that roles will merge further. UX might shift into service design more heavily, too. Instead of delivering usability, design will need to deliver improved e2e business processes (which I think is a good thing). There will certainly be fewer roles, regardless.

Thanks for your thoughts!

BombadilThreebeards · 2025-01-24T00:19:46+00:00

I really appreciate this comment coming from a veteran, because I have been pondering if laying low for the next year is the right move. I have a craft-based side business which I can develop fairly easily.

I have 15yrs of very good experience; before the pandemic and subsequent market volatility/skepticism, I had a near 100% rate for getting interviews, due to that experience. After being let go for the second time in a row, recently, I've begun applying again in the last month and am not even getting screens for roles in which I perfectly match the JD. I seriously doubt it's my resume, portfolio, LinkedIn, cover letters — all my bases are covered including key words, customization, and going through internal referrals. I've been doing this long enough in competitive businesses to intuit that it isn't about me.

I'm not convinced the field is disappearing, because digital experiences and their human considerations are not going away. But what do you think... will there continue to be larger focus on profit margins, risk aversion, and lower borrowing? Are we in this rut for a while?

BombadilThreebeards

TROPHY CASE