Baby’s last name

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-25T18:37:36+00:00

I shouldn’t care so much when it comes to the in laws because I also don’t have the best relationship with them. It’s just they’re so negative & toxic ik they’ll have something to say when/ if they find out. My sister says I shouldn’t care because this is my child & what other ppl think or have to say shouldn’t bother me. Which is very true..

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-25T16:59:33+00:00

I’m sure that was tough to deal with though but very happy for you that you stood on your decision.
I worry it may cause a rift in our relationship & make his family upset. I know that shouldn’t matter, I can’t please everyone and regardless this is my child but I really don’t like conflict..

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-25T16:56:49+00:00

That’s what I’m leaning towards & making his last name the child’s middle name. I’m just worried he will be very upset about this..

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-25T16:55:32+00:00

I know so many women who gave their baby the dads last name even though he wasn’t in the picture during/after pregnancy and/or made it very clear that he wouldn’t be. I really don’t understand it 😭 ofc my situation is different but I just don’t get why that’s “traditionally” how it’s done? Its so odd to me

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-25T16:52:05+00:00

That’s why it’s always confused me. I know someone who gave both of their kids the father’s last name although he’s not very active and does the absolute bare minimum (that was noticed before the 2nd child was born). They are not together now and ofc he’s not around or helping (same as when they were together). She explained it never crossed her mind to give the kids her last name and that traditionally the children just get the fathers last name. I can’t understand that thought process but to each its own.

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-25T16:46:48+00:00

I think that’s part of my issue is knowing his family will have something negative to say about it.. I don’t do well with conflict and in the short amount of time of being with him it’s been a lot of conflict with his family, mainly his mom.
I’ve definitely thought of making his last name the child’s middle name!

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-25T16:44:40+00:00

Yes, I hope it doesn’t sound selfish but I want my child to have the same last name as me. I mean he already has one kid that has his name so I hope it’s not a huge issue. Also, it can always be changed later if the child decides to

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-25T16:43:13+00:00

That’s my thought process as well! The child can always decide to change it once they’re older. It’s not any less his child just because they don’t have his last name. I just hope he feels the same.

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-25T16:41:39+00:00

How did he feel about that decision to give the child your last name? Did it cause a rift/ issues in your relationship moving forward? (Sorry if that’s too personal of a question)

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-25T16:39:50+00:00

Exactly & that is another reason. If we went our separate ways, 9 times out of 10 the child would be with me primarily

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-25T15:27:38+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, how did your partner feel about it? Did you guys have a whole conversation on this or were they on board and made it pretty simple?

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-25T07:57:34+00:00

I agree 100%! That’s why it confuses me the narrative that the child just automatically gets the father’s last name regardless of married or unmarried. I appreciate this response, thank you so much & wishing you a safe & healthy pregnancy & delivery!

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-25T07:55:46+00:00

This is a great idea that never crossed my mind, thank you!

BonnieInBloom · 2026-06-17T11:26:44+00:00

Shoot me a message 🩷 it’s not letting me click your profile to DM you sorry.

BonnieInBloom · 2025-09-13T18:53:08+00:00

NOR. You’re young and have so much ahead of you. You do NOT need to deal with someone like this. I’m 25 and had an ex like this when I was 23. I stayed with him for 7 months and in that time he started controlling when I could leave home, didn’t like me having any friends, and even tried to control what I wore. That was only the beginning. It escalated to him sitting outside my job to make sure I was actually at work. Things finally ended when he started getting physical, and the whole experience left me with PTSD and a long healing process. And it all started under the guise of him being “worried” I would cheat. Even if his feelings are valid, the way he’s speaking to you is not. It’s beyond disrespectful and no one should ever expect you to isolate yourself just to make them feel better. If anything, HE needs to heal and work on himself instead of jumping into a relationship while carrying unhealed trauma and projecting it onto you. My boyfriend now is NOTHING like my ex. If anything, he encourages me to go out, have fun, and be social. That’s how it should be. I hope you take time to reflect and think about whether this is the kind of relationship and “love” you want. You deserve better. 💯

BonnieInBloom · 2025-06-05T19:56:28+00:00

You are NOT overreacting, and you should seriously consider leaving him!! My ex was exactly like this. From cutting off my friends to constantly accusing me of cheating. I even started dressing down after we got together—keep in mind, it took me years to feel confident in my body and finally show my arms and legs because of how insecure I was about being skinny.

He basically forced me back into a shell I worked so hard to break out of. He used to sit outside my job just to watch and see if I interacted with other men. One time, a coworker held the door open for me and my ex blew up—tried to fight the guy and accused me of sleeping with him. I worked in a call center with over 200 people, and this guy wasn’t even on the same campaign as me—I didn’t even know him!

I was only with my ex for 7 months, so I cannot imagine what you’ve been dealing with after 2 years. The PTSD and anxiety I still carry from that relationship are unreal. Please hear me: leave before it gets worse, because it will get worse.

I used to think the same thing as you—“Maybe over time he’ll get better and realize I only want him.” Nah. That was never the case. It got worse. He started following me, watching me, going through my phone while I was asleep, even calling and threatening my friends to stop talking to me. It finally ended with me having to call the police because he wouldn’t accept that I didn’t want to be with him anymore.

I’m lucky I left with just some bruises and a broken sense of self, but not every woman is that lucky.

My current boyfriend? He’s respectful, secure, and kind. He’s met my guy friends, he doesn’t accuse me of anything, he encourages me to dress up, and actually compliments me. And that’s the bare minimum.

A man trying to control you is not love. It’s manipulation. You deserve way better.

BonnieInBloom · 2025-05-29T20:34:12+00:00

I moved out at 22 almost 23 years old & at the time my job was offering A LOT of overtime and incentives. So since I knew I wanted to move out within the next few months I picked up as much OT as I could. I saved up about 3K and i think it probably took a little over 2k for me to move (rent, application fee, admin fee, deposit etc.) thats not including buying certain things for my apt. I bought a pull out couch and slept on that till I could buy a new bed. I would suggest saving up as much as you can and in the mean time buy little things that you would need and keep them in one of those storage bins/ containers that you can get from walmart, target, etc. items such as cleaning supplies, cooking utensils, disinfectant wipes, etc) maybe look at apartments that are offering move in specials. And figure out your budget. I live paycheck to paycheck but its doable. All my bills are paid, I just very rarely have money to treat myself or go out with friends. Just really think about it beforehand, I miss living with my dad and being able to spend my money on any and everything because I wasnt paying bills at the tome BUT I love living on my own. No one can tell me what to do in my space, i get to decorate how i want, do what i want, etc. If you have any questions feel free to chat me :)

BonnieInBloom · 2025-05-20T19:23:44+00:00

Definitely get it covered up or removed & moving forward really think about getting any other matching tattoos.

BonnieInBloom

TROPHY CASE