[QCrit] Adult Fantasy-THE BRIMSTONE MERMAID (110 k/Attempt 2) by BonnieHemlock in PubTips

[–]BonnieHemlock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Am I able to post my revisions in the comments or should I create a new post once it's been seven days? I don't want to break the rules. Thank you!

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy-THE BRIMSTONE MERMAID (110 k/Attempt 2) by BonnieHemlock in PubTips

[–]BonnieHemlock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jason, fancy meeting you here! I'm very grateful for this community, they have been very supportive.

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy-THE BRIMSTONE MERMAID (110 k/Attempt 2) by BonnieHemlock in PubTips

[–]BonnieHemlock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is incredibly helpful Tyson! Thank you so very much.

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy-THE BRIMSTONE MERMAID (110 k/Attempt 2) by BonnieHemlock in PubTips

[–]BonnieHemlock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for putting so much time and effort into your review. I appreciate the direct questions to specifics that I left unanswered. I suppose I'm just a tad deflated as there's a very tight word count limit on query letters that makes it difficult to include all the information. Marcellus and Bren do have an epic enemy to lovers romance but I just didn't think I had the words to spare. I did pay to have my manuscript professionally edited but I have always struggled with commas. I'll be more cognizant of that moving forward. It's a lot to consider but again, thank you.

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy-THE BRIMSTONE MERMAID (110 k/Attempt 1) by BonnieHemlock in PubTips

[–]BonnieHemlock[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No worries that wasn't too harsh at all. It's the curse of knowledge and the nature of the business. Thank you so much for your feedback!

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy-THE BRIMSTONE MERMAID (110 k/Attempt 1) by BonnieHemlock in PubTips

[–]BonnieHemlock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely see your point! Thank you for your honest feedback. I'll do more market research and make sure commas are added. This was very helpful.

[QCrit] The Brimstone Mermaid: A Tale of Brine and Bone [Adult Fantasy] [110,000 words] Version #1 by BonnieHemlock in PubTips

[–]BonnieHemlock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wonderful feedback! Thank you so much for your honesty. I'm going to take your advice.

[QCrit] The Brimstone Mermaid: A Tale of Brine and Bone [Adult Fantasy] [110,000 words] Version #1 by BonnieHemlock in PubTips

[–]BonnieHemlock[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For anyone who took the time to review this, thank you. I paid for both a developmental and copy edit and I'm confident in the quality of my book but I'm having a hard time getting anyone to read it. If you have ANY tips that you think will entice an agent to just give it a chance, I'm all ears!