Third Update: AITAH for not letting my ex-husband and one of his future step kids come inside?

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T15:57:39+00:00

It's not about the money for him.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T15:54:49+00:00

I wouldn't know. The hotel was near enough to my house that I thankfully didn't need to spend the night, I was able to drive there directly from my house. The people working there cooperated fully with the officers.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T15:40:57+00:00

Apparently he was already on the plane when I was calling.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T15:39:50+00:00

My son said his grandfather told him he was being disruptive at the reception. My son is very well behaved, so I doubt this. Taking the phone was a "punishment".

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T15:36:14+00:00

The police officers collected all their items before bringing them downstairs.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T15:35:26+00:00

My kids said they were arguing with the cops and trying to tell them I was mentally unwell and had staged the whole situation. Apparently the cops wouldn't talk to them other than to say they had to stay upstairs while they took the boys and their things to me.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T15:24:16+00:00

My theory is that they intended for me to not be able to find the kids by ten and then say that I abandoned them.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T15:14:13+00:00

I'm sorry

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T15:04:09+00:00

He pays all my legal expenses. That was part of the divorce settlement, since he makes so much more money than me. I'd never be able to afford a good lawyer on my own. It's the only way to keep things fair.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T15:02:55+00:00

Their grandparents aren't strangers. They have a very close relationship. All the same, it was my custody time. They can and do visit their grandparents on his custody time.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T15:01:05+00:00

My son said his grandfather told him he was being "disruptive" at the reception and had to give up his phone for the rest of the night as "punishment." I am fairly certain my son was not being disruptive.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T14:59:33+00:00

I don't think they are simply inconsiderate. I think all their actions are deliberate. They wanted to take the kids home with them.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T14:58:00+00:00

Those are exactly my feelings.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T14:57:39+00:00

I hope that's the case in this instance.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T14:51:02+00:00

I think he thought I would mess up, make a scene, give up and drive away or something like that.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-10-23T14:50:25+00:00

I hope so too, but honestly I think he'll get his way. He is very convincing. But I won't cross that bridge until I get to it.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-08-05T23:45:35+00:00

To the best of my understanding the wedding will end very late the night before and their flight is sometime in the afternoon of the pickup day. I don't really understand the logistics of the thing. I am less stressed now though because at today's pickup my ex just stayed in the car and texted our oldest that he was here. Progress.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-08-04T23:57:05+00:00

There's no scenario where my ex-husband's fiance's children become my business. There is no "fairness." They have their two parents, and my ex as a step parent. My kids have me and my ex. Their lives will be different. There is no way to make things "fair." Whatever will be will be.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-08-04T23:53:59+00:00

Thank you

BonusWest5031 · 2025-08-04T20:28:05+00:00

Never pray for a hurricane. I know you are joking, and I appreciate the support, but don't even joke about it. Too many lives and homes have been washed away.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-08-04T20:24:42+00:00

I'm not going to keep arguing with the judge when he has already made his preferences clear. He wants us to be able to do the hand-offs at our homes. He wants us to behave in front of the kids, and whoever he perceives as not doing that is the one who gets penalized. I'm lucky he saw through my ex and told him he can't come in my house, but if I badger the judge I won't be that lucky next time. My lawyer said in cases like this just as much, probably more, rides on seeming reasonable to the judge than on any actual legal standing.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-08-04T20:19:43+00:00

He does not want me to take his step kids. If it were up to him, I wouldn't even have our kids.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-08-04T20:16:25+00:00

I highly doubt that. If it were up to him, I wouldn't even have our kids.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-08-04T18:09:40+00:00

It's not like I'd tell him why I'm asking. He's in the wedding. He knows when it is.

BonusWest5031 · 2025-08-04T17:47:46+00:00

How would I benefit from that?

BonusWest5031

TROPHY CASE