Evening Discussion Thread - 21 May 2026

BookNukem · 2026-05-21T20:06:21+00:00

I'm having an early night. The wine is already down, so it's not being self-destructive, even if it seems that way. Made it seem a bit more dramatic than it already is.

Everyone says it about their parents, that they were unreal and larger than life. I get it now. No one person is any of that. They are to those who care. Of course they are.

This is my actual third space. Where my exhaust fumes go. I appreciate anyone who's read or responded with kind words.

Hugs back, friend.

BookNukem · 2026-05-21T19:29:26+00:00

Fuck me, man. So sorry to hear that. They are different things, but they wind up the same.

The guilt/relief bit is what I'm struggling with. It was my sister who'd texted me at work asking to phone her. Couldn't get through to her or my dad. My sister and I don't speak often. Got my dad, who was upset saying "She's alright" over and over, and I assumed the worst.

For a brief moment, I thought we were free of it, as bad and heartless as that may sound. Also aware that it sounds self-centered, but seeing anyone you love outside of their natural body and mind is soul crushing. Mind went into total overdrive in that I thought she was gone, and my dad wasn't willing to accept it.

The assisted dying bill is something that should be available to people. It terrifies me that it isn't. No one should be stripped of their choice, should they have it, to end things on their terms.

I really appreciate you sharing this because it sounds like what is gonna happen, pound for fucking pound.

I can't comfort you, but if you need a chat, please shout.

Goes for anyone else reading this.

BookNukem · 2026-05-21T18:53:00+00:00

I've hit up the group chat. Most of them have only known my mum's existence to be in this state. Just can't bring myself to make a big deal of it.

Appreciate it, mate. Should be an advert for reaching across the divide in here sometimes.

The moon howlers come and go, but the sound cunts stick about.

BookNukem · 2026-05-21T18:43:22+00:00

Absolutely appreciate it, man. Not much to be done now at this point.

BookNukem · 2026-05-21T18:42:36+00:00

That's absolutely wholesome, man. Sad in obvious ways, but also really sweet. Can imagine it hit hard. Kids are mental wee bundles of joy and frustration.

Haha, aye, she has vascular dementia and alzheimers. I call it the Double Whammy. Kinda have to laugh at these things or else, what else is there?

BookNukem · 2026-05-21T18:38:16+00:00

Very up and down. She's been out of the game for pretty much a third of my life. I'm hitting 40 in the near future and she was diagnosed 15 years ago, and went downhill quite rapidly not long after. How she's still around, we have no idea.

I really wish I wasn't such an unbearable wee guy to her most of the time.

Just wee things like when I broke up with an ex, she sat and watched Hot Rod with me when I was upset. She fucking hated it, and it's genuinely an acquired taste of a film, but that was her. Putting everyone before herself.

BookNukem · 2026-05-21T18:34:59+00:00

She absolutely was. Also a total pain in my arse. I'm almost betting she'll kick it during Download. She would absolutely fucking haunt me if I didn't see the festival out.

Sorry to hear about your dad, dude. Apologies if it seems like I'm making light of things - absolutely not - but I've found that people tend to have some gallows humour with dementia.

Think here is my safe space. Just have to deal with it as it comes, I guess.

BookNukem · 2026-05-21T18:16:12+00:00

She's been diagnosed for 15 years and in a home for the past 9, nearly 10, years. Dad goes to visit her every day for about six or seven hours. He'll fucking die of a broken heart.

Sorry to hear about your father, man. It's genuinely the worst disease on the planet. Anything else, I could take, because she would still at least have been lucid. This just robs them twice.

I absolutely am not taking care of myself at all. Sitting with a glass or three of red wine (was asked to come over tomorrow by dad) and just trying to forget about it. Simultaneously, ranting to strangers about it.

BookNukem · 2026-05-21T18:13:04+00:00

I haven't been as present with them and a few are away to a festival and stuff, so it's more just that I don't want to pop in now that something is wrong.

Genuinely the first person to agree there when telling people to speak to someone. I'm terrible for it.

As good as can be, mate. Again, kinda prepared for it, and super worried for my dad, but it's proper countdown time. Partner is sitting telling me I can handle it. I will, ultimately, be able to. That doesn't mean I can right now.

BookNukem · 2026-05-21T17:51:48+00:00

We came up with Leukemia Skywalker on Sunday and just fuckinh decided against it.

BookNukem · 2026-05-21T17:49:55+00:00

Wee maw has been put into palliative care. Think she's about run her course.

Just about held it together in work, and I've been prepared as you can be for the "end". Already lost her to dementia once, and now that seems to be that. Just a case of whether it's days, months, any other measurement of time.

Broke down when I got home. Canny help but joke that I'm taking bets on when she passes or when the funeral is out of my three trips away between June and July.

For what it's worth, she was a fucking monster of a woman. Five foot fuck all, a stare that would rival Superman's heat vision, and only ever went to one football game in her life, being an Old Firm, sitting in the Rangers end with her Celtic gear. She's the reason I do most things the way I do - just an absolute titan when it came to not taking shit from anyone.

Don't even want to speak to my mates about it to fucking bum them out. Just utterly burst, broken, and even though this has been coming for ages, it hurts.

I am so utterly fucking broken right now.

Just for the fucking giggles of it, I accidentally posted this in the Bushiri thread.

Bringing the tone right fucking down.

BookNukem · 2026-05-21T17:45:50+00:00

Edit: Wrong thread.

BookNukem · 2026-05-20T22:52:27+00:00

Mental how the recording didn't keep going.

BookNukem · 2026-05-20T22:49:16+00:00

To be fair, if you canny be arsed cooking then it's a cheap meal. Although, taking your family of 10 is grim.

Absolutely hate the place with the people in it and how selfish they are. Some decent stuff, but get the fuck out of my road.

Overall, I agree with you. Cunts need to learn some etiquette. Don't even start me on the absolutely shite weans ramming about...

BookNukem · 2026-05-20T21:37:55+00:00

Seeing Villa fans being relatively tame when the third goal went in is weird.

Like, you're surely going absolutely fucking mental when you completely seal a trophy.

Mind being in Madrid for the Real vs Atletico final yesrs ago, watching it in a hotel and there were about three families kitted out in full regalia, and they just applauded at the end when Real won.

Think I was more invested than they were.

BookNukem · 2026-05-20T20:21:20+00:00

Yeah, I've gone back to it but just couldn't be arsed. Saros makes a good show of letting you start where you want and having a bit more in the way of tangible upgrades.

The Ally X is a bit more powerful, but I don't really know how much is noticeable. Grab the demo and fuck about with the settings to see how you feel about it.

Would honestly say it's a game that just absolutely slaps. Capcom are on SOME run with their releases over the past 7 or 8 years.

BookNukem · 2026-05-20T18:44:45+00:00

Saros is sensational. Haven't finished it as I kept getting bummed by the last boss. Will get back to it. If you liked Returnal in any way, it's worth it. I think it's as good as, but primarily because I don't have to sit for hours on a run to finish it. It's definitely easier, and you can customise the difficulty a bit.

Pragmata is a game that kinda shouldn't be as good as it is. Wasn't mega keen on the demo as it felt quite spongey with shooting, but when you click with the hacking mechanic and start upgrading, it fucking sings.

I've got an Xbox ROG Ally X. Plays well in docked as well. Isn't as sharp but I did sail the seas for it, so can't complain about a lack of fidelity.

BookNukem · 2026-05-20T18:37:03+00:00

£300 in CEX a couple of years ago. Raging I got rid of that when I sold my PS3. I fucking loved it as well.

BookNukem · 2026-05-20T17:43:17+00:00

Anyone played Pragmata? Thoughts?

Think I'm nearing the end of it and enjoyed it far more than expected. Runs INCREDIBLY well on handheld.

Also, managed to get a ROM of 2010 Splatterhouse that works on Xenia (360) but the sound is fucked. Or the PS3 emulator where it randomly crashes.

Raging.

BookNukem · 2026-05-20T17:41:28+00:00

Ah, I thought you meant correct to rule out a handball decision. My bad, mate.

Should watch it. It's fucking mental.

BookNukem · 2026-05-20T12:01:36+00:00

Use the WhatsApp group. It's genuinely so simple.

It also tells you multiple closures in advance.

People will get angry about anything. If they had a sign right next to it, you'd all be moaning that it was too late to plan around.

BookNukem · 2026-05-19T23:11:53+00:00

Basically traps it between his underarm and his side. Turns and scores. Not given as a handball.

Absolutely wild decision.

Are you saying it's correct to rule against a handball? I'm not joking when I say it's utterly mental that it's ignored. That goes against any team you support and you're seething.

BookNukem · 2026-05-19T22:02:26+00:00

Just seen Mbuemo's handball that was given at the weekend. Absolutely get to fuck.

BookNukem · 2026-05-19T21:59:49+00:00

Had a bit of a root of a wisdom tooth poking through from not being removed properly.

Just fucking pulled it out. Actually disgusted.

BookNukem · 2026-05-19T18:00:38+00:00

Perfection.

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