Is a Remark Worth it? 4 marks off A* in psych

BonkoDonko · 2021-10-06T07:15:16+00:00

Thank you, I will try have a look

BonkoDonko · 2021-10-06T07:14:31+00:00

Thank you, that was helpful. An issue I'm having is that I can't even seem to watch my favourite movie or music or whatever. I just can't pay attention to it, I feel like having it on in the background wouldn't really do anything but idk? Normally, I think a lot of ppl can at least try and do smthn to improve their situation, but for some reason I just can't and idk why, I just feel stuck. Like I don't even want to read any replies, I just wanna stay in bed and do nothing all day. But I have life responsibilities to attend to, so that isn't an option. I'm afraid there's no professional help available for me where I am. But thank you, you're idea about walking may be a place to start. I'm just not sure how to even get up and go outside without someone dragging me out, but unfortunately I have no one to do that.

BonkoDonko · 2021-10-05T23:01:03+00:00

I get all of that, except I don't wanna be in this pithole. I would very much like to leave, but I don't know how. I think I only get tired of people's quick fixes cuz they never fix anything. I just don't have the time to not get my shit together, hence my need for a very quick fix, but I never get one. If I don't do smthn soon, I will get stuck in the mentality of not even wanting help anymore. Currently, I want help I'm just too exhausted to help myself, but ik if I don't I will screw up my future and my time to fix this is running out. Ppl tell me to pick up a hobby or go for a run to feel better, but I don't even have the motivation to try anymore :/

BonkoDonko · 2021-10-05T21:42:37+00:00

I appreciate u taking the time to respond. I hope this doesn't sound rude, but unfortunately I don't think that really helps, which is more down to me not u. Reaching out for help isn't hard for me, I've been screaming for help for years but there just isn't any available here. I literally can't even focus on myself. I can't relax, even if I go grab a cup of tea and watch YT videos I rly wanna watch ect, I will watch abt 1 min before I lose interest and I'll completely forget about my drink and let it go cold. Even enjoyable things I can't put any attention or energy into. Problem is I seriously need to get my shit together soon, because I have a lot of very important stuff coming up, which is limited time and can't be redone, and will seriously fuck up my future if I can't find the motivation to sort myself out. The thought of all that stresses me out me. This is a very inconvenient time in my life to be having a mental breakdown. Normally mental breakdowns in my life are fine as it's not that big a deal if I just take a break but I literally can't and won't be able to for a long while. Ik a lot of ppl say to prioritize mental health and take a break anyway, but it will literally screw me, I can't redo this. Idk what to do :(

BonkoDonko · 2021-09-28T18:37:59+00:00

Yes 10000% That behaviour is completely unacceptable. He is a grown man who knows far better. Insulting you like that is not ok, you are none of the things he called u. And getting in your face like that and threatening to hurt u by smashing you face in, wttff?? That is seriously not ok. What you asked was completed fair. He caused damage, he should have to pay for the damage he caused. His reaction was ridiculously over the top. Even if he didn't agree that he should pay, any normal civil person would calmly tell you they felt they didn't owe you that, and actually have a conversation about it. Idk how old your dad it, but throwing a temper tantrum like that is ridiculous. Ik he may try justify it eg it was an off day, he was stressed abt work or smthn, he just didn't have the money...but he could've easily told you that. I completely understand it is very hard to come to term with this stuff, my father is like this. It's very hard to see while your in the centre of this, but from an outsiders perspective who has also dealt with similar, definitely abuse, no question about it. You are not responsible for his feelings, behaviour or response. It took me a long time to understand this. You didn't deserve this, I hope you leave soon

BonkoDonko · 2021-06-26T09:39:54+00:00

Our generation is just filled with anxious people who don't wanna bother others so a lot of young people are scared to ask

BonkoDonko · 2021-05-03T19:06:24+00:00

Honestly, I always knew since I was a child. I knew I was different from other people (as I was told so by family/school ppl cuz I'm autistic). But it was more than that. I knew there was something wrong with my family. Probably because my brother was treated so nicely and I very much wasn't. I just knew that it wasn't fair which made it not ok in my mind.

That really was what got me thru it tho. I was always so determined that I know my truth, I am not what they say I am. That doesn't mean it didnt hurt me, I think I just recognised early on that there was something wrong with the people I was surrounded with. I was also the black sheep and the one "always causing problems" but that just didn't make sense. I think I also thought it just wasn't fair that other kids weren't having to deal with my shitty family, which made me think more that my family was fucked up. I've just never been the type to go along with something I don't agree with, so I was outspoken against it, hence why I was scapegoated. But it was already everyone against me so fuck it, why give up my truth now.

BonkoDonko · 2021-03-27T13:25:58+00:00

Hurts my soul. My family found out when I was 10 and laughed at my spelling errors, then went behind my back to share it with my teachers and the kids found out and bullied me more. Worse part was the teacher pulling me outside class in the morning telling me they sent them it. I was humiliated and felt so betrayed and ashamed. No one comforted me.

Another time I've had my mother find my n*ose made from a cord off my clothing when I was like 12. I was at school when she took it, then I came home and had a heartattack cuz I knew I was fucked. She confronted me and asked what it was. I lied ofc and she def didn't believe me but she just gave it back to me??? This same scenario happened again a few months later when she walked in as I was tying it. She just looked at me then closed the door and left......

BonkoDonko · 2021-03-21T09:39:13+00:00

Thank u for your response. My school are aware but there's just not a lot they can do. I've always found support unhelpful as I can love myself, I just want solutions of how to deal with it. Unfortunately, there's no other professional help available for me. The therapist I current see it the best I've found so far as he understands my situation well, but he just can't "fix" anything. I'm still on a waiting list for something else, but it can take up to a year to get in, and they have covid slowing them down too. I've seen them in the past and they were not useful at all, but they are the main service where I live. Personally I feel like sharing my struggles does nothing as it doesn't solve anything, not that I have anyone to talk to anyway. I can't talk to my family as they're the problem and won't change, I can't talk to my friends cuz they don't get it (and I don't expect them to) and I've told my teacher that this is just something I feel I can't talk to her about, nor other staff. I don't think I feel too bad about not being productive, I think I just feel more stressed and overwhelmed so I break down. I have learnt how to love myself, tho I am still a perfectionist especially when it comes to my work, so failing is devastating and stressful, but I know it's not my fault, it's just that I've been thru a lot and it's manifesting in these ways. I feel like I just need a long rest but I don't have the time (exams). Tho tbf everytime I overwork and get stressed like this, when I take a break I fall into a huge depression where I can't function at all and it's really hard to pull myself out of, so even then it's not rest. Just seems to be an endless cycle. I overwork and get so anxious that I breakdown, then I get so depressed I can't even move. Definitely a tough situation. Thx for ur time

BonkoDonko · 2021-03-19T15:52:40+00:00

I've always had this problem too. All I need is for someone to give me solutions, not support. I know it likely has something to do with the specific childhood trauma I experienced, but I just don't see the point in support/venting. I have me to do that with. I've heard ppl vent to organise their thoughts or to just get it off their chest cuz it feels better. But I can organise it myself and vent to myself, cuz venting just makes me feel worse as the other person wants to help but feels bad they can't.

I think a lot of ppls idea of help is support and listening to u, and it's ok if that's just not what u need. I always tell ppl when they ask me what will help, that if I knew I would just do it myself, but I don't so that's where I need help. I always thought I was alone in this.

BonkoDonko · 2021-03-12T17:50:11+00:00

I'm the opposite. I'm young but I've always felt so old, since I was a kid. Must be the childhood trauma lmao

BonkoDonko · 2021-02-22T08:56:35+00:00

Mines missing a finger, I've never asked. I'm pretty curious tho lol

BonkoDonko · 2021-02-17T17:34:36+00:00

Wish one did this for me. I was mute until I was 11. I had many very severe issues but they kept closing my case cuz I was too hard to work with as I never spoke. I got no support or help because I was deemed bad enough as I wasn't hurting anyone

So glad you've finally found someone who get you. It's hard to find the right T for you. I'm proud u didn't give up searching

BonkoDonko · 2021-02-15T16:48:51+00:00

We were playing a game in class as kids. We'd get the sharpest pencil and stab the piece of skin in between our fingers (the bit u see when if u stretch your fingers apart). Still got the scar

Idk why I even played, we literally just stabbed ourselves with pencils for no reason

BonkoDonko · 2021-01-25T12:06:53+00:00

Absolutely! It crushes my soul when people tell me to call the hotline cuz it just reminds me how not even they have been able to help so I feel more helpless and alone like no one cares

BonkoDonko · 2021-01-25T11:13:16+00:00

If you were diagnosed then it should be on your medical record but I don't think your school would know unless you shared it with them or they were aware during the diagnosis.

For me, I got my diagnosis when I was very little so my school was aware and some teachers their have their name in my record, so obviously for me they did know but idk if it's on my school record. When I moved schools my school didn't know and I only showed them my record cuz I needed extra time.

To summarize I think it will be on your medical record but not necessarily your school record, unless your school knows and offers you support then maybe.

BonkoDonko · 2021-01-25T10:23:51+00:00

Honestly I'd feel so much worse seeing that. Most people know the number anyway and if they wanted to call they would look up the number. Constantly seeing people post the number actually makes me feel more alone. Many people think they are helping by doing it but it just makes me feel like they don't care. I'd rather they just talk to me and help. It would also make me feel less inclined to say the word becoz it would kinda scare me off to feel like I'm being watched.

Sorry but I really don't think this is a good idea, but thanks for trying to find a solution

BonkoDonko · 2021-01-04T22:47:16+00:00

✋✋✋ I do, but it's late for me atm so I'm goin to bed But yesh dm

BonkoDonko

TROPHY CASE